Difficult PTO request

[Anonymous]

Our nanny requested the second week of September as the one week of vacation of her choosing to see her brother in FL. I believe he lives out of the country and I assume he is visiting FL himself that week. DC is starting preschool this fall and it turns out that that will be his first week of preschool. DC has always been with me or nanny and has never been in a daycare setting. This will be a HUGE transition for DC and likewise, it is probably the worst time that nanny could go on vacation. Would you approve nanny's vacation, anyway? i feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. Assuming her brother has already made his plans (it sounds like he did and it's not like he coordinated with her to make sure the dates worked for her), if she doesn't get this week off, it will be a lost opportunity to see a close relative who she might not see in a while. OTOH, it would really suck for DC not to have nanny during the first week of preschool. I would consider a compromise where she gets the first half of the week off as I am told the first couple days of preschool, the children barely spend any time there, anyway.

On a related note, when it comes to the nanny's "week of her choosing," do they automatically get the week they want or can a MB/DB say no, please pick another week, if they have a good reason?

[Anonymous]

I'd approve it and just take the week off of work myself so I could be with my kid before and after school. (Or half days or something).. If you like your nanny I would try and make this work. Your child will be fine.

[Anonymous]

This is not a good reason and no, you cannot say no.

[Anonymous]

She's asking you like ... FOUR MONTHS in advance. You'd be a real asshole to say no in this case.

If YOU act like school is a breeze then your son will be more likely to follow your lead. You set the tone.

When our nanny asks for a week off, DH and I split the week - we each take half a week off. For the one day neither of us could take off, we asked someone to watch the kids for us.

[Anonymous]

I've got to agree: she's asking months and months in advance. If you are that worried about his transition, take the week off yourself. Weren't you planning to take him on his first day anyway?

I also suggest that you take him over to the school before they switch to summer camp mode and let him look around, take a few pictures of him there that he can look at over the summer.

There is never a good time for your nanny to take vacation.

[Anonymous]

I would assume that a week of Nanny's choosing means that she makes the CHOICE herself.

And that as long as you receive ample notice (4 months is way more than ample!) she doesn't need permission at all.

I highly recommend that you give her that week off & do not do it begrudgingly because that would not be fair to her.

Plus I think it will be much better if your son has his own Mother by his side during his transition to school vs. his Nanny.

[Anonymous]

1) Give nanny the week off without a guilt trip

2) enroll DC in a few weeks of summer camp at the school earlier in the summer.

3) take the first few days off yourself

4) your kid will be fine

[Anonymous]

MB here and you are absolutely wrong in even thinking about denying your nanny's one week off request. YOU should take the week off from work and help your son.

Even posting crap questions like this give all MBs a bad name.

[Anonymous]

MB here, agreeing with everyone else.

If you are there for the first week of preschool your child will be fine.

If the nanny is giving you this much notice of her desired vacation week you don't deny it unless the Pope is coming to stay with you, you've had long-scheduled surgery on the calendar for that week, etc...

Give her the time graciously. There's no other right response if you want to be a good boss.

[Anonymous]

OP, what is wrong with you? I hope your nanny quits and finds a decent family. You are loathsome.

[Anonymous]

I'm a MB, and I think you (or DH/SO) should take off for your child's first week of preschool. especially if your nanny has an out of country brother visiting.
This is a big change for a 3yo, and it's good for Mom or Dad to be there.
The first week for my twins- I got called every day for a potty accident or something for one of them.

[Anonymous]

You could also have your child miss the first week of school or you really think it is vital that his nanny be around.

[Anonymous]

You're a huge asshole for even asking this question. You are the parent. You are the one who rearranges their life for the first week of preschool. Not your poor nanny who wants to see her brother. How inconsiderate can you get?

[Anonymous]

The nanny has a life too you know, OP. She has given you plenty of notice. Either find a temp nanny for that week (You have more than enough time) or take the week off yourself.

[Anonymous]

Take the week off, OP! You are clearly being unreasonable in even contemplating this issue. And yes, generally when an employee is given a week of of his/her choosing it means a week off of his/her choosing.