Nanny texts

[Anonymous]

My nanny send me several texts throughout the days last week telling me my four-year-old was miss behaving. Of course this is something I'd want to know once I return home from work, seemed a little appropriate to tell me throughout the day since it was an emergency and she wasn't asking for any guidance. It just made me feel really bad like my kid is a bad kid, when in reality he was just bored being home from school for a week getting a little ANTsy. How would you handle these texts?

[Anonymous]

Sorry I used talk to text. It seemed inappropriate and. I emergency or asking for guidance. Just telling me every few hours.

[Anonymous]

Just ignore her...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My nanny send me several texts throughout the days last week telling me my four-year-old was miss behaving. Of course this is something I'd want to know once I return home from work, seemed a little appropriate to tell me throughout the day since it was an emergency and she wasn't asking for any guidance. It just made me feel really bad like my kid is a bad kid, when in reality he was just bored being home from school for a week getting a little ANTsy. How would you handle these texts?

He was misbehaving and boredom is neither explanation nor justification. Life is sometimes boring and your kid needs to understand that he is not entitled to constant stimulation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny send me several texts throughout the days last week telling me my four-year-old was miss behaving. Of course this is something I'd want to know once I return home from work, seemed a little appropriate to tell me throughout the day since it was an emergency and she wasn't asking for any guidance. It just made me feel really bad like my kid is a bad kid, when in reality he was just bored being home from school for a week getting a little ANTsy. How would you handle these texts?

He was misbehaving and boredom is neither explanation nor justification. Life is sometimes boring and your kid needs to understand that he is not entitled to constant stimulation.

Yes of course and I encourage her to use discipline we use. But my question is are the texts appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she just wanted to keep you informed? If you don't like it, tell her to wait until you get home. Something like-

'Larla, I think we should talk about this properly when I get home as I feel this will achieve more. See you when I get home. Suzy x'

[Anonymous]

Her texts are not inappropriate (you are his parent!) but nanny should be able to handle him without informing you. Talk to her about it and ask why she did text you so often. Maybe she did need help/guidance and didn't know how to ask for it.

[Anonymous]

Ask if she'd like to start keeping a report notebook.

Also, I would hate this, and, like you, would be wondering if she found my child unusually difficult, and therefore didn't like him.

A nanny needs to be the kind of person who has no trouble separating behavior from the person, can handle normal kid behavior (even if it's worse than she would like), and, in general, focuses on the good stuff. She needs to be a "kid person."

[Anonymous]

I'd say "Please handle it using the discipline techniques we've discussed." And then I wouldn't respond to any more texts of that nature.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she was asking for tips.

Maybe she was worried you wouldn't approve of X discipline measure.

Maybe she was hoping that you would realize he's bored and offer to pay for an activity.

Maybe she was venting and chose the wrong audience.

Ask her.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. Have you previously told her not to text unless it's an emergency? As a nanny it can be difficult to know just how informed (if at all) MB wants to be during her workday. I've had some MBs who wanted me to check in several times a day with updates, and others who didn't want any texts unless it was a true emergency. I would try talking with her one time about it, and let her know that you trust her judgement and would prefer not to get texts while you're at work unless it's an emergency.

[Anonymous]

I find it inappropriate to send you multiple texts letting you know about your son's behavior.

An experienced + competent Nanny should know how to deal w/a situation like this on her own.

Plus texting you so much must be a huge distraction while working.

I would have a talk w/your Nanny & explain that unless it is an emergency, to please not text you multiple times per day as it distracts you from doing your job, etc.

If she honestly does not know how to handle your son's behavior on her own, then she may not be fit enough to be his Nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. Have you previously told her not to text unless it's an emergency? As a nanny it can be difficult to know just how informed (if at all) MB wants to be during her workday. I've had some MBs who wanted me to check in several times a day with updates, and others who didn't want any texts unless it was a true emergency. I would try talking with her one time about it, and let her know that you trust her judgement and would prefer not to get texts while you're at work unless it's an emergency.

You want to send me cute pix of my kid while I'm at work, send away!

He's really sick or injured and you think I need to know, or you need me to make a decision about medicine or a doctor, please, text or call.

You have some other kind of emergency: car breaks down, you break an ankle, you lock yourself out of the house, grandma shows up and demands to take DC ... yes, contact me.

You want to tell me he's making your job difficult today, wait until I get home or set up a time to talk about strategies to handle it. Otherwise, I think what you're saying is that either you can't handle it, or that you want me to feel badly for you. That's a terrible position to put a working mother in. Vent to a friend, or quit if you an't manage him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. Have you previously told her not to text unless it's an emergency? As a nanny it can be difficult to know just how informed (if at all) MB wants to be during her workday. I've had some MBs who wanted me to check in several times a day with updates, and others who didn't want any texts unless it was a true emergency. I would try talking with her one time about it, and let her know that you trust her judgement and would prefer not to get texts while you're at work unless it's an emergency.

This!

I've had employers who wanted a running list of texts to inform them of each new thing we were doing, when we left the house, arrived at the activity, left the activity and arrived back home.

On the other hand, I've had employers who didn't care where I took the kids and didn't want to be texted at all because they trusted my judgement and weren't worried about something happening.

If you don't discuss, she has to make assumptions.

[Anonymous]

Of course we only heard your side but M a sitter and I find your nanny incompetent, boring, and inconsiderate for disturbing you at work for so little. For one she should have engaged your child in activities or taken him outside somewhere. Is she your regular nanny or someone you hired just that day? If she is, you might want to find someone else but if not just never use her again.