AP wants to babysit in free time

[Anonymous]

I'm a bit worried about this situation--our AP wants to babysit in her free weekend time. I'm not comfortable with this bc I don't think it is permitted. I honestly do not think it is to make $$ but I think more to pass the time. I told her I think she should be out making friends and traveling on the weekend but she says she has 2 weeks for travel at the end of her year and that should be enough.

I am concerned bc if the agency finds out she could get in trouble and that could impact us and also bc of liability of what if something happens, how does that get explained (plus our car being tied into transport for her to do this...which I am not ok with either.)

I want her to be happy but i don't think this is the way.

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

It's common for au pairs to do this, but that doesn't mean it's okay. I *know* my current au pair (an extension who was previously with another family) was doing this during her first year, because she gave me the name of someone she babysat for as a reference. I don't know if she's doing it now or not (she says she isn't).

Don't let her use your car for this (that is what I told my au pair, and it's in the handbook). If she drives your car to her other job, rematch. It's definitely a liability issue, especially if she drives someone else's kids in your car.

[Anonymous]

I have allowed our au pairs to do this once or twice... but it also makes me nervous:

1) It is, as you note -- not permitted by the program. Part of this is to ensure au pairs are not working 60 hour weeks -- even if they want to.
2) The pay rates of babysitters tends to be "higher" than the au pair program. There are some mature au pairs who I think understand why their per-hour rate of pay under the program is a lot less than their babysitting money -- but the immature ones sometimes do an hour-per-hour calculation and then get really pissy about doing their real au pair job (Why should I be taking care of 3 HF kids for $4.50/hr when babysitting family pays me $12/hour for one kid??).

As has been discussed many times (and please lets not derail this thread on the fairness of au pair pay), the "hourly" pay for au pairs is basically lower than minimum wage, but the State Department has determined it is legal and appropriate because of the room and board costs. But some au pairs really don't get that. They focus only on the "hourly" rate, and then think the host family is awful because the babysitting family pays them 3 times that. They don't account for the plane tickets, food, heat, car insurance, phone, time spent training, etc.

So -- when I've allowed it, it is only late in the year with mature au pairs who want to earn a little extra cash, and for whom I'm comfortable that they get the big picture.

[Anonymous]

When I was an au pair the stipend was $100 a week. Another family had a Nanny who was going back to her country for a month. She worked for then 3 days a week. They asked me if I could do it and my family gave me their blessing. It was nice to earn some extra money.
I would let her do it as long as it doenst affect her care of your kids.

[Anonymous]

I have no problem with my AP babysitting, dog walking etc. I know it's against the rules, but I don't care. So long as she can meet her obligations to us, she's free to make some cash on the side, sitting for families in the neighborhood. I consider it to be a win-win.

[Anonymous]

I also let me AP babysit, and in fact encourage it so she can make more money to travel.

But you do have to be careful. People, even your friends, will come out of the wood work. Even some that try to take advantage of an AP. E.g., Can you pick my kid up from school and take him to a dr appt in the middle of the day and back. I will pay you 25 bucks.

I have learned to make it clear that it is only on weekends, and that we are first priority. So she can't take a job where the family says that want her every Friday night. That kind of thing.

And definitely no driving the other kids around in our car (haven't thought to say that, but will now)

An AP can make big bucks babysitting over a weekend, and if that will help her travel and enrich her experience in the US, I am all for it.

[Anonymous]

Ours asked, and we said that we couldn't tell her what to do, but it was against the terms of her visa. I also wouldn't let her use the car for it should it come to transpire.
There are weeks where we hit 45 hours of childcare. Since I don't love when I have to do my job on the weekends. I'd be concerned about her not getting enough downtime between shifts.
The issue is obviously having more money to spend, so we look for ways to help her dollars go a little further. We may pick up more of a snack that I've seen her purchase on her own (we don't buy chips or soda for the family), or a giftcard to a coffee house now and then.

[Anonymous]

Well are any of you concerned about the Visa violation or the fact of how could something be explained if something happened under her watch with the other family she is babysitting for?

[Anonymous]

It violates the terms of their visa, period. A host family who doesn't mind breaking the rules most likely breaks the rules on other issues as well, and when the AP complains to the agency, she won't mention the rules she broke which were in her favor. most APs will think that babysitting is lucrative and easy money, as they drive your car to the gig, using the cell phone you provide, and eating snacks/meals to feed themselves from your fridge. They are not thinking about the ways in which you are taking care of them.

[Anonymous]

I dont "not let" my AuPair babysit. Its her business, I'm not responsible for that. Only rule is that nobody's kids are allowed in our car unless it is to trandport our kids friends as pre arranged.

We have a family calendar and i know when I'll need her evenings and mark the family calendar as such. What she does outside of our hours is not my concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well are any of you concerned about the Visa violation or the fact of how could something be explained if something happened under her watch with the other family she is babysitting for?

Not my business. If my AuPair gets caught drinking underage at a night club, is this also something im supposed to "explain"? If she gets caught shoplifting or smoking pot in the commonwealth and i supposed to explain for that as well? She's not my minor child. She's a grown up. If she gets caught that is her problem.

Our neighbor is our LCC, i hear allll rhe storied and babysitting drama is not one of them. Its usually parents complaining that the AuPair is eating their strawberries, like they are shocked AuPairs even eat in the first place.

[Anonymous]

I've actually encouraged my AP to make it clear that she needs to be paid when she's being asked to take care of my kid's friends either on duty hours or off duty hours. We have a couple sets of good friends who have inappropriately started leaning on our AP as the back-up care -- funny how those "playdates" always end up at our house. Given that our kids are good friends, it works out most of the time but I want our AP to be compensated for her extra work, and I don't want the other families assuming AP is their free back-up childcare. Exchanging favors between parents is one thing, but expecting my AP to do those favors doesn't work for me.

I know that technically it's a visa violation, but I'm OK with my APs babysitting to earn extra cash as long as they aren't scheduling hours that interfere with their work hours and they're not too burned out.

[Anonymous]

The hypocrisy of the responses in this thread is mind-boggling. My LCC has shared stories of babysitting complication drama. If you condone or even encourage your AP to break the terms of her visa, how do you explain your expectation that AP won't break your household rules, or the laws of this country? If your relationship with your AP is such that she is "part of the family", what message are you sending to your own children? Break the terms of a contract you signed, as long as there is financial gain, and as long as you, the host parent, isn't inconvenienced by it. No wonder Trump is in office.

[Anonymous]

We have a section in the handbook about how working other jobs, including babysitting and part-time work is a violation of the visa. We know some families give AP right of first refusal for babysitting their own kids. We don't. We hire a babysitter for hours over 45 and do not offer the gig to the AP first. We do not want to muddy the waters and get into the circumstance of which rule violation we would look the other way and which we would enforce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a bit worried about this situation--our AP wants to babysit in her free weekend time. I'm not comfortable with this bc I don't think it is permitted. I honestly do not think it is to make $$ but I think more to pass the time. I told her I think she should be out making friends and traveling on the weekend but she says she has 2 weeks for travel at the end of her year and that should be enough.

I am concerned bc if the agency finds out she could get in trouble and that could impact us and also bc of liability of what if something happens, how does that get explained (plus our car being tied into transport for her to do this...which I am not ok with either.)

I want her to be happy but i don't think this is the way.

Thoughts?

How much cash does she earn hourly with you?