AP wants to babysit in free time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The hypocrisy of the responses in this thread is mind-boggling. My LCC has shared stories of babysitting complication drama. If you condone or even encourage your AP to break the terms of her visa, how do you explain your expectation that AP won't break your household rules, or the laws of this country? If your relationship with your AP is such that she is "part of the family", what message are you sending to your own children? Break the terms of a contract you signed, as long as there is financial gain, and as long as you, the host parent, isn't inconvenienced by it. No wonder Trump is in office.

It's no wonder Hilary is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a section in the handbook about how working other jobs, including babysitting and part-time work is a violation of the visa. We know some families give AP right of first refusal for babysitting their own kids. We don't. We hire a babysitter for hours over 45 and do not offer the gig to the AP first. We do not want to muddy the waters and get into the circumstance of which rule violation we would look the other way and which we would enforce.

We don't hit 45hrs, but are respectful of our AuPairs weekend time and are fully aware that the stipend offered is morally reprehensible. We have a first right of refusal for weekend work. We have a HS babysitter we pay $12/hr for a saturday night and offer it to our Aps first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hypocrisy of the responses in this thread is mind-boggling. My LCC has shared stories of babysitting complication drama. If you condone or even encourage your AP to break the terms of her visa, how do you explain your expectation that AP won't break your household rules, or the laws of this country? If your relationship with your AP is such that she is "part of the family", what message are you sending to your own children? Break the terms of a contract you signed, as long as there is financial gain, and as long as you, the host parent, isn't inconvenienced by it. No wonder Trump is in office.

It's no wonder Hilary is not.

Gee, I must have forgotten to review the terms of my APs contract with my kids.

This is for the APs not mine. The notion that this means I am violating other rules and someone taking advantage of my AP is illogical.

[Anonymous]

It is a violation of the state dept regulations for AP to work on a J-1 Visa. It is not the HFs violation. However, it is a contract violation if the HF permits it. So, if you really don’t know about it, you aren’t breaking the law. But if you allow/condone it, you are violating your agency contract.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is a violation of the state dept regulations for AP to work on a J-1 Visa. It is not the HFs violation. However, it is a contract violation if the HF permits it. So, if you really don’t know about it, you aren’t breaking the law. But if you allow/condone it, you are violating your agency contract.

We are with CCAP. The LCC always come visit within the 1st or 2nd week to meet both the host parents and AP together. We have had several LCC over the years and they run down a check list of things to cover during the meeting - including mention that it is a violation of the visa for the AP to earn money doing other work. So, in theory, every host family and AP have been given notice about this and there should ne no pleading ignorance on this.

[Anonymous]

APs want/need money. If they offer to babysit for money and you're comfortable with it, that's a win for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:APs want/need money. If they offer to babysit for money and you're comfortable with it, that's a win for everyone.

Wanting and needing money are different things. I've never matched with an AP who said she is coming to the States because she needs money. THey know their living expenses are covered-they come for the cultural exchange, and if they are smart with their money and budget for travel, they have a fantastic year, even without violating the terms of their visa. If they are here to spend more money than the stipend covers, then their decision to become an AP was a mistake. The terms of their visa, the program, the stipend, etc, are laid out very clearly before they sign the contract. If I accepted a job offer, with conditions and salary laid out as clearly as it is for AP, and signed the contract, then I have no excuse to complain about salary/stipend if I live beyond my means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was an au pair the stipend was $100 a week.

What? When was that?
I am nearing 40 and even in the late 90s the stipend was $149(.05)

@OP

Illegal. Tell her if she wants to babysit she needs to find another family to live with and work for. Do not support her.
I assume you wouldn't support her in getting a fake ID (even if she never used it), underage drinking, drinking and driving or any other illegal activity. Why would you support her in this?

[Anonymous]

OP- babysitting, or not babysitting, won't tip the balance in favor of a happy or unhappy AP. Your AP either knows how to balance a social life, down time, work, and financial budgeting, or doesn't. Adding babysitting to the equation will complicate things and most definitely won't increase AP happiness. Plus it's illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a violation of the state dept regulations for AP to work on a J-1 Visa. It is not the HFs violation. However, it is a contract violation if the HF permits it. So, if you really don’t know about it, you aren’t breaking the law. But if you allow/condone it, you are violating your agency contract.

We are with CCAP. The LCC always come visit within the 1st or 2nd week to meet both the host parents and AP together. We have had several LCC over the years and they run down a check list of things to cover during the meeting - including mention that it is a violation of the visa for the AP to earn money doing other work. So, in theory, every host family and AP have been given notice about this and there should ne no pleading ignorance on this.

Sure, but as a HM it is not my job to police what she does on her free time. If the state Department and the agencies were so concerned they could send in ICE or something. But guess what? Nobody gives a fuck. My AP has a work flow when shes on the clock. She had a certain set of guidelines she must follow in the house. She cannot drive our vehicle when intoxicated. This is all i care about. Her time, her contract with the visa, not my business or place to be the regulator for the federal government. I have more important things to do with my time than to figure out who is babysitting Larla while you go to see Jimmy Buffett.

[Anonymous]

Sure, but as a HM it is not my job to police what she does on her free time. If the state Department and the agencies were so concerned they could send in ICE or something. But guess what? Nobody gives a fuck. My AP has a work flow when shes on the clock. She had a certain set of guidelines she must follow in the house. She cannot drive our vehicle when intoxicated. This is all i care about. Her time, her contract with the visa, not my business or place to be the regulator for the federal government. I have more important things to do with my time than to figure out who is babysitting Larla while you go to see Jimmy Buffett.

What a classy HM. Sounds like a miserable place for an AP. No wonder your AP likes to babysit outside of your home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:APs want/need money. If they offer to babysit for money and you're comfortable with it, that's a win for everyone.

Wanting and needing money are different things. I've never matched with an AP who said she is coming to the States because she needs money. THey know their living expenses are covered-they come for the cultural exchange, and if they are smart with their money and budget for travel, they have a fantastic year, even without violating the terms of their visa. If they are here to spend more money than the stipend covers, then their decision to become an AP was a mistake. The terms of their visa, the program, the stipend, etc, are laid out very clearly before they sign the contract. If I accepted a job offer, with conditions and salary laid out as clearly as it is for AP, and signed the contract, then I have no excuse to complain about salary/stipend if I live beyond my means.

I'm guessing you're well off. What's it like to walk on water?

[Anonymous]

This HF is responsible, which isn't the same as well-off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a bit worried about this situation--our AP wants to babysit in her free weekend time. I'm not comfortable with this bc I don't think it is permitted. I honestly do not think it is to make $$ but I think more to pass the time. I told her I think she should be out making friends and traveling on the weekend but she says she has 2 weeks for travel at the end of her year and that should be enough.

I am concerned bc if the agency finds out she could get in trouble and that could impact us and also bc of liability of what if something happens, how does that get explained (plus our car being tied into transport for her to do this...which I am not ok with either.)

I want her to be happy but i don't think this is the way.

Thoughts?

If you aren't comfortable with it, talk to the LCC. She's not supposed to be babysitting, and she certainly can't use your vehicle to do it! It might help if you explain to her that you don't want her bringing germs back home (espeically if you have young children and/or a child with a compromised immune system).

[Anonymous]

While you can, and should, remind AP of the program requirements, you're not really in a position to police how she spends her free time. Yes you can put restrictions on the car but that's about the end of it.

My first AP had zero motivation to complete her course requirements. I offered to go with her to help her register. I sent her links to the fun travel weekend AP "courses" and handed her course catalogs from the local community college. She wasn't interested, wasn't extending, and I wasn't going to pretend I can force her to go to a class she's not interested in.

Current AP has taken a side gig here & there - taking family portrait photos. I can remind her of the visa requirements, but I'm not in a position to ban her from meeting up with this family at a park, or blocking their check from depositing into her account.

Could I pronounce that I forbid it? Sure, but that just incentivizes her not to tell me things and I want to be able to give her good advise, which I can't do if she won't voluntarily share with me.