How to broach looking for another job with our nanny

[Anonymous]

While we were looking for date night sitters on Care.com a few weeks ago, I noticed our nanny (she is saved as a favorite caregiver on my account) had updated her profile to reflect the fact that she is looking for a FT nanny position. She has been with us a year, I get that circumstances can change and what was once a fit for a person may not be any longer. It bums me out because when we did our last check in about her job satisfaction a few months ago, she had no complaints or issues. There has been no job creep, I follow our contract to the letter, she has guaranteed hours every week (and is typically let off early each day), there are no nanny cams or micromanaging, I encourage her to take PTO whenever she needs it (and then some, even if it's unpaid), she was recently given a raise after working for us for 8 months, etc. I'm sure we aren't the perfect family (who is??) but I frequently tell her how much I appreciate her and how thankful I am that she's DD's nanny.

The only "black mark" I can see is that I am a WAHM for 50-70% of the week. I try my hardest to stay away out of their way since DD has terribly bad separation anxiety so I leave for lunch when I know they are gone at an activity, and try not to return home unless DD is napping or to relieve our nanny for the day. I literally work in our bedroom for most of the day and try not to be seen. I know most nannys are not fans of WAHMs but she did know this going into the role.

Anyway, the point of this is I don't know how to ask her why she is looking for a job, or if it even matters. Frankly, I've been wanting to discuss it for a while but I've been putting it off, and now it's bothering me a lot. We would love to have a long-term nanny that is with our family until our DD heads to Kinder. Based on our contract, we did ask that a 4 week notice is given on both ends unless we terminate her for cause. I guess I've been reticent to bring it up because it seems a bit awkward for all parties involved. Any advice would be appreciated!

[Anonymous]

"Larla, I was looking on Care.com for a Saturday night sitter and bumped into your updated profile. I was surprised to see you're looking for a new job. This surprises me because when we spoke in December you assured us you were happy, and I thought our relationship was good enough that if it had changed you would have told me about a problem. What's going on?"

Start looking for a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure she recently updated? I often forget to take my profile down once I accept a position.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I'm sure. At least six months ago, her profile stated she was currently employed at as FT nanny and was only available for date nights.

[Anonymous]

You have your answer, WAHM.

[Anonymous]

MB here. Maybe the answer is as simple as she is looking for higher compensation and wants to see what is out there. Can you increase her pay or perhaps provide her with a richer benefits package? Did you give her an annual bonus? I am a believer in being direct and asking her.

[Anonymous]

Ask her directly.

Also did she know you were going to work from home when she took the job?

[Anonymous]

Perhaps she thought that it wouldn't be so tough to work when the parent was in the home and now after much experience has decided it just isn't right for her.

Either that or there is something else that is bothering her.

I would directly ask her about her job satisfaction and let her know you are completely approachable if she ever needs to discuss anything at all with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have your answer, WAHM.

This.

[Anonymous]

If your kid has major separation anxiety and you work at home, that sounds like a rough combination. I'm sorry, OP, it sounds like you are doing everything you can do to make the situation work, but perhaps it isn't a good fit for the nanny.

I'm sorry, what a bummer, you sound like a good employer too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The only "black mark" I can see is that I am a WAHM for 50-70% of the week.

WAHM is not in itself a black mark. I am WAH as well and when nanny first started, sure, DD would cry and run away looking for me. But now that DD is comfortable with nanny and loves her, she doesn't do this anymore. How much does WAH really impact nanny's job in a negative way? Does she have to keep chasing after your DD? It sounds like you leave the house so they don't have to?

As to your issue, I would just ask nanny and simultaneously, be ready to look for someone new.