Hiring a nanny who is in major life transition?

[Anonymous]

Nanny has amazing references and experience, is terrific with kid. But she's in the middle of a divorce and moving out. I don't know the deal with her husband, but it seems amicable.

My concerns:
1) can she really commit to a longterm position when her life is in flux?
2) what if she finds it too expensive to live by herself and wants to move back to Virginia to be with family?
3) she left her previous family (who frankly sounded exploitative) with 2 weeks notice because they were asking her to work overtime and she was stressed with her life situation; could this be a bad sign? Previous MB won't serve as reference; all others loved her.

Any advice for how to word contract given these issues? Would this be a red flag for you?

[Anonymous]

I think what you need to do OP is directly ask this potential Nanny these questions, then decide if her answers are satisfactory or not.

[Anonymous]

hire her. she sounds good. she needs a job- now more than ever. she's leaving a not great employer, which will make her thankful to have a good fair new employer.
it's the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

I would pass

[Anonymous]

I would pass as well. If she were a great nanny, you wouldn't know anything about her private life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what you need to do OP is directly ask this potential Nanny these questions, then decide if her answers are satisfactory or not.

I did. The answers were OK. It's just talk though... I am aware that words don't change the volatility of the situation.

She is in school here, so I suppose that gives some other stability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would pass as well. If she were a great nanny, you wouldn't know anything about her private life.

She did not volunteer. The move came up tangentially when we were talking about vacation days and our family's plans. I asked some follow up questions. Apparently it just happened, so she was a bit emotional but quickly pulled it together and we moved on.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here- Why has the nanny given you so much personal information??? I've been with my family 10 years and they know nothing about my personal life! She sounds dramatic.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny and have moved three times since starting my current job. If she's mature and knows how to manage her time well, it shouldn't be a problem. Try to be as flexible as you can with her and if she's a good nanny, she'll return the favor.

[Anonymous]

If this were a job with redundant employees, multiple interview steps, and an easy way to replace her if things went bad, I'd say take the risk.

With a nanny, unless there is literally no one else you've seen who can compare, I'd say why risk it?

I'm sure that's not fair, and someone else might just be concealing a similar situation. But you know about this one, and it does seem like you're "buying" her personal stress here.

[Anonymous]

I am uncomfortable with her sharing so much personal information with you during an interview.

That said, I am a total no drama nanny and never bring my emotions to work. My mother died and I didn't even tell my employers until I needed time off to fly to the memorial a month later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what you need to do OP is directly ask this potential Nanny these questions, then decide if her answers are satisfactory or not.

I think it is none of your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would pass as well. If she were a great nanny, you wouldn't know anything about her private life.

She did not volunteer. The move came up tangentially when we were talking about vacation days and our family's plans. I asked some follow up questions. Apparently it just happened, so she was a bit emotional but quickly pulled it together and we moved on.

You sound like a real peach--a rotten peach. Do her a huge favor and do not hire her.

[Anonymous]

I laugh when I read crap like this. You have no way of knowing if this nanny is going to be great or poor because she has a personal life. Just because you are getting a divorce/moving/moving in with a significant other/etc...doesn't mean you can or can't do your job. Quit generalizing. I hired a nanny going through breast cancer treatment, who is now in remition. She is the best, I share her with another family who love her as much as I do. This nanny also has a dying mother and a troubled adult daughter. She shows up with a smile and enthusiasm every day and my daughter loves her dearly. OP, would you want someone to judge you based on circumstance?

[Anonymous]

I'm genuinely curious about some of these responses. Is it really so weird to know about the nanny's personal life? Our nanny is relatively new to us (started two months ago). I exchange pleasantries with her daily so know (generally speaking) what she does on the weekends, who she travels with or to see, etc. I took a half day vacation a few weeks back because I had a doctor's appointment so ended up walking with my daughter and our nanny a half mile to the park and we chatted a bit then too. It's nothing overly personal but she talked a bit about her family, an upcoming trip, and what brought her to the area. I'm not looking to be her BFF, but I'm now curious why others know so little or don't care to know. Is that because the opportunity hasn't presented itself or because you intentionally shy away from conversation? Comparing it to an office job, I'm not best friends with my bosses either but they certainly know stuff about my life.