My niece is 12 and nephew is 9 and they still have their loving nanny

[Anonymous]

My brother and SIL still need their beloved nanny to do school pick ups and activities as well as covering the summer and sick days and school holidays. she also still does kids laundry, grocery shopping, errands and cooks for them. She has been with them since my niece was born. It has been great for the kids to have this consistency in their lives.

My question is how do you find and keep a good nanny for the long haul? Is this something you discuss upfront? I know some nannies prefer older kids and others prefer babies - how do you find one who is educated and experienced in handling newborn to middle school?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

We did discuss long term plans in the interview. I didn't worry about education.

[Anonymous]

I think a consistent situation with both parties is vital. You would need a nanny who is a bit older but still strong and mature done with having her own kids. Also as an employer you should be clear about your long term situation such as any future move or big change. Offer a great compensation with good benefit, bonuses and raises since as a nanny there isn't much "room to grow." Respect the nanny, treat her as a third parents to the kids that is her opinion matters and she is in charge too. Reassure her that her job is secure and as children get to school age, she won't be left high and dry to look for another job if she is willing to help around the house. Some nannies don't like housework though.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here- I've been with the same family for 11 years, since both kids were born. Whe never discussed me staying this long but the reasons I have stayed are:

- Even after 11 years, the parents still say that you every day. They never take me for granted.
- Mutual respect
- I pitch in and help but the parents don't add on extra duties and there's never been any job creep.
- I am paid extremely well.
- I never call in sick (very healthy and only one sick day in 11 years). If I have a cold, the kids are already sick so I go to work. On the flip side because I am so reliable and don't call in the parents never ever deny my vacation requests. Occasionally (couple times a year) I ask for an unpaid day off because I have an event (ex: I went to the Stanley cup finals) and the parents always say yes. Some nannies call in sick when they want a day off, I just ask. I also have 2 weeks paid vacation which I always use. Dates are my choice.
- I have all federal holidays and guaranteed hours. Sometimes I get an extra week or two of paid holidays in the summer if our vacations don't line up, but if I know the family is travelling I will try to coordinate our vacations but it's my choice. If the family hasn't planned anything yet or the dates don't work for me I'm not forced to arrange my life around their holiday and just get extra time off.
- I've never heard the parents argue and they've never yelled at me. We communicate via email so everything is written and clear.
- I respect my role is the caregiver and my bosses are the parents. I'm there to help raise their kids how the parents want them raised and don't offer unsolicited advice or do things my way.
- The parents are very involved but WOHM. This relationship wouldn't work with a stay at home parent.
- I have a lot of freedom and don't have to ask the parents when I plan playdates or outings.
- Even after all these years our relationship is very professional. I'm not BFFs with my Boss and I don't go to work sharing my personal life. They're my bosses and I'm friendly but I don't share anything personal. I'm there to watch the kids, not talk about what I did on the weekend or my latest boyfriend.
- The parents don't leave me a big mess to clean up on Mondays and in turn I leave the house clean how I found it. I make the parents bed when they forget and do little things to help even though it's not my job and they always appreciate it.
- I receive a Xmas bonus and they remember my birthday and plan something fun for me with the kids. I always have the kids make presents and cards for the parents and grandparents on bdays and Xmas.
- The parents are so nice and kind, they model such a healthy relationship. I didn't have the best childhood and love seeing them be so involved with their kids. The way they communicate as a couple and a family is inspiring and I really enjoy going to work.

[Anonymous]

Most nanny want a long term relationship with the family. when looking at the nanny experience look if that person not only have experience with infants but as well as older children. This will be our nanny last year with us. she had experience working in private schools, with older children. she worked as a preschool teacher, and in family homes. You would need a nanny that is well rounded. Most family can't afford to keep a nanny for 8-12 years. Our nanny is now making 80,000+ she has been working with us for 6 years.

[Anonymous]

PP, I'm guessing you're the nanny.

[Anonymous]

I was with my NF for just over 7 years. Kids were 9 and 11 when I left and I stayed in touch with them both for a long time afterwards. I loved the kids, the parents paid me well, (once the kids were in school they never cut my pay for example) and I had no reason to leave.

[Anonymous]

We have a long term nanny and each year, we sat down and explained how the job would change--- and it did. First kids to preschool, then elementary school, etc and how the responsibilities would change. Each year she agreed to the new changes and to the raise. Open communication is the key.

[Anonymous]

Great advice! Thank you!!

[Anonymous]

Money, and the job either has to get easier or the perks (and pay) considerably better. Otherwise, no grown person with her own life to lead is going to stay a decade or more.

[Anonymous]

The jobs that kept me the longest paid way more than you'd believe, and they worshiped the ground I walked on. I'd do anything for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- I've been with the same family for 11 years, since both kids were born. Whe never discussed me staying this long but the reasons I have stayed are:

- Even after 11 years, the parents still say that you every day. They never take me for granted.
- Mutual respect
- I pitch in and help but the parents don't add on extra duties and there's never been any job creep.
- I am paid extremely well.
- I never call in sick (very healthy and only one sick day in 11 years). If I have a cold, the kids are already sick so I go to work. On the flip side because I am so reliable and don't call in the parents never ever deny my vacation requests. Occasionally (couple times a year) I ask for an unpaid day off because I have an event (ex: I went to the Stanley cup finals) and the parents always say yes. Some nannies call in sick when they want a day off, I just ask. I also have 2 weeks paid vacation which I always use. Dates are my choice.
- I have all federal holidays and guaranteed hours. Sometimes I get an extra week or two of paid holidays in the summer if our vacations don't line up, but if I know the family is travelling I will try to coordinate our vacations but it's my choice. If the family hasn't planned anything yet or the dates don't work for me I'm not forced to arrange my life around their holiday and just get extra time off.
- I've never heard the parents argue and they've never yelled at me. We communicate via email so everything is written and clear.
- I respect my role is the caregiver and my bosses are the parents. I'm there to help raise their kids how the parents want them raised and don't offer unsolicited advice or do things my way.
- The parents are very involved but WOHM. This relationship wouldn't work with a stay at home parent.
- I have a lot of freedom and don't have to ask the parents when I plan playdates or outings.
- Even after all these years our relationship is very professional. I'm not BFFs with my Boss and I don't go to work sharing my personal life. They're my bosses and I'm friendly but I don't share anything personal. I'm there to watch the kids, not talk about what I did on the weekend or my latest boyfriend.
- The parents don't leave me a big mess to clean up on Mondays and in turn I leave the house clean how I found it. I make the parents bed when they forget and do little things to help even though it's not my job and they always appreciate it.
- I receive a Xmas bonus and they remember my birthday and plan something fun for me with the kids. I always have the kids make presents and cards for the parents and grandparents on bdays and Xmas.
- The parents are so nice and kind, they model such a healthy relationship. I didn't have the best childhood and love seeing them be so involved with their kids. The way they communicate as a couple and a family is inspiring and I really enjoy going to work.

This is really very lovely and uplifting. But as a professional, I tend to believe it's our job to politely offer occasional advice. If parents want a person to blindly follow orders, what's the point of wanting someone educated and experienced?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most nanny want a long term relationship with the family. when looking at the nanny experience look if that person not only have experience with infants but as well as older children. This will be our nanny last year with us. she had experience working in private schools, with older children. she worked as a preschool teacher, and in family homes. You would need a nanny that is well rounded. Most family can't afford to keep a nanny for 8-12 years. Our nanny is now making 80,000+ she has been working with us for 6 years.

Nice example of a well-compensated nanny at $80,000 a year ago.

[Anonymous]

At their age, they have a governess, not a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At their age, they have a governess, not a nanny.

Technically, a governess would be taking care of children after the nursery stage, but she would also be teaching them. This nanny is not.