Warning nanny about PPD?

[Anonymous]

I had PPD the first go round, and it manifested itself more in being quick to anger than being quick to cry. (Though the anger was often followed by sobbing.) Anyway, we're expecting #2, and our nanny will still be caring for DD1 while I'm at home with DC2.

I kind of want to warn the nanny about what happened last time, but I don't want her to see it like I'm making an excuse to mean once the new baby comes. I'm obviously going to be much more alert for symptoms and seek treatment sooner if this happens again. But the early days were especially emotional, and if I take something the wrong way or start crying, I don't want her to be alarmed.

Am I over thinking this? We have a great relationship right now and I'm afraid I'm going to become a huge bitch once the baby comes and ruin it.

[Anonymous]

You should definitely let her know so she can look for new employment. No one should have to endure your PPD for any reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should definitely let her know so she can look for new employment. No one should have to endure your PPD for any reason.

Really? Sounds like you are either an insensitive man or someone who is struggling with her own anger management issues.

OP: I think it make sense to have a chat with your nanny. I am sure she will appreciate it and I am sure she will cut you some slack if you are struggling a bit after DC#2 is born.

[Anonymous]

Do not withhold this information from your nanny!!

[Anonymous]

I think it makes sense. You can say that you would like her help looking for symptoms, so it sounds like you are on the same team rather than pre-excusing yourself for bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Under no circumstances is this information you need to disclose. I'm so sorry for the terrible advice you are getting here--be mindful of your experience as it is happening. If something starts happening that raises your alarms, pull your nanny aside and let her know that you are sorry. Then talk to your doctor. But don't run around worrying that you owe the world an apology or an explanation for yourself. Those kind of underlying self-concepts can fuel depression and anxiety.

[Anonymous]

it's fine to mention it, but a competent and experienced nanny will already know to cut you some serious slack for the first year or so.

[Anonymous]

If my MB warned me about that, I'd do research on how to best support her.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here and I would want to know only so that I could be as supportive and helpful as possible. You know your nanny. Is she in general compassionate and gentle towards you as well as your child? If she is then go ahead and tell her and also talk about how best to respond. "If I am snapping at you, please just give me space/point it out by doing X/call my husband/whatever you'd prefer." Let her know how much you value her and ask whether there is anything you can do to make your maternity leave easier on her (e.g., enrolling older DC in a baby gym so nanny had an easy go-to place to get out of the house in all weather).

[Anonymous]

I would not work for anyone who yelled, screamed. Get some damn meds.