Admitedly stupid and insecure question...
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Anonymous
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We had a wonderful weekend nanny care for our son (12 hours a day) on both Saturday and Sunday. DH and I own a restaurant and I am able to stay home with our son during the week but need to help out on weekends so she is our only nanny. Nanny has been caring for our little boy since he was six months old and he is now two. She is a very good nanny and a truly wonderful teacher and he loves her.
Nanny works for another family for 30 hours during the week. I know she loves that child very much and always talks about her. But it makes me feel bad and sorry for my son that she seems to care more for that other child than my son. Last weekend I noticed that she has the other child's picture as wallpaper on her phone even though she has many pictures of my son. It makes me feel bad that she loves her other charge more than my child. Is it totally stupid that I care about this? Is there anything I can do about it whether it is stupid or not? Thanks. |
Anonymous
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No amount of phone wallpaper can tell you how a person feels. Maybe she talks about your son with the other little boy; maybe that's her way of connecting two children that she loves to be with, but who don't get to see each other.
The second part of this is that even though the number of hours is about the same (30 and 24), she is with the other little boy most of the week. She is also working very long, weekend days for you. I don't know how her 30 hours are split up, but if it's a 5-day-a-week job, that probably means her days with the other boy are a little easier, and she's not thinking at all while she's there about having a "real" weekend like other people; there's probably a little bit of a "halo" around the other job (though I assume not too much of one since they couldn't provide her with enough hours). I'm sure she's happy you had this job available for her, and I'm sure she enjoys your son. I think that you're going to have to come to terms with it being very difficult to find someone for weekends who will only be working with your son, and therefore more likely to kvell about him all the time. |
Anonymous
| As a nanny, the kids I am closest to are the ones I was either with for a long time or whose parents were fairly hands off and I got to really structure our time and have a big impact. She's just the weekend sitter, and your child is still young. FWIW, my guess is that she probably brags to her other family about how cute/smart/whatever your son is, you just don't hear it. |
Anonymous
| She spends more time with that kid. Also, you have no idea how much time she spends talking to the other parents about your kid. Stop being insecure. You hired her to do a job not to love your child. If she's doing a great job, let it go. |
Anonymous
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You ARE being stupid and insecure. I'm glad you realize. Now get a grip and forget about this - it doesn't mean anything and if you ever say anything to the nanny she will realize how nuts you are.
And just so you know: the reason you are so worried and upset about this is because you are the kind of parent who gets their self worth through their kid. I highly recommend you get this aspect of your self esteem sorted out quickly or else it's a great way to ensure your child never respects you. |
Anonymous
Yikes!! Talk about R-U-D-E!! 
This PP sounds quite sinister to me. OP, as a parent your feelings are quite valid. I would probably feel the same way because I also have issues. My best advice is to simply thank your lucky stars that you have such a wonderful Nanny when so many people who visit this forum do not. Your Nanny sounds like she is most definitely worth her weight in pure gold. |
Anonymous
| Grow up, OP! |
Anonymous
| Hmm something it's not right. There is another post from a nanny ... |