Wife doesn't want to give sitter a raise

[Anonymous]

We have a sitter who has been working for us part time. She has done an excellent job. After two years I thought we should give the sitter a raise. But my wife disagreed. I tried to explain that it's good to keep employees happy, etc. Moreover, one of our children is special needs so it is difficult to find qualified sitters. But she thinks we should not give the sitter a raise unless she asks for one.

My wife thinks the sitter is great.

Any suggestions on convincing my wife?

I'm inclined to tell the sitter to ask for a raise.

[Anonymous]

Never give anyone a raise who doesn't request one.

[Anonymous]

Give her a raise. It's always horrible to have to ask for a raise in a nanny position. On top of that it damages the relationship. If you like her, you should show her.

[Anonymous]

Your wife is clueless and inept at dealing with people, especially employees. No, your nanny shouldn't have to ask for a raise. Very few jobs require that and most would say no. If a nanny asks for a raise she runs a very real risk of losing her job to someone willing to do it cheaper. Character is doing the right thing whether anyone is watching or not. Give the sitter a raise. It's the right thing to do. You married a woman with low morals and ethics.

[Anonymous]

Back in the day, my DB told me I should ask for a raise. I had been working for them for a little over a year at the time. We are going on 3 years together now. After he brought it up, I though about it for a few days and decided I would rather have better working conditions. The better working conditions I wanted were little things, like keeping the kids drink cups on the bottom shelf so I could reach them easier, since I am short and the parents are tall. A few months later I announced that I would be raising my rates when the new school year started. They are expecting baby number three now, so I will be raising my rates again in about six months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your wife is clueless and inept at dealing with people, especially employees. No, your nanny shouldn't have to ask for a raise. Very few jobs require that and most would say no. If a nanny asks for a raise she runs a very real risk of losing her job to someone willing to do it cheaper. Character is doing the right thing whether anyone is watching or not. Give the sitter a raise. It's the right thing to do. You married a woman with low morals and ethics.

op here. The question was how to persuade wife? As we both employ the sitter it has s hard for me to do unilaterally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back in the day, my DB told me I should ask for a raise. I had been working for them for a little over a year at the time. We are going on 3 years together now. After he brought it up, I though about it for a few days and decided I would rather have better working conditions. The better working conditions I wanted were little things, like keeping the kids drink cups on the bottom shelf so I could reach them easier, since I am short and the parents are tall. A few months later I announced that I would be raising my rates when the new school year started. They are expecting baby number three now, so I will be raising my rates again in about six months.

Better working conditions is where they keep the kids drink cups. Ok, that is bizarre you would not just talk to them or keep one or two out during the day to use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife is clueless and inept at dealing with people, especially employees. No, your nanny shouldn't have to ask for a raise. Very few jobs require that and most would say no. If a nanny asks for a raise she runs a very real risk of losing her job to someone willing to do it cheaper. Character is doing the right thing whether anyone is watching or not. Give the sitter a raise. It's the right thing to do. You married a woman with low morals and ethics.

op here. The question was how to persuade wife? As we both employ the sitter it has s hard for me to do unilaterally.

Ask her how she would feel if her work was never acknowledged with additional compensation.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree with you about giving a valued, excellent sitter a raise. It's smart.

I don't agree about making it the sitter's problem that you and your wife aren't on the same page. You need to work this out with your wife.

When I have these kinds of conversations with my husband I talk about the value of steady, good childcare versus the hassles and stress of finding replacement people we trust and can rely on. The stress and challenges of replacing someone are well worth the overall small amounts of a raise. The value of making someone feel appreciated and valued, and therefore want to stay connected to our family is huge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a sitter who has been working for us part time. She has done an excellent job. After two years I thought we should give the sitter a raise. But my wife disagreed. I tried to explain that it's good to keep employees happy, etc. Moreover, one of our children is special needs so it is difficult to find qualified sitters. But she thinks we should not give the sitter a raise unless she asks for one.

My wife thinks the sitter is great.

Any suggestions on convincing my wife?


I'm inclined to tell the sitter to ask for a raise.

I never ask my boss to give raise,they always after a year they give me a raise and card with appreciation.

[Anonymous]

Give her bonuses or gifts here and there. I prefer that to setting a new base rate that I'm stuck with.

[Anonymous]

Give her a raise, if she is that good then nannies should get raise without mentioning it or they will feel unappreciated and look for a new job. It happened to me and I quit. So if your are good nanny there are enough job in the market with good families.

[Anonymous]

I've never had to ask for a raise during my 9 year namny career. I'd feel so awkward!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never give anyone a raise who doesn't request one.

Bull. Show appreciation for a job well done with the only thing that counts:. MONEY. Your wife is a cheap pig, OP. Give the babysitter a raise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never give anyone a raise who doesn't request one.

Bull. Show appreciation for a job well done with the only thing that counts:. MONEY. Your wife is a cheap pig, OP. Give the babysitter a raise.