What can nanny do while toddler eats outside the home?

[Anonymous]

Because of DC's class schedule, it is convenient for the nanny to give DC his meals outside the home and she will do so at various cafes near the school, the park if it's warm enough, etc. A mom whose kid is in the same class as DC told me the other day that she has seen nanny give lunch to DC several times and nanny is always napping. I understand she might not want to engage DC because it might distract him, but it kind of bothers me that out of her 4-5 hour workday, she's zoning out for potentially 45 minutes (DC is a notoriously slow eater). What if anything can I ask the nanny to do while DC is otherwise engaged with lunch? Some ideas are meal planning for the week / making a grocery list (for me to buy), coming up with activities for her and DC to do during the week (e.g., art project, research local kid-friendly events). Anything else? I don't expect or need her to fill up the full 45 minute meal time, but it would be nice if she did something for part of it.

[Anonymous]

You need to consider if its a good fit. Having her make a grocery list makes no sense. Its not safe for her to be napping in public with her child. Personally I'd talk to her and if it does not get better find a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

Is she literally napping with her head down on the table???? I have to assume that this is what the other mom meant if she used the word "napping."

If so, you have a much more important conversation to have about monitoring meals. She doesn't have to stare at him for 45 minutes, but she needs to be able to see right away if he's choking, or falling off a chair/bench, or someone comes and starts talking to him ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because of DC's class schedule, it is convenient for the nanny to give DC his meals outside the home and she will do so at various cafes near the school, the park if it's warm enough, etc. A mom whose kid is in the same class as DC told me the other day that she has seen nanny give lunch to DC several times and nanny is always napping. I understand she might not want to engage DC because it might distract him, but it kind of bothers me that out of her 4-5 hour workday, she's zoning out for potentially 45 minutes (DC is a notoriously slow eater). What if anything can I ask the nanny to do while DC is otherwise engaged with lunch? Some ideas are meal planning for the week / making a grocery list (for me to buy), coming up with activities for her and DC to do during the week (e.g., art project, research local kid-friendly events). Anything else? I don't expect or need her to fill up the full 45 minute meal time, but it would be nice if she did something for part of it.

She's sleeping in the park near your kid's lunch? What? If she's actually asleep in public then she needs to be let go, she's not providing the basic "keep my kid safe" care that is at the heart of your contract.

If, which is more likely, you mean "zoning out" as in, your kid eats very slowly and while s/he does so the nanny sits quietly with them taking in the scenery, then get over yourself and tell the other mom to get a grip. She's at a park or cafe, she can't be simultaneously scrubbing your toilets while the kid eats. As far as coming up with ideas and activities, does she have to be holding a clipboard to do so? If you saw me brainstorming ideas on a park bench it would look like zoning out, I'm sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of DC's class schedule, it is convenient for the nanny to give DC his meals outside the home and she will do so at various cafes near the school, the park if it's warm enough, etc. A mom whose kid is in the same class as DC told me the other day that she has seen nanny give lunch to DC several times and nanny is always napping. I understand she might not want to engage DC because it might distract him, but it kind of bothers me that out of her 4-5 hour workday, she's zoning out for potentially 45 minutes (DC is a notoriously slow eater). What if anything can I ask the nanny to do while DC is otherwise engaged with lunch? Some ideas are meal planning for the week / making a grocery list (for me to buy), coming up with activities for her and DC to do during the week (e.g., art project, research local kid-friendly events). Anything else? I don't expect or need her to fill up the full 45 minute meal time, but it would be nice if she did something for part of it.

She's sleeping in the park near your kid's lunch? What? If she's actually asleep in public then she needs to be let go, she's not providing the basic "keep my kid safe" care that is at the heart of your contract.

If, which is more likely, you mean "zoning out" as in, your kid eats very slowly and while s/he does so the nanny sits quietly with them taking in the scenery, then get over yourself and tell the other mom to get a grip. She's at a park or cafe, she can't be simultaneously scrubbing your toilets while the kid eats. As far as coming up with ideas and activities, does she have to be holding a clipboard to do so? If you saw me brainstorming ideas on a park bench it would look like zoning out, I'm sure.

This is OP. I'll need to ask the other mom what exactly she meant, but it sounded more like zoning out than full on lying on the bench with a pillow napping.

PP - so it sounds like it is okay for me to ask the nanny to come up with ideas during meal time? I know for a fact that she doesn't come up with ideas because they rotate through the same things every week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of DC's class schedule, it is convenient for the nanny to give DC his meals outside the home and she will do so at various cafes near the school, the park if it's warm enough, etc. A mom whose kid is in the same class as DC told me the other day that she has seen nanny give lunch to DC several times and nanny is always napping. I understand she might not want to engage DC because it might distract him, but it kind of bothers me that out of her 4-5 hour workday, she's zoning out for potentially 45 minutes (DC is a notoriously slow eater). What if anything can I ask the nanny to do while DC is otherwise engaged with lunch? Some ideas are meal planning for the week / making a grocery list (for me to buy), coming up with activities for her and DC to do during the week (e.g., art project, research local kid-friendly events). Anything else? I don't expect or need her to fill up the full 45 minute meal time, but it would be nice if she did something for part of it.

She's sleeping in the park near your kid's lunch? What? If she's actually asleep in public then she needs to be let go, she's not providing the basic "keep my kid safe" care that is at the heart of your contract.

If, which is more likely, you mean "zoning out" as in, your kid eats very slowly and while s/he does so the nanny sits quietly with them taking in the scenery, then get over yourself and tell the other mom to get a grip. She's at a park or cafe, she can't be simultaneously scrubbing your toilets while the kid eats. As far as coming up with ideas and activities, does she have to be holding a clipboard to do so? If you saw me brainstorming ideas on a park bench it would look like zoning out, I'm sure.

This is OP. I'll need to ask the other mom what exactly she meant, but it sounded more like zoning out than full on lying on the bench with a pillow napping.

PP - so it sounds like it is okay for me to ask the nanny to come up with ideas during meal time? I know for a fact that she doesn't come up with ideas because they rotate through the same things every week.

The same things every week are fine for a toddler. If she is not attentive to your child, you fire her. Giving her tasks takes away from her engaging your child. How is zoning out any better than being on her phone/internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to consider if its a good fit. Having her make a grocery list makes no sense. Its not safe for her to be napping in public with her child. Personally I'd talk to her and if it does not get better find a new nanny.

Why does it not make sense? I've met nannies who come up with ideas for things to cook and tell the MB/DB what to buy. DC is becoming a more adventurous eater and nanny and I were just talking the other day about her coming up with some meal ideas. Since she and I are from different backgrounds and cook different things, I thought it would be easier for her to make things she is comfortable with, but I don't know what ingredients she needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of DC's class schedule, it is convenient for the nanny to give DC his meals outside the home and she will do so at various cafes near the school, the park if it's warm enough, etc. A mom whose kid is in the same class as DC told me the other day that she has seen nanny give lunch to DC several times and nanny is always napping. I understand she might not want to engage DC because it might distract him, but it kind of bothers me that out of her 4-5 hour workday, she's zoning out for potentially 45 minutes (DC is a notoriously slow eater). What if anything can I ask the nanny to do while DC is otherwise engaged with lunch? Some ideas are meal planning for the week / making a grocery list (for me to buy), coming up with activities for her and DC to do during the week (e.g., art project, research local kid-friendly events). Anything else? I don't expect or need her to fill up the full 45 minute meal time, but it would be nice if she did something for part of it.

She's sleeping in the park near your kid's lunch? What? If she's actually asleep in public then she needs to be let go, she's not providing the basic "keep my kid safe" care that is at the heart of your contract.

If, which is more likely, you mean "zoning out" as in, your kid eats very slowly and while s/he does so the nanny sits quietly with them taking in the scenery, then get over yourself and tell the other mom to get a grip. She's at a park or cafe, she can't be simultaneously scrubbing your toilets while the kid eats. As far as coming up with ideas and activities, does she have to be holding a clipboard to do so? If you saw me brainstorming ideas on a park bench it would look like zoning out, I'm sure.

This is OP. I'll need to ask the other mom what exactly she meant, but it sounded more like zoning out than full on lying on the bench with a pillow napping.

PP - so it sounds like it is okay for me to ask the nanny to come up with ideas during meal time? I know for a fact that she doesn't come up with ideas because they rotate through the same things every week.

The same things every week are fine for a toddler. If she is not attentive to your child, you fire her. Giving her tasks takes away from her engaging your child. How is zoning out any better than being on her phone/internet.

As I said before, I understand her wanting to limit engaging DC as sometimes it distracts him from his meal. And I agree it's fine for DC to do the same thing, but it's also nice to mix it up with the occasional new activity. I am with DC for half of the day (and nanny is with DC the other half) and we mostly go to the same places and do the same sort of thing. But every once in a while, I have him do a new art activity or take him someplace different. I shoot for something new once a week. And honestly, it's just as much for me as it is for him to keep ME from getting bored!

[Anonymous]

OP this all sounds a bit deranged. You don't want her to interrupt his lunch, but you also don't want her to look too restful while not interrupting his lunch? Has it occurred to you that you don't like this woman for some other reason and are just looking for reasons to be upset with her?

[Anonymous]

Wait, wait, wait... the nanny is dozing off in public places?! Are you want to give her busy work to keep her awake?! OMG, this is absurd!!!! OP, tell her NOT to sleep when she is supposed to be caring for your child. Tell her to engage him, read to him, talk to him or just look at him for 45 minutes. THIS IS HER JOB. You do not need to give her "seat work".

I am a nanny and I am truly appalled by this entire thread! The title should have been "How do I keep my nanny awake when caring for my child in public?"

[Anonymous]

Yeah, like sitting and thinking about new and exciting activities for a three-year-old is really going to keep Narcoleptic Nanny awake.

[Anonymous]

Okay, why is your DC taking so long to eat a meal? If he's at a stage that eating in public is possible, it shouldn't take more than 20 minutes.

Oh, and I completely agree with one of the PPs. There's no reason he shouldn't be able to listen to her read to him while he eats.

[Anonymous]

If she is napping I would want to see a picture. Ask your friend to take a pic next time she is asleep and then show it to Nanny. Tell her if you ever get a picture like that again she will be fired.

[Anonymous]

Wait, why is she not TALKING to your child? I'm not advocating encouraging your child to talk with their mouth full, but there is no reason why they can't have a conversation during meal time. My nanny, my husband, and I always talk to our kids during meals. Is this not how normal people handle meals?

[Anonymous]

this is the weirdest thread. As far as I can tell
1. you have a toddler
2. Who is easily distracted when eating
3. But despite being easily distracted, is in so many classes that he has to be fed meals in public (distracting places).
4. You have asked your nanny not to distract said toddler while eating.
5. Your neighbor saw her sitting beside toddler not interacting (you say this was asleep, but you don't really mean asleep rather you mean just sitting- aka really doing exactly what you had asked her to do.)
6. You now want to micromanage your nanny even more and give her jobs to do for you while sitting on a park bench???????