Burnt out

[Anonymous]

Nanny here,

A recent development at my employers is that the parents don't want the 3 year old to nap anymore because he doesn't fall asleep until 11 at night. It's absolutely exhausting taking care of a toddler without having some kind of break. I try to keep him entertained all day but he won't play with something unless I'm playing with him too. He also rarely watches tv, even when it's on. I normally work 10 to 11 hours a day, four days a week. I feel guilty that I need a break from him but I get so burnt out 7 hours into my shift. I also feel guilty about not getting as many house chores done since I did those during his nap. Do you have any suggestions or am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

So do quiet time. My nanny gets an hour break while my 3 year old and 5 year old play with toys, read books, do whatever in their rooms. She occasionally has to tell someone to stop doing something noisy, but mostly she naps or works on the class she's taking (I know this because I WAH, and I generally get my lunch at that time so as not to make a pest of myself).

We started doing quiet time when my oldest was about 15 months old. We were on vacation and he wouldn't nap. We put him in a child-proof space with some books and toys, and he played. That child was always good at playing alone. With a child who wasn't used to it, I would start with a short quiet time and work up to an hour.

We stopped my 3-year-old's naps for the same reason, and we had to do quiet time in a different room or she would fall asleep. She still does sometimes, but I figure that in that case she must be very sleepy.

[Anonymous]

Most kids stop napping at that age as they are preschoolers, not toddlers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So do quiet time. My nanny gets an hour break while my 3 year old and 5 year old play with toys, read books, do whatever in their rooms. She occasionally has to tell someone to stop doing something noisy, but mostly she naps or works on the class she's taking (I know this because I WAH, and I generally get my lunch at that time so as not to make a pest of myself).

We started doing quiet time when my oldest was about 15 months old. We were on vacation and he wouldn't nap. We put him in a child-proof space with some books and toys, and he played. That child was always good at playing alone. With a child who wasn't used to it, I would start with a short quiet time and work up to an hour.

We stopped my 3-year-old's naps for the same reason, and we had to do quiet time in a different room or she would fall asleep. She still does sometimes, but I figure that in that case she must be very sleepy.

Probably shouldn't have your nanny napping while your 3 and 5 year olds play alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So do quiet time. My nanny gets an hour break while my 3 year old and 5 year old play with toys, read books, do whatever in their rooms. She occasionally has to tell someone to stop doing something noisy, but mostly she naps or works on the class she's taking (I know this because I WAH, and I generally get my lunch at that time so as not to make a pest of myself).

We started doing quiet time when my oldest was about 15 months old. We were on vacation and he wouldn't nap. We put him in a child-proof space with some books and toys, and he played. That child was always good at playing alone. With a child who wasn't used to it, I would start with a short quiet time and work up to an hour.

We stopped my 3-year-old's naps for the same reason, and we had to do quiet time in a different room or she would fall asleep. She still does sometimes, but I figure that in that case she must be very sleepy.

Probably shouldn't have your nanny napping while your 3 and 5 year olds play alone

Spaces are familiar and child-proofed, they can get themselves to the bathroom, she's napping where she can hear them... I don't really see the problem.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]Nanny here,

A recent development at my employers is that the parents don't want the 3 year old to nap anymore because he doesn't fall asleep until 11 at night. It's absolutely exhausting taking care of a toddler without having some kind of break. I try to keep him entertained all day but he won't play with something unless I'm playing with him too. He also rarely watches tv, even when it's on. I normally work 10 to 11 hours a day, four days a week. I feel guilty that I need a break from him but I get so burnt out 7 hours into my shift. I also feel guilty about not getting as many house chores done since I did those during his nap. Do you have any suggestions or am I overreacting?[/quote]

I'm sorry, but this seems strange to me. Haven't you transitioned a young infant from random naps to scheduled longer naps, or an older infant from two naps to one, or a toddler/preschooler from nap to quiet time before? This is a normal transition, a division I can fall anywhere between 2 and 4. However, the more physical activity he fets, the more he will sleep.

Also, why is the television on? There are no benefits to children under 5 watching television, but there are several drawbacks. It's developmentally inappropriate to expect a 3 year old to watch even 30 minutes and pay attention to the whole episode, as it's a passive activity. Start transitioning to you sitting next to him folding his laundry while he pkays, and soon you should be able to sit on a chair to do the laundry or research craft projects for him.

[Anonymous]

Quiet time, rest time, whatever you want to call it. Tell him he has to play on his own (or do a project, books whatever) because you're on break. Straight up tell him you're taking a break and that's that. Do you think his parents entertain him for 11 hrs a day w/o some sort of break? Of course not!

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nanny here,

A recent development at my employers is that the parents don't want the 3 year old to nap anymore because he doesn't fall asleep until 11 at night. It's absolutely exhausting taking care of a toddler without having some kind of break. I try to keep him entertained all day but he won't play with something unless I'm playing with him too. He also rarely watches tv, even when it's on. I normally work 10 to 11 hours a day, four days a week. I feel guilty that I need a break from him but I get so burnt out 7 hours into my shift. I also feel guilty about not getting as many house chores done since I did those during his nap. Do you have any suggestions or am I overreacting?[/quote]

I'm sorry, but this seems strange to me. Haven't you transitioned a young infant from random naps to scheduled longer naps, or an older infant from two naps to one, or a toddler/preschooler from nap to quiet time before? This is a normal transition, a division I can fall anywhere between 2 and 4. However, the more physical activity he fets, the more he will sleep.

Also, why is the television on? There are no benefits to children under 5 watching television, but there are several drawbacks. It's developmentally inappropriate to expect a 3 year old to watch even 30 minutes and pay attention to the whole episode, as it's a passive activity. Start transitioning to you sitting next to him folding his laundry while he pkays, and soon you should be able to sit on a chair to do the laundry or research craft projects for him.[/quote]

You don't think a 3yo can sit and watch 30 mins of TV? Not to turn this into a TV debate but most 3 yo's will sit and watch a show aimed at preschoolers. There are some very good educational shows on these days that I wouldnt mind my child watching now and again. If my child were no longer napping I would be ok with him watching an hour of TV in the afternoon, gives everyone a chance to take a break.

[Anonymous]

This is the new normal and you have to get used to it. Mothers do.

[Anonymous]

Just because he doesn't nap doesn't mean he can't have quiet time in his room with some books and toys.
Also, it's weird he won't watch TV. Ive never seen that. When I am home alone all day with preschoolers we have two 30 minute sessions of TV so I can have a cup of tea in the kitchen alone and quiet.

What do the parents do at the weekend if they are home alone?

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nanny here,

A recent development at my employers is that the parents don't want the 3 year old to nap anymore because he doesn't fall asleep until 11 at night. It's absolutely exhausting taking care of a toddler without having some kind of break. I try to keep him entertained all day but he won't play with something unless I'm playing with him too. He also rarely watches tv, even when it's on. I normally work 10 to 11 hours a day, four days a week. I feel guilty that I need a break from him but I get so burnt out 7 hours into my shift. I also feel guilty about not getting as many house chores done since I did those during his nap. Do you have any suggestions or am I overreacting?[/quote]

I'm sorry, but this seems strange to me. Haven't you transitioned a young infant from random naps to scheduled longer naps, or an older infant from two naps to one, or a toddler/preschooler from nap to quiet time before? This is a normal transition, a division I can fall anywhere between 2 and 4. However, the more physical activity he fets, the more he will sleep.

Also, why is the television on? There are no benefits to children under 5 watching television, but there are several drawbacks. It's developmentally inappropriate to expect a 3 year old to watch even 30 minutes and pay attention to the whole episode, as it's a passive activity. Start transitioning to you sitting next to him folding his laundry while he pkays, and soon you should be able to sit on a chair to do the laundry or research craft projects for him.[/quote]

You don't think a 3yo can sit and watch 30 mins of TV? Not to turn this into a TV debate but most 3 yo's will sit and watch a show aimed at preschoolers. There are some very good educational shows on these days that I wouldnt mind my child watching now and again. If my child were no longer napping I would be ok with him watching an hour of TV in the afternoon, gives everyone a chance to take a break.[/quote]

Actually the AAP guidelines released in 2016 say 1 hour per day is fine for 2-5s. Ideally educational (Daniel Tiger is fine) and you should ideally sit with them. But not everything a care over does has to benefit the child. Sometimes it is more important to benefit the caregiver to ensure the care given the rest of the time is good quality.

Also, my 3 year old will sit and watch a whole of a movie alone. Grandpa let her do this with Frozen over the holidays. Grandpa is not a good caregiver!

[Anonymous]

can you bundle him up in the stroller and go for a long walk?

[Anonymous]

how much outdoor exercise is he getting? Can you take him to a fenced in playground? I would imagine more physical activity would help with his sleeping, and his neediness. 3 year olds can usually play by themselves on a playground.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]Nanny here,

A recent development at my employers is that the parents don't want the 3 year old to nap anymore because he doesn't fall asleep until 11 at night. It's absolutely exhausting taking care of a toddler without having some kind of break. I try to keep him entertained all day but he won't play with something unless I'm playing with him too. He also rarely watches tv, even when it's on. I normally work 10 to 11 hours a day, four days a week. I feel guilty that I need a break from him but I get so burnt out 7 hours into my shift. I also feel guilty about not getting as many house chores done since I did those during his nap. Do you have any suggestions or am I overreacting?[/quote]

Daniel Tiger, Peppa Pig, .....

[Anonymous]

This is the job of caring for a child past infancy OP.