Nanny Expecting

[Anonymous]

Hi all! We recently found out that our nanny is expecting a baby. We are absolutely thrilled for her, but as to be expected, we are trying to figure out what this means for our childcare situation. If I am being honest, I would really love to welcome the nanny back after she takes some maternity leave but the other family (part of a share) and my husband and I are concerned about multiple things.

1) We cannot afford to pay her while she is on leave as we will be covering the cost of a temporary caregiver. As much as I wish I could help out with that, we just cannot do it.
2) If she wishes to bring the baby to the share and we agree, how much attention will go towards her newborn versus the two toddlers?
3) We pay her fairly now and if attention is lost for the toddlers because of the need to care for her newborn, does that affect how much we should be paying each week?

I don't want it to seem like I am being harsh by thinking of these things but it is a concern for both families in the share. We don't want to lose our nanny but I am not sure what to do.

Anyone else experience this? If so, any advice? What am I not considering? I plan to have a heart-to-heart with our nanny soon where we can determine the wants from both sides.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Have you done a search on this forum?
Lots of families have dealt with your situation.

[Anonymous]

This isn't an appropriate question to ask here because only you know of your unique situation and what works for you. Also the nanny may or may not be up for what you think will work. For me I think managing two toddlers and a baby in a nannying situation is near impossible because toddlers need stimulation and babies need naps.

[Anonymous]

Talk to your nanny. She may be open to coming back, in which case you can start figuring some of this out. On the other hand, she may have no intention of returning. Many nannies stay home and do childcare out of their homes while their children are young, or they bring their child with them while caring for a child of similar age. Two toddlers as NKs and her own newborn is very, very different!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your nanny. She may be open to coming back, in which case you can start figuring some of this out. On the other hand, she may have no intention of returning. Many nannies stay home and do childcare out of their homes while their children are young, or they bring their child with them while caring for a child of similar age. Two toddlers as NKs and her own newborn is very, very different!

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

ok this has happened to me.. ask your nanny if she would love to come back? ask her what her plans for her baby? she may have a mother that would help her, or a mother inlaw.. Like for me my mother inlaw is ready to come help me if I have another child. when I had my first, I took off from work for 2 months, and went right back to work. I had family help. Didnt have to take off. Plus my husband worked nights.

[Anonymous]

I think you definitely have to discuss this with your nail. Another thing to consider is whether she would be interested in continuing to work for just your family, at less than current rate, but with the ability to bring her child with her. You are right that most of the time nannies bring their charge charge a reduced rate. And caring for two toddlers and a newborn is a lot. She may be happy to work with just your one child and her newborn, and in that case juggling the two ages is going to be much easier. How much you would have to pay would depend on whether you were comfortable with her regularly sacrificing your child's needs for her baby (such as no outings during naptime) in which case it would be more a kin to doing a two child share where one of the children happens to be her own child, or whether you would like her to focus primarily on your child (in which case her baby might spend a lot of time napping in carriers or strollers and being fed on the go), in which case it would be more like hiring a sole nanny with a reduced rate by a few dollars for the benefit of not having to hire separate childcare for her own child. I will say that either way you should not explore this option without talking to her and it will definitely not work at all if she has not had previous experience with juggling charges of different ages.

[Anonymous]

A share is a different beast from a nanny of one child. You and the other family need to talk to her very soon to let her know you can't swing any paid leave, let her know how much leave you're willing to hold her job for, and ask her what she thought would happen when she returns.

If either of you is firmly against her bringing her child (I would be in the long term, but not for the first few months if baby wasn't colicky), you need to tell her that, too.