would you fire your nanny?

[Anonymous]

Nanny is frequently on the phone during day with charge. On speakerphone while "playing" with my child or doing other household tasks. Have asked her a couple times to limit calls to emergencies or let us know if there's an emergency which warrants a need for a call, and also to only be on phone calls (if needed) when child is napping.

Nanny is on phone and then hangs up and starts interacting with child once we come home.

Really like Nanny otherwise - she genuinely cares about child and child loves her.

But, is the phone thing (and kind of lying about being on the phone when confronted) cause for dismissal? It breaks my heart to think that my child would miss her otherwise loving Nanny. Not to mention the headache of finding another Nanny, and trusting a new one too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny is frequently on the phone during day with charge. On speakerphone while "playing" with my child or doing other household tasks. Have asked her a couple times to limit calls to emergencies or let us know if there's an emergency which warrants a need for a call, and also to only be on phone calls (if needed) when child is napping.

Nanny is on phone and then hangs up and starts interacting with child once we come home.

Really like Nanny otherwise - she genuinely cares about child and child loves her.

But, is the phone thing (and kind of lying about being on the phone when confronted) cause for dismissal? It breaks my heart to think that my child would miss her otherwise loving Nanny. Not to mention the headache of finding another Nanny, and trusting a new one too!

YES. It's been my experience, sadly, that where there's smoke, there's fire. If nanny is willing to lie (or bend the truth) to you about one thing, she's willing to do so about other things. Having said that... how do you know that the nanny is on the phone throughout the day? Have you seen it on the nanny cam on a consistent basis? Or are you basing this on just a couple incidents? If you have verified through regular observation that nanny is on the phone a lot, then I would sit down with her and give her a black and white rule. Something like "10 minutes maximum while child is awake and ONLY for emergency." Tell her if she breaks your rule, she is jeopardizing her job. If that still doesn't do the trick, I would let her go, honestly, because if she's willing to disrespect you and your reasonable rules in one way, what I said before about smoke & fire...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny is frequently on the phone during day with charge. On speakerphone while "playing" with my child or doing other household tasks. Have asked her a couple times to limit calls to emergencies or let us know if there's an emergency which warrants a need for a call, and also to only be on phone calls (if needed) when child is napping.

Nanny is on phone and then hangs up and starts interacting with child once we come home.

Really like Nanny otherwise - she genuinely cares about child and child loves her.

But, is the phone thing (and kind of lying about being on the phone when confronted) cause for dismissal? It breaks my heart to think that my child would miss her otherwise loving Nanny. Not to mention the headache of finding another Nanny, and trusting a new one too!

YES. It's been my experience, sadly, that where there's smoke, there's fire. If nanny is willing to lie (or bend the truth) to you about one thing, she's willing to do so about other things. Having said that... how do you know that the nanny is on the phone throughout the day? Have you seen it on the nanny cam on a consistent basis? Or are you basing this on just a couple incidents? If you have verified through regular observation that nanny is on the phone a lot, then I would sit down with her and give her a black and white rule. Something like "10 minutes maximum while child is awake and ONLY for emergency." Tell her if she breaks your rule, she is jeopardizing her job. If that still doesn't do the trick, I would let her go, honestly, because if she's willing to disrespect you and your reasonable rules in one way, what I said before about smoke & fire...

OP: Yes, we have seen it on the camera (which she knows we have). More than one occasion, and this is the second time we have said something. The first time she seemed genuinely upset and stopped for awhile - weeks. Recently seen it again and this time she seemed more defensive about it. Think we are pretty reasonable employers otherwise - give lots of random days off, vacation (paid and unpaid), and guaranteed pay with overtime. Pay for gas money too and petty cash.

I hate this because I do really like Nanny otherwise! But it makes me so sad to have child just playing next to Nanny while Nanny talks to someone else on phone...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny is frequently on the phone during day with charge. On speakerphone while "playing" with my child or doing other household tasks. Have asked her a couple times to limit calls to emergencies or let us know if there's an emergency which warrants a need for a call, and also to only be on phone calls (if needed) when child is napping.

Nanny is on phone and then hangs up and starts interacting with child once we come home.

Really like Nanny otherwise - she genuinely cares about child and child loves her.

But, is the phone thing (and kind of lying about being on the phone when confronted) cause for dismissal? It breaks my heart to think that my child would miss her otherwise loving Nanny. Not to mention the headache of finding another Nanny, and trusting a new one too!

A couple of different things here:

Nanny is either a nanny or a nanny/housekeeper. If she's doing housekeeping while your child is asleep, there's no reason she shouldn't use her phone. If the child is awake, she shouldn't be doing housekeeping. Also, even if she's not doing housekeeping during naptime, there's no reason she couldn't use her phone, not just as needed.

How old is your child? Depending on the age, the child would benefit from a certain amount of supervised (ie. No phone) time to play by him/herself.

Lying is not acceptable, and definitely grounds for termination.

[Anonymous]

Maybe have a stern talk with her and put her on probation? If you really like her I would give another chance but with a strong warning. Like if I see this again you are gone immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny is frequently on the phone during day with charge. On speakerphone while "playing" with my child or doing other household tasks. Have asked her a couple times to limit calls to emergencies or let us know if there's an emergency which warrants a need for a call, and also to only be on phone calls (if needed) when child is napping.

Nanny is on phone and then hangs up and starts interacting with child once we come home.

Really like Nanny otherwise - she genuinely cares about child and child loves her.

But, is the phone thing (and kind of lying about being on the phone when confronted) cause for dismissal? It breaks my heart to think that my child would miss her otherwise loving Nanny. Not to mention the headache of finding another Nanny, and trusting a new one too!

A couple of different things here:

Nanny is either a nanny or a nanny/housekeeper. If she's doing housekeeping while your child is asleep, there's no reason she shouldn't use her phone. If the child is awake, she shouldn't be doing housekeeping. Also, even if she's not doing housekeeping during naptime, there's no reason she couldn't use her phone, not just as needed.

How old is your child? Depending on the age, the child would benefit from a certain amount of supervised (ie. No phone) time to play by him/herself.

Lying is not acceptable, and definitely grounds for termination.

OP: I meant like doing child dishes/bottles/laundry/sweeping floor type household things.

I'm definitely fine w independent play - we do that a lot too. And totally understand you can't be in kid face and entertain 24/7 too (nor should you).

I can't talk on the phone for hours at work, and don't think it's appropriate Nanny does too.

[Anonymous]

The phone use with nannies and, quite frankly, mothers is out of control. Tell your nanny that her phone use is a firing offense and you have had enough. Make sure you check up on her at the park, library, etc. as that is where I see most nannies and mothers glued to their phones.

We have a wonderful older nanny who takes pics of DD with her phone and that is pretty much it. She does spend her entire lunch break with her phone (so do I when I'm at work) and seems to catch up on what she needs to take care of then.

[Anonymous]

Do you see her using it during the day...can you call her in that moment and ask her to get off the phone? Or is it something you see later on after you're home and reviewing the cameras then? If the former, that's what I'd do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny is frequently on the phone during day with charge. On speakerphone while "playing" with my child or doing other household tasks. Have asked her a couple times to limit calls to emergencies or let us know if there's an emergency which warrants a need for a call, and also to only be on phone calls (if needed) when child is napping.

Nanny is on phone and then hangs up and starts interacting with child once we come home.

Really like Nanny otherwise - she genuinely cares about child and child loves her.

But, is the phone thing (and kind of lying about being on the phone when confronted) cause for dismissal? It breaks my heart to think that my child would miss her otherwise loving Nanny. Not to mention the headache of finding another Nanny, and trusting a new one too!

Because you ARE a perfect mother and you are NEVER on the phone when you are with your child you are considering firing your nanny. Wake up Alice and land on the real world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny is frequently on the phone during day with charge. On speakerphone while "playing" with my child or doing other household tasks. Have asked her a couple times to limit calls to emergencies or let us know if there's an emergency which warrants a need for a call, and also to only be on phone calls (if needed) when child is napping.

Nanny is on phone and then hangs up and starts interacting with child once we come home.

Really like Nanny otherwise - she genuinely cares about child and child loves her.

But, is the phone thing (and kind of lying about being on the phone when confronted) cause for dismissal? It breaks my heart to think that my child would miss her otherwise loving Nanny. Not to mention the headache of finding another Nanny, and trusting a new one too!

Because you ARE a perfect mother and you are NEVER on the phone when you are with your child you are considering firing your nanny. Wake up Alice and land on the real world.

Oh, please. Nannies are paid employees. It's totally okay for MB to use her phone in front of child and ask nanny not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny is frequently on the phone during day with charge. On speakerphone while "playing" with my child or doing other household tasks. Have asked her a couple times to limit calls to emergencies or let us know if there's an emergency which warrants a need for a call, and also to only be on phone calls (if needed) when child is napping.

Nanny is on phone and then hangs up and starts interacting with child once we come home.

Really like Nanny otherwise - she genuinely cares about child and child loves her.

But, is the phone thing (and kind of lying about being on the phone when confronted) cause for dismissal? It breaks my heart to think that my child would miss her otherwise loving Nanny. Not to mention the headache of finding another Nanny, and trusting a new one too!

Because you ARE a perfect mother and you are NEVER on the phone when you are with your child you are considering firing your nanny. Wake up Alice and land on the real world.

Grow up, Dear. Your BOSS can do many things that you cannot do in any occupation in any field. This is the real world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny is frequently on the phone during day with charge. On speakerphone while "playing" with my child or doing other household tasks. Have asked her a couple times to limit calls to emergencies or let us know if there's an emergency which warrants a need for a call, and also to only be on phone calls (if needed) when child is napping.

Nanny is on phone and then hangs up and starts interacting with child once we come home.

Really like Nanny otherwise - she genuinely cares about child and child loves her.

But, is the phone thing (and kind of lying about being on the phone when confronted) cause for dismissal? It breaks my heart to think that my child would miss her otherwise loving Nanny. Not to mention the headache of finding another Nanny, and trusting a new one too!

A couple of different things here:

Nanny is either a nanny or a nanny/housekeeper. If she's doing housekeeping while your child is asleep, there's no reason she shouldn't use her phone. If the child is awake, she shouldn't be doing housekeeping. Also, even if she's not doing housekeeping during naptime, there's no reason she couldn't use her phone, not just as needed.

How old is your child? Depending on the age, the child would benefit from a certain amount of supervised (ie. No phone) time to play by him/herself.

Lying is not acceptable, and definitely grounds for termination.

OP: I meant like doing child dishes/bottles/laundry/sweeping floor type household things.

I'm definitely fine w independent play - we do that a lot too. And totally understand you can't be in kid face and entertain 24/7 too (nor should you).

I can't talk on the phone for hours at work, and don't think it's appropriate Nanny does too.

I'm still confused. Why should she not use her phone (not yours) during your child's nap? I agree with limiting or not allowing it during times your child is awake. But naptime for nanny is equivalent to your lunch and break at work... you know, the federally - mandated lunch and break time you get, but nanny doesn't as she is still required to supervise your sleeping child and deal with issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny is frequently on the phone during day with charge. On speakerphone while "playing" with my child or doing other household tasks. Have asked her a couple times to limit calls to emergencies or let us know if there's an emergency which warrants a need for a call, and also to only be on phone calls (if needed) when child is napping.

Nanny is on phone and then hangs up and starts interacting with child once we come home.

Really like Nanny otherwise - she genuinely cares about child and child loves her.

But, is the phone thing (and kind of lying about being on the phone when confronted) cause for dismissal? It breaks my heart to think that my child would miss her otherwise loving Nanny. Not to mention the headache of finding another Nanny, and trusting a new one too!

A couple of different things here:

Nanny is either a nanny or a nanny/housekeeper. If she's doing housekeeping while your child is asleep, there's no reason she shouldn't use her phone. If the child is awake, she shouldn't be doing housekeeping. Also, even if she's not doing housekeeping during naptime, there's no reason she couldn't use her phone, not just as needed.

How old is your child? Depending on the age, the child would benefit from a certain amount of supervised (ie. No phone) time to play by him/herself.

Lying is not acceptable, and definitely grounds for termination.

OP: I meant like doing child dishes/bottles/laundry/sweeping floor type household things.

I'm definitely fine w independent play - we do that a lot too. And totally understand you can't be in kid face and entertain 24/7 too (nor should you).

I can't talk on the phone for hours at work, and don't think it's appropriate Nanny does too.

I'm still confused. Why should she not use her phone (not yours) during your child's nap? I agree with limiting or not allowing it during times your child is awake. But naptime for nanny is equivalent to your lunch and break at work... you know, the federally - mandated lunch and break time you get, but nanny doesn't as she is still required to supervise your sleeping child and deal with issues.

OP: She can use phone during naps and other breaks during day, I don't mind that. It was more the talking on phone while half interacting with child, for over an hour. I'm fine with short calls - 5 min, 15 min even, whatever. And definitely OK when child is asleep. I think we are pretty flexible and reasonable in that sense.

[Anonymous]

OP are you sure your nanny is only using her phone for social media, talking playing games etc.. I ask that because many nannies use their phone to keep a schedule, check time and perhaps look up kid stuff, crafts, or outings. It does sound like your nanny is not respecting your concerns and that should be enough to making better use of time. Also it is a concern if the nanny is also bending the truth ( IMO, lying is lying) how can you trust someone who does this and yes enough to let her go especially if you have already addressed this.

[Anonymous]

Talking on the phone for more than 5 min when child is awake is a no no. I get having to maybe make a call and schedule something (should be done during naps though). If I caught my nanny talking for an hour when she's supposed to watch or play with the child i would give her one warning and fire the next time this happened. If she lied about hen that's it, done. If I can't trust my caregiver with my child I don't want that caregiver with my child.