What do we do about our regular HS sitters after having a baby? When can we start using them?

[Anonymous]

We have a 4.5 yo and a 3 month old and basically stopped using the HS sitters after the baby was born. I'm wondering two things: when we can have them start babysitting both kids, and also if it's not for a while, should we use them in the meantime for more of mother's helper type stuff (paid at the same rate as real babysitting of course) just to keep us on our radar?

When our oldest was a baby, we first started leaving her with two sitters we trusted around 18 weeks, but they weren't high school kids.. so not sure what is normal.

Also, would it matter if we went out one night after the kids were asleep? Is that easier?

[Anonymous]

I would never be comfortable leaving an infant with a high school kid. Never.

[Anonymous]

I would not be comfortable leaving a baby with a teen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never be comfortable leaving an infant with a high school kid. Never.

So that's my question. At what age is it ok? 1? 2?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never be comfortable leaving an infant with a high school kid. Never.

So that's my question. At what age is it ok? 1? 2?

PP A child that can talk and communicate needs 2.5 for my youngest 3.5 for my oldest

[Anonymous]

I would walk over broken glass barefoot 100x over before leaving my infant with an inexperienced teen.
I know as a teen, I would have been an awful & irresponsible caregiver.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with most posters. You know your high school sitters better than us OP. I could handle an infant at that age no problem, because I'd been around them my whole life and was expected to pitch in.

I think you should treat them like mothers helpers for now. Have them come over while you'll be there the whole time, doing other things, and gradually give them more responsibility as you and they are comfortable. Make sure your house is safe and baby proofed, and start leaving them alone when you're comfortable that they can handle it. Maybe once your infant is sleeping through the night reliably?

[Anonymous]

It's up to you OP, and you need to decide for yourself based on your comfort level w/ the specific people and the temperament/health/schedule.

I could definitely see leaving an infant with a high-schooler, and I could imagine a particularly good high schooler being able to handle a baby and a 4/5 year old. But that's me.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with most of these posters. You know these kids -- are they responsible? Nothing magically happens at 18 or 20 to make someone good with babies. I know plenty of teen girls who would do great with an infant.

In particular, if you're talking about 16 and older ... I don't see a problem.

One of my favorite sitters is 16 -- she's better than most of the adults I know, and I would trust her even with a newborn and other children. Another teen sitter of ours is less reliable -- often shows up tired and "off his game." I'd only leave him with older children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would walk over broken glass barefoot 100x over before leaving my infant with an inexperienced teen.
I know as a teen, I would have been an awful & irresponsible caregiver.

By the time I was 15 I'd been babysitting for three years and was perfectly comfortable with any baby over six months. I was freaked out by a lack of neck control, but once they hit six months, I was comfortable and totally capable.

[Anonymous]

OP here- I would never leave either of my kids with someone who I didn't trust 1000%. The girls I use are EXTREMELY responsible. That said, I feel like 3 months may be too early, so I am just trying to figure out the right time.

[Anonymous]

When I was 13 I was on the church babysitting list and people I've never met left me with their colicky 4 week old for 6 hours. I was really overwhelmed and spent much of that time on the phone with my mom for advice, but the kid was fine. In retrospect that seems astonishingly lax on their part, but given how much the kid screamed it might have been "inexperienced babysitter or just start shaking him," and they made the right choice.

My point is, the trend seems to have swung (especially in this area) to must have Master's in ECE and 32 years experience for even the most minor and occasional childcare, but plenty of teenagers still babysit in the world, and there's not a lot of news reports about them forgetting the kid in the tub. You know these particular high schoolers personally, so you can judge their ability and level of responsibility. You can also (this is what I'd do) directly ask if they feel comfortable watching a 6 month old and a 3 year old, making it clear that if they say no it doesn't mean you're taking them off the list for future gigs. Make sure they know they can call you and you'll cut your night short if it's too much.

[Anonymous]

You need to know the sitter. Some can be better than some parents, believe it or not.