If an MB/DB never thanks you or acknowledges a favor you do for them every week...

[Anonymous]

... is that a sign that you should shop?

I was the nanny for a little girl from birth until she started school. When she started school, I took a job as a preschool music teacher where I have Fridays off so I volunteered to pick her up from school on Fridays and take care of her until her parents get home from work (keeping her out of aftercare). I do not get paid for it, of course and I have been doing it for almost a year. The parents were never, ever good about thanking me or complimenting me when I was their child's nanny - they are simply not a polite couple. I do love their daughter and enjoy our afternoon together for the most part.

I am going away this week for Christmas, so last Friday was our last day together until next year. I left her Christmas gift under the Christmas tree and the parents saw it and commented on how beautifully it was wrapped. Then I left. Parents wished me a Merry Christmas and that was it... No card, no gift, no mention of the last year of me doing them this favor. Nothing.

Is this a sign that they want me to stop and don't know how to tell me?

[Anonymous]

I don't think they want you to stop but they don't appreciate you.
I guess you have to decide whether it is worth it or not. Sad when you do so much for them and that you genuinely care for their child. Some MB/DB's don't know how lucky they are.

[Anonymous]

Cross posted: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/606411.page

[Anonymous]

I am constantly amazed by how stunningly rude and unappreciative some parents are. As a grandmother, I put the blame on my generation for raising this current generation of rude, entitled, ignorant young parents.

I am certain this piggish couple does not want you to stop caring for their daughter and, more importantly, the child does not want you to stop. You are giving that little girl an amazing gift of security and trust in love to continue as a constant in her life. She has depended on you and loved you since birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cross posted: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/606411.page

Is that a problem/against DCUM rules?

[Anonymous]

Why are you doing it if you're not paid? Once or twice sure but not every week. They are using you.

[Anonymous]

I would guess that the parents do not want you to stop.

[Anonymous]

Get another charity, op, where you're appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here and posts like this drive me crazy. You worked with them long enough that you know they are at best not prone to expressing gratitude and at worst ungrateful and entitled. You then signed on to watch their child weekly, free of charge. You were apparently hoping that this generosity would magically change them by what? Making their hearts grow three sizes? You know who they are. Now decide who YOU are.

Are you willing to do this indefinitrly with not acknowledgement or compensation other than the joy of spending time with this child or are you not willing to do that? If the former, proceed with everything but the self-pity. If the latter, explain that the situation no longer works for you and that in the future you will_______. Be a big girl and use your words.

[Anonymous]

If they wanted you to stop they'd tell you she is unavailable on your day - they've signed her up for a class or something. I'm sure they're happy to have free childcare one day a week from you.

It's a separate topic why you would do this on a weekly basis though. You said you love the kid. That's all well and good but do you love her enough to provide free labor?

If you don't want to spend time with her each week, tell the parents you won't be able to do it anymore. That's all. You're overthinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here and posts like this drive me crazy. You worked with them long enough that you know they are at best not prone to expressing gratitude and at worst ungrateful and entitled. You then signed on to watch their child weekly, free of charge. You were apparently hoping that this generosity would magically change them by what? Making their hearts grow three sizes? You know who they are. Now decide who YOU are.

Are you willing to do this indefinitrly with not acknowledgement or compensation other than the joy of spending time with this child or are you not willing to do that? If the former, proceed with everything but the self-pity. If the latter, explain that the situation no longer works for you and that in the future you will_______. Be a big girl and use your words.

Make an attempt at reading comprehension before you go crazy, PP. OP just wants to know if the parents ingratitude is a sign they don't want her to care for their kid. I don't think OP is suffering from any complexes

I would be will to bet that the parents still want you to take care of their kid. Don't take their assholeness as a sign of anything more than the obvious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am constantly amazed by how stunningly rude and unappreciative some parents are. As a grandmother, I put the blame on my generation for raising this current generation of rude, entitled, ignorant young parents.

I am certain this piggish couple does not want you to stop caring for their daughter and, more importantly, the child does not want you to stop. You are giving that little girl an amazing gift of security and trust in love to continue as a constant in her life. She has depended on you and loved you since birth.

Me, too.

[Anonymous]

Yes, stop. This is more than just a nanny issue. Anytime anyone is not appreciative of your actions (like a simple "thank you") then it's time to move on. They are betting on your love for the daughter to keep you on the hook. They will find other accommodations, the girl will be fine.

[Anonymous]

MB here, and I don't know that I would see this as you doing me a favor and feel like I owed you something at Christmas other than a Merry Christmas. You asked them to do this, right? Not the other way around?
If I really felt like I needed you there, I would put something formal into writing and pay you. I am going to guess that they still pay for aftercare just in case you decide not to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here, and I don't know that I would see this as you doing me a favor and feel like I owed you something at Christmas other than a Merry Christmas. You asked them to do this, right? Not the other way around?
If I really felt like I needed you there, I would put something formal into writing and pay you. I am going to guess that they still pay for aftercare just in case you decide not to come.

Sounds like you and this teacher's former MB would get along famously. You are no doubt as rude as she is. Common decency dictates a thank you once a year at the very least and a card saying that you appreciate her dedication to her child.