I'm a Neat Freak, My Nanny is a Bit of a Slob...
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Anonymous
| So, I have a wonderful nanny for my 9 month old daughter and 3.5 year old when she's not in school. She's great. She's great with both kids, and both kids adore her. She's actually my second nanny because my first nanny got sick and had to undergo treatment. Anyway. I like to keep my house tidy - it's not a particularly large house, and without some semblance of order, it gets messy quickly and it stresses me out. Every evening I come home from work, I find myself spending my first 15 minutes just tidying up after the nanny. For example, putting trash in the trash can (as opposed to left on counters or the table or the floor), putting dishes in the sink, wiping down sticky surfaces, etc. This frustrates me - this is not what I want to see and do when I get home from a long day and long commute. In my nanny contract, I specifically included that cleaning up after the kids would be part of the job. I have delicately reiterated these points. But I feel like she either continues to forget or just doesn't prioritize that. What should I do? |
Anonymous
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She absolutely should be doing these things already, but you clearly need to have another talk and maybe give her a specific list of things you'd like done.
"Jane, I just wanted to ask you something before you go. Would you mind cleaning up after the kids a bit more? For example put the dishes in the dishwasher, wipe the counters and put the trash in the trash can. I feel like I get so little time with the kids as it is, and I really treasure every moment, so every bit of help is much appreciated. It's not a criticism of you at all, it's just that I'm a bit of a neat freak on top of everything. Thank you so much for understanding, and thank you for always caring for our kids with such love and devotion", or something. |
Anonymous
| Talk to your nanny and explain the importance of picking up for herself and the children. "Leave the campsite as you found it". |
Anonymous
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Our current nanny is also not naturally neat. We had a 1-month and then 6-month review her first year. She also asked for feedback a few times. I waited until the formal reviews to bring up the cleaning, because I didn't want to seem like I was harping on it, and I wanted to have the opportunity to tell her all the good things first.
We had similar issues -- just not picking up, forgetting to rinse dishes, not putting supplies away ... I just told her both times we talked about it that I understood that it was challenging with small children, but that I needed her to do it. I also told her that it was my strong preference that she get the children involved in picking up after themselves in age-appropriate ways, but that it was up to her whether she did that or cleaned up during nap time. Over time, she has gotten better and better about this as she's developed her own routines. I mentioned it briefly at her 1-month (s |
Anonymous
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Reiterate the points less delicately. Be blunt.
"Jana, please take 15 minutes at the end of the day to clean up - throw out the trash, wipe counters so they're not sticky but clean, put things back where they go, or clean throughout the day as you go. I am going to find someone else who can do this if you don't, which will break my heart. |
Anonymous
| Maybe let her know that she can let preschooler watch 15 min of tv while she does a clean sweep of the house. |
Anonymous
What??? To do these things: "For example, putting trash in the trash can (as opposed to left on counters or the table or the floor), putting dishes in the sink, wiping down sticky surfaces, etc." For heaven's sake, at the very least she should be modeling cleaning up after yourself to the 3.5-year-old. This is not a lot of work. |
Anonymous
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I am a nanny. I would find this very annoying. Insulting even. You are paying her to look after the children and the home. She is your staff, you are not hers.
Heck, I do the best I can to try and teach the kids to clean up after themselves. I would have a blunt talk with her. |
Anonymous
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Do you think she's overly focused on the children?
Is the space completely child-proofed? Is it worth having to hire a new nanny? Can you do the tidy-up before the nanny goes home? Even pay her for the extra 15 min? |
Anonymous
I am a nanny and I do just fine cleaning up after two toddlers and multitasking, but not everyone does. Sounds to me like the nanny just isn't a naturally tidy or organized person. That means OP has a choice: get a new nanny with that inherant personality trait or come up with a system that works for this person. If the problem is that she can't multitask todying up with supervising two kids, then using a few minutes of tv time might give her the time to focus solely on the tidying. |
Anonymous
I think this is a terrible way to put it. Your boss doesn't have to pretend to a mental disorder to ask you to do your job. Sure, say it kindly, but make it clear that it's a basic expectation, not "helping you out." And it is a criticism. |
Anonymous
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Good god. Which do you want a maid of nanny who loves your children. Frankly. You sound OCD.
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Anonymous
She wants her to put her dishes in the sink. Not even wash them. And wipe up sticky stuff. You sound like a slob who assumes other people will clean up for her. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Thanks for the replies. This is helpful; especially in knowing that what I am looking for is not out of line with market expectations. I'm going to have a conversation with her. |
Anonymous
| Yep, you're problem lies with "delicately". Be direct and clear with your expectations and couch that in between positive feedback about all the many terrific things you appreciate. |