Live-in Nanny & Overnight Guest.
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Anonymous
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Our nanny of 6.5 years has asked if we would be okay with her boyfriend spending the night this weekend and possibly in the future.
I don't know much about her personal life( she keeps private thing private for the most part), but I do believe this to be the first serious relationship she has had since she's been with us and I do know that they've been together for some time, so it's not a random guy. She said she would understand if we said no. The truth is we haven't really given much thought to the scenario. The only possible issue DH & I though of is she doesn't have her own space like an in-law apartment. She's got a room but it's more like a master suite not totally apart from the house. You have to go in & out of the main part of the house so the kids would know he was there. The concern is the oldest who is a young teen so we were concerned about the message we would be sending. The other piece is part of the reason she started with us is because she wanted & needed to live in. With her background now I know she could find another family and live out. I know part of the reason she's still with us because she likes us & we love her, nd don't want tis to be a thing that causes her to want to move on. So what do we do here? Any btdt advice to share? |
Anonymous
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I don't know how old she was when she started with you, but she has to be old enough to need to live like an adult by now. If you don't want the boyfriend coming and going, it's time to talk to her about her plans for the future and spreading her wings.
Maybe it's time to decide on an end date for this arrangement. |
Anonymous
| I wouldn't be comfortable with overnight stays and would have to say no. She may need to become a live-out if they decide to live together. |
Anonymous
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Assuming she is in her 20's would you be ok with your daughter having a long term boyfriend spend the night now and again at that age?
I would so I would be ok with the Nanny doing it. You know its not going to be a case of ramdom guys coming and going so let her have him stay over sometimes assuming you have met him. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Personally I would be ok with this situation. If someone I have been sharing space with for 6.5 years wants to bring home a reasonably long-term SO, I'm not going to deny them that.
If you really are uncomfortable, this particular arrangement may have run its course... |
Anonymous
| I would say no in part because I don't need anymore people in my house (I do have a live in and we are already crowded). |
Anonymous
This is the approach we have decided to take she's been in our lives nearly 7 years, we trust her with our kids' lives , she's responsible, and never given us a true reason to worry. We're giving this a try he's supposed to come over tomorrow so we will see. I do think pps are right that this is the beginning of the end of having her as a live-in which will be bittersweet for us. |
Anonymous
Slaves do not get to have a life of their own. |
Anonymous
Slaves are not paid either. |
Anonymous
She probably is only paid Minimum Wage--modern day slavery. |
Anonymous
Wrong again. |
Anonymous
| If she is a live in then this is also her home and she should be allowed overnight guest privileges. |
Anonymous
And she should be allowed to decorate the room to her liking and have the occasional bbq with her friends. |
Anonymous
Yes, she should because it is also her home. If you cannot live with this then do not hire a live in. |