What to do? Nanny lost car key - expensive to replace

[Anonymous]

Our nanny lost the key to our car, which is probably $300 to replace (your standard remote that needs reprogramming). She says she locked the car, brought the key into the house, and put it on the counter, so she says one of the kids may have done something with it. The car was locked in the driveway, so our assumption is the key is on the property unless she took it with her. We asked her to look, and it feels like she looked halfheartedly - I saw her poke through some drawers but not really search. This weekend DH and I searched the garbage, the entire front lawn (DH raked), and all of the kids stuff, although we think they are unlikely to be the culprits because when they grab car keys it is only to beep the horn, so the keys never travel far. Our guess is nanny has it in her purse or coat or it fell out of her pocket into her car or home.

Financially I could afford to let this go without a huge amount of heartache (we aren't loaded but we can manage this), but honestly I constantly feel like nanny is more cavalier with my money than I am (for ex not driving the extra 5 minutes to save $1.20/gallon on gas for our car that she drives, even when the kids are in school; always managing to buy the $7/dozen eggs even when I write down the specific brand I want which is $3; buying 3lbs of grapes rather than taking some out of the bag and buying 1lb, even though most of them end up rotting - and I ask her not to do this). So when she isn't really looking very hard, and we think the key MUST be in a limited area since we know it got as far as our driveway, I am really miffed to have to shell out $300. I wouldn't dock her pay, but is it appropriate to tell her if she doesn't find it in the next couple days, we will take some of it out of her end of year discretionary bonus (which has always been 1 week salary)? Or should I just eat it?

[Anonymous]

You should eat the cost.

Separately, you should have a talk with her about your feeling that she's cavalier with your money and give her the examples you gave us. Tell her that if that does not change you will be thinking of it come holiday bonus time.

[Anonymous]

That would really annoy me, OP. My nanny has accidentally broken a number of things but she always feels bad and asks to pay for it. I never have taken her up on it because I know she isn't cavalier about it, just kind of a klutz.

[Anonymous]

Here's the thing: I bet you she's a bit cavalier with her own money, as well. But that can be hard to know if you don't work in her home.

[Anonymous]

You need to pay for a replacement key. If you would like to create some sort of policy going forward it sounds like you have valid justifications. I would have discussion about it first. Then after the discussion provide her with a written document which is also copied to her contract. It's important to talk first because you need to hear her perspective without being closed to suggestions. For example, she may wish to leave the key in your hand at the end of each day rather then carry it overnight.

[Anonymous]

It sucks but you need to pay for a new key.

[Anonymous]

Pay for the key and look for a replcement nanny. Then give her notice and viola your problem is solved...

Or don't let her shop or fI'll your tank.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you have to just deal w/ the replacement key costs. And I totally understand and agree with how you're feeling overall.

I would have a direct conversation with her, citing the examples you give, about how you feel she is not being as careful/frugal with your money as you are, and as you would like her to be.

I wouldn't tie to an annual bonus as a threat. But I would say that your expectation is that she will buy the brands you request, spend your money carfefully - in the manner you specify, etc... and that these expectations are part of the job. I think it's also ok to say that being frugal and carefuly with money is what allows your family to live the way it does - including employing a nanny. It's ok to say that how your money is spent is as important to your evaluation of her performance as the quality of the food you prepare for the kids or the routine maintenance of their playspaces (or some appropriate example.)

Then, at the time when you would normally evaluate her performance, if she has failed to meet your expectations in the job - inclusive of a careful management of your money, you document that and tie it to raises or bonuses.

It's just like with a child - you don't get the behavior you want through incentives, you get it through clear and consistent expectations you've carefully laid out.

And, if it's time to replace her in the position then you should do that. Perhaps she's run her course with your family, or perhaps you decide to just live with this kind of behavior since no one is perfect and sometimes the devil you know is better than the devil you don't.

[Anonymous]

That happened to me and the family made me pay. I quit shortly after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should eat the cost.

Separately, you should have a talk with her about your feeling that she's cavalier with your money and give her the examples you gave us. Tell her that if that does not change you will be thinking of it come holiday bonus time.

+1. The reason this is upsetting you so much is that it is the (expensive) straw that broke the camel's back. I assume she's doing household tasks because your kids are in school part of the day, and she wanted to keep a full time job (and you need her). The job she's doing now is much easier than it was when she had kids all day, and she would be easier to replace than in the past. It's time to make her understand that the directions about eggs and grapes are important to you, and they need to become important to her.

I replaced my nanny's phone at one point, and then asked her to get a good case and insurance on the new one. I've paid twice more now for replacement phones when the kids broke them, or she dropped it while at a venue with them. The last time she broke a phone, however, she had given it to the 1.5-year-old without the case on and wasn't really paying attention. I was impressed that she waived off my offer to pay that time. Because of things like that, I don't care when she does spend more money than I would, because, in general, she is very careful with my money and things, too.

[Anonymous]

Pay for the new key. Have a separate talk about everything else. Decide on the bonus when it's time for it. No one is guaranteed a bonus it's awarded based on performance.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me and MB found it in her coat pocket several months later. It'll turn up
There isn't a spare? I'm sortie that's a lot of money for a key

[Anonymous]

Pay for the key. Do your own grocery shopping and gasing cars. Neither of these are Nanny duties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pay for the key. Do your own grocery shopping and gasing cars. Neither of these are Nanny duties.

Good luck keeping your job when your charges go to school with that attitude!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pay for the key. Do your own grocery shopping and gasing cars. Neither of these are Nanny duties.

Good luck keeping your job when your charges go to school with that attitude!

NP. Good luck finding a stable PT nanny.