I don't get a lunch break?

[Anonymous]

I started a new job a couple weeks ago. The baby is going through a phase of needing to be held for naps but has been held for naps most of the his naps. I'm then forced to clean his bottles and eat lunch while he's on his playmat. MB told me today that she feels he's not getting attention and I need to do his dishes and eat during his nap time. I told her it's impossible since he will only sleep swaddled with a noise machine in his nursery while being held. He won't sleep in a swing or a carrier. She knows this but there's two parents and one of me. I can't go a 10 hour day without eating. I can't eat whole holding him because food isn't allowed in his nursery. I don't get a break the whole 10 hours and I feel she needs to be more understanding.

[Anonymous]

He's 3 months and goes down every 90 minutes.

[Anonymous]

This is beyond absurd. Seriously, find a new job. Not giving you a paid break to eat your lunch and/or bathroom break is unconscionable. This should be screaming to you that this woman is impossible and it will only get worse.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused op. Why would the mb say for you to eat and clean during the baby's sleep times? This leads me to believe that they must not hold him while he is sleeping otherwise she would know this was an absurd thing to say.

One of the babies I've had before went through a phase like this. I would read while I held him and then while he was in a good mood and up I would eat. Sometimes I'd pack my lunch and take a walk with a blanket have him next to me so he could look around and get fresh air and I would eat a sandwich etc. or just do it while he's on his mat like you had. The baby's needs and your being able to eat and have a second comes first over cleaning bottles

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused op. Why would the mb say for you to eat and clean during the baby's sleep times? This leads me to believe that they must not hold him while he is sleeping otherwise she would know this was an absurd thing to say.

One of the babies I've had before went through a phase like this. I would read while I held him and then while he was in a good mood and up I would eat. Sometimes I'd pack my lunch and take a walk with a blanket have him next to me so he could look around and get fresh air and I would eat a sandwich etc. or just do it while he's on his mat like you had. The baby's needs and your being able to eat and have a second comes first over cleaning bottles

NP I think she is saying that sleep time chores and meals are not possible, because the baby needs to be swaddled and held the whole time. That baby needs sleep training, not being held 24/7.

[Anonymous]

No 3mo needs interaction every second he's awake. You should be able to eat and go pee while he's awake if it's impossible while he's sleeping. Ask her how she would like you to manage toilet and lunch in the scenario she is proposing. (and the probably quit, she's insane)

[Anonymous]

Ok here. He's 3 months old and too young for sleep training. He used to like the carrier but now doesn't. The parents trade off and hold the baby to eat. I've attempted to put him down but he refuses. He has acid reflux so super fussy even when he's awake. The mom is home next week with him so she will see how tough it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok here. He's 3 months old and too young for sleep training. He used to like the carrier but now doesn't. The parents trade off and hold the baby to eat. I've attempted to put him down but he refuses. He has acid reflux so super fussy even when he's awake. The mom is home next week with him so she will see how tough it is.

Just carry on as you have been for now, and address it next week when she's home. Ask her directly which she would like you to do: eat while he's awake and content, or eat while he fusses in a swing or his crib at "nap" time. This situation should resolve itself soon enough, but until then, you need to eat!

[Anonymous]

I think as a nanny your goal should be for both of you to have pleasant days and I agree, eat while he sleeps or Train him. I can't imagine holding a baby for an hour while he sleeps loool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused op. Why would the mb say for you to eat and clean during the baby's sleep times? This leads me to believe that they must not hold him while he is sleeping otherwise she would know this was an absurd thing to say.

One of the babies I've had before went through a phase like this. I would read while I held him and then while he was in a good mood and up I would eat. Sometimes I'd pack my lunch and take a walk with a blanket have him next to me so he could look around and get fresh air and I would eat a sandwich etc. or just do it while he's on his mat like you had. The baby's needs and your being able to eat and have a second comes first over cleaning bottles

NP I think she is saying that sleep time chores and meals are not possible, because the baby needs to be swaddled and held the whole time. That baby needs sleep training, not being held 24/7.

14:17 here

Thanks pp. I realized that but that's why I bought it strange for the me to suggest chores during naps because if this is something the parents do (hold him while he is sleeping) then they should know that she can't get chores done while he is napping because they've spoiled him into being accustomed to being held.

The only way the MBs expectations makes any sense is the f they aren't holding him while he's sleep which means this baby is only doing this to the nanny and needs to be trained out of this habit.

I don't recall whether the op states that the parents acknowledge they hold him constantly while he sleeps and if they do then they should know the nanny can't get things done

[Anonymous]

*thought it strange for MB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused op. Why would the mb say for you to eat and clean during the baby's sleep times? This leads me to believe that they must not hold him while he is sleeping otherwise she would know this was an absurd thing to say.

One of the babies I've had before went through a phase like this. I would read while I held him and then while he was in a good mood and up I would eat. Sometimes I'd pack my lunch and take a walk with a blanket have him next to me so he could look around and get fresh air and I would eat a sandwich etc. or just do it while he's on his mat like you had. The baby's needs and your being able to eat and have a second comes first over cleaning bottles

NP I think she is saying that sleep time chores and meals are not possible, because the baby needs to be swaddled and held the whole time. That baby needs sleep training, not being held 24/7.

14:17 here

Thanks pp. I realized that but that's why I bought it strange for the me to suggest chores during naps because if this is something the parents do (hold him while he is sleeping) then they should know that she can't get chores done while he is napping because they've spoiled him into being accustomed to being held.

The only way the MBs expectations makes any sense is the f they aren't holding him while he's sleep which means this baby is only doing this to the nanny and needs to be trained out of this habit.

I don't recall whether the op states that the parents acknowledge they hold him constantly while he sleeps and if they do then they should know the nanny can't get things done

There are plenty of parents that do stupid things with their kids but expect the nanny to be able to do it better. It's totally plausible that this MB has trained her baby to require holding during naps, yet expects the nanny to get things done during nap time. Trust me, I've had MBs with similar expectations who also refused to allow me to sleep train.

[Anonymous]

OP question are the parents stay at home or work from home parents?

I had a position once where the baby went through a phase of wanting to be held while she napped, just had to take the time and sleep train the baby to sleep in her bed. A nannies job is unique, especially if you are the only one there for the day, you have to work in your breaks. I liked a PP idea of taking the baby to the park, laying them on a blanket and eat then. There were often times I would get lunch while the baby and I went on walks.

If you have a at home boss who is also very micromanaging that would be hard as they will think you taking time to eat is lazy, they can have the attitude that they do not pay you to have lunch, or if the parent works out of the home and uses a nanny cam and micromanaging it can be the same problem.

Sounds like you need to have a talk and if you do not have a nanny agreement that includes breaks then you need one

[Anonymous]

My second child was like this but I stay at home so our nanny and I would take turns holding during the nap while the other ate and/or washed bottles. It is a rough period but doesn't last forever! We sleep trained around 5-6 months and she naps like a dream now -- everyone gets ample lunch time. Your boss sounds unreasonable if you are the only one at home and she knows you hold for naps. Tell her it has to be this way until the baby is sleep trained or can be put down for naps. You deserve to sit down and eat your lunch for a bit and it sounds like the only choice is to let bottles remain dirty for MB to clean, or clean them while baby is awake and in swing (or whatever).

If your boss doesn't understand this and gives you a hard time, please leave.

[Anonymous]

It's not acceptable to have to hold a baby all the time for sleeping. They need to let you use other methods like a wrap carrier (at most) or a rock-n-play or vibrating chair sometimes. It's ridiculous to not great a break.