You're Firef! - Nanny Always Has Life Drama

[Anonymous]

I have decided to let my nanny go because of the constant drama in her life which has resulted in me being viewed as inconsistent/unreliable at work.
She's been working for me for almost 9 months and in that time as taken a total 6 half days and 3 full days off to attend to personal matters. This is in additions to 2 Weeks paid vacation she took in June. As well as 2 sick days when she had flu.

I'm under strain at work from taking so much time off as I don't currently have a backup. I'm in finance in a male dominated team and they are tired of me always needing time off.

Today she just told me she needs tomorrow afternoon as well as all of Friday and Sat morning off to attend her nephew's funeral.

I have literally to scramble for a babysitter during a time when my baby has peak stranger anxiety as I cannot take more time off work.

I cannot risk my career and a reputation built over a decade because of inconsistent childcare. I'm getting a new nanny thanks.

[Anonymous]

It may be the right time to switch to a daycare. We switched our dd to daycare around the 18 mo mark. The adjustment was hard for her for a couple weeks but then she settled in. The reliability was fantastic and just what we needed. My DH and I both work long hours, but we alternated pick up and drop off.

[Anonymous]

I would never put my child in daycare! OP you need an older, grown up nanny. What I love most about my DD's nanny - aside from the fact that she is a true teacher to my baby - is that she is no-drama. She is a grown up and has neverbeen late, never once asked for time off and got sick from my DD only once and only took the day off when I insisted. Nanny believes that mothers care for their children when they themselves are sick so why should't a nanny.

[Anonymous]

I think some women choose to be nannies because they see it as a super-flexible job. They can wear what they want, plan their own days, make phone calls if need be ... and they'll just take days off if they need to.

Other women see it as an actual job and show up every day. That's the kind of nanny you need. Reliability is as important as the child-centered qualities you're hiring for. If you don't have a job, neither does she.

And, there's no backup plan in the world that's going to cover 4 weeks worth of absences in 9 months!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It may be the right time to switch to a daycare. We switched our dd to daycare around the 18 mo mark. The adjustment was hard for her for a couple weeks but then she settled in. The reliability was fantastic and just what we needed. My DH and I both work long hours, but we alternated pick up and drop off.

Hmmm I wonder why you even have kids... poor baby girl. At least she sees one of you before she goes to sleep for a few minutes and the weekends I suppose

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some women choose to be nannies because they see it as a super-flexible job. They can wear what they want, plan their own days, make phone calls if need be ... and they'll just take days off if they need to.

Other women see it as an actual job and show up every day. That's the kind of nanny you need. Reliability is as important as the child-centered qualities you're hiring for. If you don't have a job, neither does she.

And, there's no backup plan in the world that's going to cover 4 weeks worth of absences in 9 months!

Ita! I have been at my job since January and they had make me take a day off because I never ask for anytime off. I think these are things that can be discovered and researched during the hiring process by being thorough with checking references and work histories. It also needs to be made clear that this is to be treated like work despite wanting to see the nanny like a family member. Nannies need to know it's not as if they are watching a family members kid and doing a favor.

I hate being at the park or storytimes etc seeing tons of lazy nannies using the time to make personal calls, chat up others the entire time or just playing on their phones. I know sometimes a call may need to be made or some things come up but honestly it's a job. Because of my reliability and hard work my employers are very generous and understanding. My mb even suggested to me that when I need to renew my registration and need emission testing done to do it with the kids in the car at a place where you drive thru etc. she's always telling me it's ok to go to the bank or grab items I may need at home while I'm on the clock so I won't have to get home any later after stopping at the store. I still don't do these things but it's nice to know they won't mind. They previously had a few nannies they couldn't rely on and think that helps them appreciate my professionalism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It may be the right time to switch to a daycare. We switched our dd to daycare around the 18 mo mark. The adjustment was hard for her for a couple weeks but then she settled in. The reliability was fantastic and just what we needed. My DH and I both work long hours, but we alternated pick up and drop off.

Hmmm I wonder why you even have kids... poor baby girl. At least she sees one of you before she goes to sleep for a few minutes and the weekends I suppose

so we can have loved ones to send to the best schools and do something great with their lives, and someone to pass our large inheritance too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never put my child in daycare! OP you need an older, grown up nanny. What I love most about my DD's nanny - aside from the fact that she is a true teacher to my baby - is that she is no-drama. She is a grown up and has neverbeen late, never once asked for time off and got sick from my DD only once and only took the day off when I insisted. Nanny believes that mothers care for their children when they themselves are sick so why should't a nanny.

Let's not be ageist. My nanny was 24 when starting and is now 28. Has never used more days off than accrued. Always on time, texts during naps and otherwise very minimally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have decided to let my nanny go because of the constant drama in her life which has resulted in me being viewed as inconsistent/unreliable at work.
She's been working for me for almost 9 months and in that time as taken a total 6 half days and 3 full days off to attend to personal matters. This is in additions to 2 Weeks paid vacation she took in June. As well as 2 sick days when she had flu.

I'm under strain at work from taking so much time off as I don't currently have a backup. I'm in finance in a male dominated team and they are tired of me always needing time off.

Today she just told me she needs tomorrow afternoon as well as all of Friday and Sat morning off to attend her nephew's funeral.

I have literally to scramble for a babysitter during a time when my baby has peak stranger anxiety as I cannot take more time off work.

I cannot risk my career and a reputation built over a decade because of inconsistent childcare. I'm getting a new nanny thanks.

Don't play this game anymore,let her go forever...

[Anonymous]

Good for you OP!

Reliability is #1 when considering hiring a Nanny.
You need someone who will be there when they say they will be there. Period.

Sure things come up in life where one falls ill or has a family emergency.
But your Nanny sounds like she is not taking her job very seriously & thus looks completely irresponsible to me.

She already took her two weeks of paid vacation and she only has been w/your family for nine months.....??!

That is unsettling.
Good luck w/your next Nanny.

[Anonymous]

OP, as long as you can afford the services of an in-home Nanny then I strongly discourage you from going the daycare route.

Daycare is for families who cannot afford a Nanny.
If you switch your child to daycare, your child will get far less individualized "one-on-one" personal attention & be exposed to more germs.

I would stay w/a Nanny until S/he gets older.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I totally disagree that daycare is for families that can't afford a nanny! Or that it is a horrible thing. We have gone both routes, and had great experiences with both! We also have things that we dislike about both. To each their own, it is a very personal decision. We should be offering helpful advice, not insulting each others choices.

And to whoever told the other mom that that she feels sorry for the kids that are sent to daycare because they never see their parents: Daycare centers are generally closed before dinner time, and it can be assumed that these children are then having dinner with at least one of their parents every night. I know plenty of families using nannies that can't say the same! But I wouldn't generalize and assume that just because someone has a nanny.

[Anonymous]

It is her PTO and she should be able to take off when she needs to do so--just as you are able to do. I have a feeling, OP, that you will go through nannies like water through a sieve.

[Anonymous]

OP said that these days were in ADDITION to her PTO, not part of it.

[Anonymous]

Bite the bullet and do what you have to do OP.

I know it's a nightmare. I hope you have better luck with your next hire.