How to work from home when nanny is also home?

[Anonymous]

I am returning to work in a few weeks and will have a nanny at home with our youngest child (6 months old) full-time. My husband and I each work from home one day per week (and theoretically each could do two, but not sure how that would work). I am hoping for some advice on working at home while the nanny is there.

How do you balance enjoying the benefit of being near baby during the day and also giving baby and nanny space to do their own thing and get into their own rhythm? success stories or challenges when working from home and having a nanny/baby there? Do you still pump and have nanny give bottles or find baby for feedings? Is this too confusing for the baby or difficult for the nanny? Any other tips?

[Anonymous]

First, if you could give Nanny a week or two without you at first it will help baby bond with her and it will help baby adjust to taking bottles if she hasn't been.

Second and going forward, the key is just having open communication and staying out of the way most of the time. What is your layout like?

[Anonymous]

I work from home on occasion and I do find that it's really hard to be in the house with the baby and work and not play with her. I hate pumping so I feed her but then she goes back to the nanny. I make a plan and tell the nanny and spend an hour around lunch playing with the baby and feeding her solids and the nanny has her own lunch and rests. When it was nice baby and I went outside for a lot of that play time so it wouldn't be awkward for the nanny.
I usually go over my schedule for the week on Monday and mention any appointments or time I will be home early or work from home.

[Anonymous]

How big is your house and what's the layout?
Will you be in the nanny's hair all day?

[Anonymous]

I work from home one day a week. I sit at the dining room table so I can watch the kids in the living room. When I have calls I go into another room. If I'm home, I nurse. The nanny and I just back each other up in front of the kids. United front.

[Anonymous]

I work from home. When the baby was tiny, she just knocked to let me know he was hungry. Once he was in a routine, I took him for feeding + nap, and then once he was done breastfeeding, I started eating lunch with them.

It just kind of fell into place. I think the best thing to do is be up front that you're not exactly sure how this will work, and that you guys will try some things.

DO NOT breastfeed "from the tap" exclusively! Let the nanny give at least one bottle every day. It is so easy to get lazy with this because pumping sucks and the baby is there, but then the first day you have to leave for some reason, your baby may not take the bottle.

I've been doing this for 6 years (4 kids now). If you have a kind nanny who likes people, it will just sort of work itself out. My number one suggestion is to tell her early on that if you hear the baby crying, you won't come help unless she asks you to (she can text you, or come knock). Let her figure out what will work for her to soothe him, and don't stand there and watch.

[Anonymous]

Most of these situations are a true recipe for disaster.
But they can be successful if both parties have good chemistry together & can work together as a team.

Try to find a workspace as far away as you can from both Nanny & your baby.
Reason being is that it will be too easy for you to be distracted by them if they are in earshot.
It's also beneficial for your Nanny so she doesn't have to feel so stressed out if your baby cries loud + incessantly thus disturbing your need for quiet.

Let your Nanny have complete autonomy.
Hand her the reigns and trust that she will know exactly what she is doing.

While difficult, unless she directly asks for your advice or assistance w/something, do not interfere w/her overall care for your child.
Easier said than done, I know but boundaries must be set & respected if you truly want this dynamic to succeed!

Best of luck to everyone.

[Anonymous]

I go into my room and only come out if our nanny asks me to (this happened once). When my son was a baby I could come and go to the fridge or whatever and he didn't mind but now that he's a toddler I need to stay out of sight or he gets upset. He understands that when I go upstairs he won't see me all day and that is working for us -- he doesn't call for me. I only leave my room when he's asleep or they are out and about. Nanny and I communicate via text. Works for us.

[Anonymous]

I have worked for two families where at least one parent worked from home. Around the babies 6th or 7th month I noticed the separation anxiety kick in. Here is what MB did that let me know we would work well together: she kissed her crying baby, said that she would be so excited to play at the end of the day when her work was done, then handed the baby over to me and said goodbye. One the third afternoon that she did this the baby did not cry at all. Here are my top tips for making this situation work:


1. Spend time observing your nanny to see how her day flows. Does your LO sit in the high chair, eat from her own tray, wash hands after eating, then go into the nursery for the nap routine? You may want to unwind on your lunch hour with horsey rides and raucous play, your nanny may want to keep the energy level down right before a nap.

2. You must have a dedicated work space away from the common areas, for everyones sake.

3. A sound machine or box fan will help minimize the noise interruptions.

4. Are you SURE you have enough work to do to stay out of your nanny's hair? Or at least a good Netflix queue? If you have a light load I suggest knocking it all out and allowing nanny to go an hour or two early - rather then making six 15 minute forays into the play room.

5. PP recommended you give the nanny a couple weeks to bond with your baby and that is some of the best advice I've heard. Kids are different around their parents, at any age. Weaning onto the bottle is especially difficult if mom is near by. Beyond that, the nanny needs time to just sit with the baby and get to know the baby through close observation.

6. Learn to say this: When nanny is here she sets the rules. She says play time is over/to clean up your toys/it's nap time/etc. - then that's what goes. Outside of a serious lapse in judgement, if you are concerned with your nanny's rules then speak to her at the end of the day away from your kids.

7. Finally, just be kind. You are each learning to be with the other. Extend a bit of mercy when she makes the occasional mistake, knowing that they are bound to happen and she happens to have your eyes around to see it.

[Anonymous]

We have a small house, and although I have a separate office in the basement, I was never able to work from home while the nanny and my son were home. I always found another place, outside of the home, to work.