went from 1 to 2 kids

[Anonymous]

sadly we don't think our nanny can handle two young children. we tried many things to make it easier for her since the baby arrived last year - put toddler in 4 hours of pre-school, do the 8am morning pre-school drop ourselves, paid her a 2 child rate the whole day, make bulk meals/purees for both kids, start the laundry in the morning 2x a week, dress both kids and bring them downstairs for breakfast once she comes, sometimes start toddler breakfast when we know we have to leave before 8am sharp.

yet she is always tired, complaining and too busy outside of this FT day job. In august there were no grandparent houseguests or camps for the older toddler, the nanny hit a wall. we weren't sure what was going on with her - her personal life, adult kids, health, or just generally unhappy. now we are back to the school routine and supplement with some fun activities for the 1 yo - like Gymboree, library class schedule. Nanny doesn't like something about the new "schedule" and requested a raise quoting her "stressful august caring for two young children."

We are definitely not on the same page here, if anything we feel ready to giver her a few performance warnings. I don't think any amount of money will rectify the issues here. What's the best way to handle - just play along that the role has really changed so much and we need a different nanny? She is not getting a raise, especially given I have taken over several aspects of her role and the quality of care has gone down. Even if the issue is driving the kids to activities or picking up for school that doesn't warrant a salary raise. SHe is paid for for gas and is never driving more than 10-15 miles a day. I feel that she just doesn't have the energy to take the 1 yo anywhere or do pickups. is driving kids supposed to be some cash cow event for a well-paid nanny?

[Anonymous]

Looool no it shouldn't be cash cow job. Your nanny is just unable to handle multiples. Let her go and hire an energetic nanny with multiples or daycare experience. Honestly m a nanny and this job should b a cake job imo. You doing an effort to cook, pay for outside activities and the other baby in daycare half the day should make her day so easy if she supplement a play date, parc, library story time, museum, mall. Your nanny should just retire. She can't handle this job.

[Anonymous]

No raise, no way. Time for a new nanny. I wonder if she actually thought that acting like this job was so hard would convince you to give her a raise?

If anything, the younger child should be getting easier to integrate with the older one -- he can play, eat regular food, schedule is more predictable, diaper blowouts should be over (or nearly so) ...

And, she's getting paid well the rest of the year for an easy job. In august, it's a little harder than usual. Too bad. It's like any jobs, some "seasons" or weeks are a lot of work, sometimes you can sit on your phone.

This will not be fun, but if you move on, you will be so much happier.

I think you say, "Nanny X, it is really clear that we are just not on the same page about this job. We've done everything in our power to make the two-kid dynamic easier, and it's still really hard for you. Your request for a raise just made the divide between our expectations and yours crystal clear. From our perspective, you aren't really doing the job we're paying you for now. We need to be certain that our nanny can handle both children. They're not going anywhere, and there are lots of breaks and holidays. We will not be paying for additional camps or taking off work to try to help you with them all. It is time for both of us to move on. We will give you a great recommendation for a newborn/infant job, and x weeks of severance. Thank you for all you have done, and I hope you're able to find a better fit."

[Anonymous]

Yes - new nanny. Start interviewing. When you find someone you like do a practice day or two on the weekends (paid). Then let your current nanny go, with as generous a severance package as you can manage, and just move on.

[Anonymous]

Alternatively, let her go right now and use an agency for a couple of weeks while you're interviewing replacements. (If I had to do this again that's how I'd handle it.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alternatively, let her go right now and use an agency for a couple of weeks while you're interviewing replacements. (If I had to do this again that's how I'd handle it.)

thx, same situation here, what agency did you use?

[Anonymous]

Unless you plan to get rid of one of the kids, you need a new nanny. There are tons of nannies out there who could handle two kids easily. I suggest you hire one of those and keep the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you plan to get rid of one of the kids, you need a new nanny. There are tons of nannies out there who could handle two kids easily. I suggest you hire one of those and keep the kids.

Yes. Just in case you think she's typical, and that you have the hardest job in the world that no nanny will want! Nope, not at all. My nanny handles four beautifully, and we had nannies in the past that handled two just fine!

[Anonymous]

You need a new nanny for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alternatively, let her go right now and use an agency for a couple of weeks while you're interviewing replacements. (If I had to do this again that's how I'd handle it.)

thx, same situation here, what agency did you use?

I've used MetroParentRelief. They specialize in the shorter term placements, fill ins for sick leave and vacations, etc... so their nannies are all very comfortable just stepping in (and are well-screened.) MPR can also help w/ permanent hiring but I did that on my own. But it's hard to line up a replacement and time all of that out easily - especially if the kids are old enough to talk about "We met so and so this weekend and she was so much fun!" Then your cover is blown.

[Anonymous]

You need a new nanny. Adding a baby is always more work and more stress, but most nannies should get the hang of it after the first few weeks, so yours is just not up for the job.

[Anonymous]

It sounds to me as if your new family dynamic just isn't working out anymore for your nanny.

You have done everything under the sun to make the transition from one child ----> two as smooth as possible, but sadly it just isn't enough for her.

Since your family needs are now different OP, you now need to find someone who can adequately fit in since your current nanny is not adapting too well.

I wouldn't try to give her a 2nd chance however.

Also, for driving duties it is best to pay a "mileage" rate vs. a "gas only" rate since not only is she using her own fuel to drive, but her car also experiences add'l wear + tear as well.
I think the IRS rate re: mileage is somewhere along the lines of $0.56/mile.

Hope this all helps out.
Good luck!

[Anonymous]

many families just pay $10, 15 or 20 per week for additional gas. and that's for daily school drops & pick-ups and daily sports/activity drops.

when the kids were little (preK) we noticed a lot of "lunches at the mall" for $5 of mileage a day plus the 6 miles of school two rounds trip adds up fast and prices her out of her $900/week salary.

now that nanny is aftercare only, her "mileage" is included in her salary as it is one of her basic tasks (driving kids, watching kids until we get home, household errands, meal prep).

So yes, it is a cash cow easy peasy way to make no effort money. FYI - IRS says you can pay ANYTHING UP TO $0.56/mile and that's for corporates and traveling salespeople.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need a new nanny. Adding a baby is always more work and more stress, but most nannies should get the hang of it after the first few weeks, so yours is just not up for the job.

Then why do you only give a $1 to $2 raise for all the extra work and stress?

[Anonymous]

shitcan