Ideas for connecting with this child

[Anonymous]

He is 13 years old.
He's a well behaved little boy, but distant.
I've tried showing interest in the things he likes, but that hasn't gotten me anywhere.
I've been with him 5 weeks now.

[Anonymous]

Bowling,batting cage,starting a Netflix series,build a Lego set, Amuesment park

[Anonymous]

Why does a 13 yr need a nanny?

[Anonymous]

I think the fact that you refer to him as a "little boy" explains why you're not connecting with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the fact that you refer to him as a "little boy" explains why you're not connecting with him.

I don't actually call him little. He's about the same age as my brother so that's why. I don't treat him like a toddler or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does a 13 yr need a nanny?

Because he's too young to be on his own overnight and all weekend and still needs someone to take him shopping for clothes and to the doctor things of that nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bowling,batting cage,starting a Netflix series,build a Lego set, Amuesment park

I've tried things similar to this, but he usually declines. He's not into baseball. If I try to watch a show with him or talk about it later there isn't much conversation. Legos he has a ton of sets, I suppose I could take him to buy a new one.

[Anonymous]

I would stop trying so hard, most teenagers don't like a whole lot of adult interaction. If I was you I'd just leave an open invitation by saying " Hey, if you decide you want to go out and do anything let me know" Unfortunately that's just an incredibly tough age group to connect with and something that needs to develop naturally over time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does a 13 yr need a nanny?

Because he's too young to be on his own overnight and all weekend and still needs someone to take him shopping for clothes and to the doctor things of that nature.

Take him out to eat. When you want conversations that is the time or when you are driving and when they think you are distracted, not paying attention. Let him have a friend over or take a friend with you. Sometimes not talking is best and letting them take the lead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would stop trying so hard, most teenagers don't like a whole lot of adult interaction. If I was you I'd just leave an open invitation by saying " Hey, if you decide you want to go out and do anything let me know" Unfortunately that's just an incredibly tough age group to connect with and something that needs to develop naturally over time.

I suppose I'm just feeling a lot of pressure to make this work. I'm still in my trial period and his mother made it clear she has no problem firing a nanny she doesn't think is a good fit. The reason she gave was if she doesn't feel there is a strong enough connection, but I also heard from one of the other staff that the last nanny was fired because she was too close to the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does a 13 yr need a nanny?

Because he's too young to be on his own overnight and all weekend and still needs someone to take him shopping for clothes and to the doctor things of that nature.

Take him out to eat. When you want conversations that is the time or when you are driving and when they think you are distracted, not paying attention. Let him have a friend over or take a friend with you. Sometimes not talking is best and letting them take the lead.

I'd love to do that, but I have pretty explicit instructions on where we can go during the day, and fast food is on the no-no list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does a 13 yr need a nanny?

Because he's too young to be on his own overnight and all weekend and still needs someone to take him shopping for clothes and to the doctor things of that nature.

Take him out to eat. When you want conversations that is the time or when you are driving and when they think you are distracted, not paying attention. Let him have a friend over or take a friend with you. Sometimes not talking is best and letting them take the lead.

I'd love to do that, but I have pretty explicit instructions on where we can go during the day, and fast food is on the no-no list.

Who said fast food?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does a 13 yr need a nanny?

Because he's too young to be on his own overnight and all weekend and still needs someone to take him shopping for clothes and to the doctor things of that nature.

Take him out to eat. When you want conversations that is the time or when you are driving and when they think you are distracted, not paying attention. Let him have a friend over or take a friend with you. Sometimes not talking is best and letting them take the lead.

I'd love to do that, but I have pretty explicit instructions on where we can go during the day, and fast food is on the no-no list.

Who said fast food?

+1, I never said fast food. There are plenty of healthier places that are not McDonalds. You can go to a nicer pizza place, Noodles and Co, Chipotle, Chinese, other Asian or other cheaper place.

[Anonymous]

If he knows mom, he is probably distant as she will not keep a nanny and the nanny is the primary parent and its hard on him to keep changing. Don't focus on connecting but slowly get to know him, anticipate his needs and do the best you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stop trying so hard, most teenagers don't like a whole lot of adult interaction. If I was you I'd just leave an open invitation by saying " Hey, if you decide you want to go out and do anything let me know" Unfortunately that's just an incredibly tough age group to connect with and something that needs to develop naturally over time.

I suppose I'm just feeling a lot of pressure to make this work. I'm still in my trial period and his mother made it clear she has no problem firing a nanny she doesn't think is a good fit. The reason she gave was if she doesn't feel there is a strong enough connection, but I also heard from one of the other staff that the last nanny was fired because she was too close to the kid.

I'm sure the kid knows this. He's probably scared if he does get close to you, she'll fire you, too. And he may be sad about losing his last nanny. This whole thing sounds awful for both of you. I'm sorry.

Would mom let you have him invite friends over? That might help.