Get comfortable being the employer -- it's not always easy

[Anonymous]

After several years of being a nanny employer, my major advice to families looking to hire their first nanny is not about how to search, what to do in the interview, nanny cams, contracts, background checks, or any of that.

It's to get your head around the fact that you are an employer. This means that you now have an employee to manage. You have pay dates and taxes. You have to figure out reimbursement and fair job requests. You ought to be a reasonably good person to work for, but not a doormat. No one is going to swoop in and do this for you. Sometimes you're lucky, and you get the perfect employee, and nothing is ever an issue.

More often though, at some point, you have to have an uncomfortable conversation or two, or learn to live with a set of circumstances that you find upsetting. Be kind, be prepared, be specific, and offer ways to remedy the situation, but don't put it on your employee to recognize and miraculously solve the problem without speaking up. Embrace the discomfort, because it means you are that much closer to resolving whatever is bothering you.

Finally, take everything on this board with a grain of salt, including this post! Each employment relationship and each family is unique. Ask for advice, and then follow your instincts.

[Anonymous]

Bored OP? How many lectures are you planning on giving today?

[Anonymous]

That's all pretty fair and accurate, and there are corollary's for being a professional nanny.

[Anonymous]

Pretty much spot on advice for nannies as well.

[Anonymous]

Yes I agree this woman needs a hobby or a job.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your expert advice. Perhaps you should write a book on this subject.

[Anonymous]

Somebody ought to. A good book might make a lot more of these employment relationships go smoothly.

[Anonymous]

I have worked for three MB's now. With one of the moms, it was obvious she had never supervised anyone before. I felt like I had to "train" her how to be a supervisor. For example, 6 year old ate too many sugary things as an after school snack -- she would fuss at him instead of me. Little things like that. We have been together more than two years now, and she is getting more comfortable at giving me direction / criticism first instead of the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have worked for three MB's now. With one of the moms, it was obvious she had never supervised anyone before. I felt like I had to "train" her how to be a supervisor. For example, 6 year old ate too many sugary things as an after school snack -- she would fuss at him instead of me. Little things like that. We have been together more than two years now, and she is getting more comfortable at giving me direction / criticism first instead of the kids.

She should fuss at the kid unless you have him too many sugary things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have worked for three MB's now. With one of the moms, it was obvious she had never supervised anyone before. I felt like I had to "train" her how to be a supervisor. For example, 6 year old ate too many sugary things as an after school snack -- she would fuss at him instead of me. Little things like that. We have been together more than two years now, and she is getting more comfortable at giving me direction / criticism first instead of the kids.

She should fuss at the kid unless you have him too many sugary things.

Previous poster here. Yes, he deserves a bit of fussing too, but they are under my supervision in the afternoon. He is now allowed one sugary thing as an after school snack, and if he is still hungry after that, he can have fruit or a cheese stick.