nanny yelled at by neighbor re parking

[Anonymous]

We are renters in a condo building with an indoor garage. Our nanny parks in our space when she arrives. Today, the woman who has the space next to ours told (read: yelled at) our nanny that she parks too close to the yellow line and if it continues she would have her car towed! Our nanny apologized and the woman actually said “sorry isn’t good enough!”

Our nanny was visibly upset and shaken up by the conversation. I’m not sure if historically she’s parked way too close to this other car, but my husband checked and said she was well within the yellow line. The owner of the other car is morbidly obese and likely needs a bit of extra room to get into her car, but… not really our problem, especially when you’re talking about what constitutes a parking garage infraction grievous enough for towing.

So, what would you do? I want to protect our nanny from this kind of behavior in the future. Should I write this woman a note asking her to contact me if she is upset about the parking? I’m usually inclined to include an apology in a note like that, but this time I really don’t want to because I don’t think our nanny did anything wrong! But – I also don’t want bad blood with a woman who parks right next to us, and may be a little nuts. Any thoughts?

[Anonymous]

We have a similar issue on our suburban street. Apparently a few of our neighbors think they have designated spots on a public street, and more than once have spoken to our nanny about where she parks. Fortunately, they haven't been as nasty to her as this woman was to your nanny, so we tend to laugh about it with our nanny and then ignore it.

In your situation, I would probably do something. Do you have a building manager you can go to? It's not a bad idea to get in there first and make note of her complaint and nastiness, just in case she winds up doing something like this again, or making baseless accusations about your nanny. Then, you could consider knocking on her door and speaking to her in person. Hopefully she can blow off a little steam on you and you can be gracious (not necessarily apologetic) and tell her you'll speak to the nanny but make clear that in the future she needs to not yell at your nanny, and she's welcome to speak to you. Sometimes nasty people like that just need someone to yell at and/or to feel like their concern is being heard. It's pretty clearly not about your nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a similar issue on our suburban street. Apparently a few of our neighbors think they have designated spots on a public street, and more than once have spoken to our nanny about where she parks. Fortunately, they haven't been as nasty to her as this woman was to your nanny, so we tend to laugh about it with our nanny and then ignore it.

In your situation, I would probably do something. Do you have a building manager you can go to? It's not a bad idea to get in there first and make note of her complaint and nastiness, just in case she winds up doing something like this again, or making baseless accusations about your nanny. Then, you could consider knocking on her door and speaking to her in person. Hopefully she can blow off a little steam on you and you can be gracious (not necessarily apologetic) and tell her you'll speak to the nanny but make clear that in the future she needs to not yell at your nanny, and she's welcome to speak to you. Sometimes nasty people like that just need someone to yell at and/or to feel like their concern is being heard. It's pretty clearly not about your nanny.

Can you please come help me with a sticky problem I'm having with another parent at my kids' school? You are very good at this!

[Anonymous]

I would write a note and tell her to talk to you if this is a problem!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a similar issue on our suburban street. Apparently a few of our neighbors think they have designated spots on a public street, and more than once have spoken to our nanny about where she parks. Fortunately, they haven't been as nasty to her as this woman was to your nanny, so we tend to laugh about it with our nanny and then ignore it.

In your situation, I would probably do something. Do you have a building manager you can go to? It's not a bad idea to get in there first and make note of her complaint and nastiness, just in case she winds up doing something like this again, or making baseless accusations about your nanny. Then, you could consider knocking on her door and speaking to her in person. Hopefully she can blow off a little steam on you and you can be gracious (not necessarily apologetic) and tell her you'll speak to the nanny but make clear that in the future she needs to not yell at your nanny, and she's welcome to speak to you. Sometimes nasty people like that just need someone to yell at and/or to feel like their concern is being heard. It's pretty clearly not about your nanny.

Can you please come help me with a sticky problem I'm having with another parent at my kids' school? You are very good at this!

Ha! Well I appreciate the compliment. Good advice is always in the eye of the beholder, especially on this website.

[Anonymous]

"too close to the line" is not a thing. If she's in the lines she's fine. Tell fatty to stuff it

[Anonymous]

OP here -- we're heading out of town tomorrow so I'm going to send a note that says the following. The first draft was a lot snottier. Ha.

We understand that you had a conversation in the garage with our son’s caretaker, XX, regarding the positioning of her car in our parking space. She will be careful to leave plenty of room between her car and boundary between our parking spaces in the future. However, X was very upset and shaken by the tone of the discussion. We are ultimately responsible for her actions during her hours of employ with us, so if you again find that her car is too close to yours or have any other issues, please get in touch with us first. Our contact information is listed below.

Thank you,

[Anonymous]

Perfect!

[Anonymous]

Very nice! A good for you for sticking up for your nanny.

[Anonymous]

Way too nice. I would be more neutral and say if she's in the lines she's cool but that's just me. Hope this works for you since you're clearly less antagonistic than I am.

[Anonymous]

Even if she called for a tow I can't imagine they would do it if her car is within the parking spot.

I like the note you wrote, OP. Personally I would have left out any mention of the nanny being more careful, though. She has nothing to be careful about from the sounds of things.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible your nanny was over the line but told you she wasn't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a similar issue on our suburban street. Apparently a few of our neighbors think they have designated spots on a public street, and more than once have spoken to our nanny about where she parks. Fortunately, they haven't been as nasty to her as this woman was to your nanny, so we tend to laugh about it with our nanny and then ignore it.

In your situation, I would probably do something. Do you have a building manager you can go to? It's not a bad idea to get in there first and make note of her complaint and nastiness, just in case she winds up doing something like this again, or making baseless accusations about your nanny. Then, you could consider knocking on her door and speaking to her in person. Hopefully she can blow off a little steam on you and you can be gracious (not necessarily apologetic) and tell her you'll speak to the nanny but make clear that in the future she needs to not yell at your nanny, and she's welcome to speak to you. Sometimes nasty people like that just need someone to yell at and/or to feel like their concern is being heard. It's pretty clearly not about your nanny.

Your nanny should park in front of your house, not theirs. Its common decency.

OP, leave it alone and just ignore her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible your nanny was over the line but told you she wasn't?

Is it possible for you to read before responding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible your nanny was over the line but told you she wasn't?

Is it possible for you to read before responding?

Unless he witnessed the altercation it's pretty likely she fixed the parking job after getting called out, genius.