Should I look for a new nanny?

[Anonymous]

We hired a new nanny for my 9 month old baby (my second child). Today was her 3rd full day on the job. I'm also trying to sleep train my baby and since I know there are different methods of sleep training, I've given the nanny explicit instructions on how I'd like it done. We also have cameras around the house and I've informed her of that.

Today was her first day by herself. I noticed on the monitor feed that she was not following directions for the morning nap and was leaving the baby to cry without any check-ins. I called her and asked her to stop the sleep training (the crying had gone on way too long) and to try a nap in the afternoon. She was not particularly happy with my "interference" and was argumentative. After we hung up, I continued watching the monitor and she walked in the bedroom, walked right past the bawling baby and proceeded to open the blinds and turn off the noise machine and THEN turned to pick up the baby. She then put the baby in the jumperoo in our living room, and went into the kitchen to prepare a snack. Baby is still upset.

Then in the afternoon, again, this time she did not follow instructions on the sleep training.

I'm annoyed that 1) she treats a crying baby as if it's not a big deal, and 2) she disregards my instructions on sleep training, which are aimed at relieving some of the crying episodes that sleep training will necessarily entail.

What do you all think? The nanny has excellent references and overall seemed solid, but she does seem a little impatient with babyies. Perhaps she would be a better fit for a family with older children?

[Anonymous]

So first, I will say that MOST experienced nannies are going to "regard a crying baby as no big deal" to some extent. I have seen countless meltdowns in my time and have way more perspective than a first time parent does, and it just doesn't bother me on a visceral level--which is what enables me to stay calm and do my job even with very high-strung babies. So I would not view it as a major fault that she doesn't look panicked or upset that baby is crying. Would you really want a nanny who is thrown by a crying baby?

But that said, she either didn't understand the instructions re: sleep training or she did understand but felt that her method would be better so she overruled you. Either way, that part of you description is a big problem. I would have a very clear discussion about whether she is willing to do as you ask, even if she disagrees. If you find that is not the case then, yes. You need someone new.

[Anonymous]

How do you have the time to sit and watch the camera?

It is wrong that she isn't following your instructions. She should be working with you. If I was her then i'd do your method and then if I thought it wasn't working id speak to you about trying something else. I wouldn't just immediately change something.

I wouldn't like it if I felt micromanaged though. So while I can see why you called a halt to this, i'd make sure you only call like that for big things. speak about the little things at a later stage.

Its a good thing that she didn't panic, but I also would have picked baby up before going to open blinds etc

[Anonymous]

You know,some nannies like to do her job without the parents interfe,some nannies is just working for money,some nannies is just loves to have kids around her,(like me),
Some nannies doesn't care what the parents say.
You have to figer out what kind the nanny you got.
I always working with family that they have camera on the cell phone and all they told me that ,I really don't care I'm not doing nothing wrong ..
But lots nannies like to have a Pravacy,when I fart they know I did,I just smile and say sorry!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know,some nannies like to do her job without the parents interfe,some nannies is just working for money,some nannies is just loves to have kids around her,(like me),
Some nannies doesn't care what the parents say.
You have to figer out what kind the nanny you got.
I always working with family that they have camera on the cell phone and all they told me that ,I really don't care I'm not doing nothing wrong ..
But lots nannies like to have a Pravacy,when I fart they know I did,I just smile and say sorry!!

Ps.some words Im taping wrong ,because I did in my phone.
But a admit my English is not perfect,please no critical.

[Anonymous]

MB here...you should let your nanny do the job, especially if she is experienced. Otherwise you are going to go crazy. Sit down, TALK about it...

[Anonymous]

If you're micromanaging this bad on her first day alone, I guarantee she's going to quit before you even have a chance to find a new nanny. OP, if you really want this to work, you have to be clear with your expectations then trust in your nanny. Don't sit around watching the cameras all day waiting for her to mess up so you have a reason to call and bitch at her. She's a professional, let her do her job, trust her judgment or find a new nanny who is willing to obey your every order.

PS, I'm a nanny and I also turn off the noise machine and turn on the lights before picking up the baby. It's much easier to do these things without a crying baby in your arms and it literally takes 5 seconds.

[Anonymous]

You're upset about the order in which she turns on lights and opens blinds? The baby cried all of 10 extra seconds. Don't worry about firing his one...she'll be out of there by Friday.
You have to relax.

[Anonymous]

AS a nanny myself I usually side with the parents, one because it is their house and two it is their child so it is their rules. Yes your nanny should be following your instructions but, come on, it is her third day and first one alone. Your baby and nanny are just getting acquainted, even the most experienced and qualified nanny needs this breaking in time.

[Anonymous]

I'd look for some other nanny. Your nanny should follow your instructions.

[Anonymous]

Your method of sleep training only prolongs the crying and makes it worse for the baby.

[Anonymous]

I would look for a new nanny, because she sounds like she's bitter or unhappy with her job if she's not looking to comfort a crying child immediately, but I also wouldn't let my nanny do sleep training for naps. I think you can focus on night time and do it the way you want. I woudn't let another person be in charge of how much crying is too much.

We don't do Ferber or checks, but if we did I would still tell my caregivers to provide as much attention as possible, especially if it's the only child.

[Anonymous]

MBs- don't hire nannies if you can't let us do our jobs!!!!
It's perfectly fine not to rush to a crying baby for a few minutes, that's how they learn to become independent and listen to rules. The worst thing you can do to a baby is topics it up right away when it's crying. Unless it got hurt.
Plus, keep your nanny happy if you really like her, because awesome nannies are hard to find and its very very bad for your child to go through a hundred caregivers. Keep one!

[Anonymous]

OP when you hired this nanny, did she say she had experience in sleep training especially with the method you want to use? It sounds like you did not find a good match to what you want to accomplish. PP is correct really good experienced nannies are hard to find, but even the best ones need some time to break into your style. OP you sound like you are going to go through nannies I am afraid.

[Anonymous]

Fire her amd then fire the next 12 because you will never be satisfied. You sound like a micromanaging freak.