Afternoon Sitter/Nanny, what to expect?

[Anonymous]

My son is starting school full time next year and we need an afterschool nanny/sitter to pick him up. Our current nanny can't continue on at the lower hours. Over the years I have been seeing other kids with obvious nannies at the park, pool, etc and and the nannies are often doing nothing, on their phone, not watching their kids, etc. I'm not talking about babies, these are older kids, so maybe some of you agree that that is normal, I dont know. My question is what can I expect from an after school nanny? If I am paying $20+/hr I want someone that will play with my son, for example at the pool after school be in the water and throw a ball, dive sticks, etc. not sitting out browsing facebook. At the park someone that would get up and do something with him, play tag, be engaging. Someone that would, without me asking, WANT to take my son to play tennis, practice baseball, take it on themselves to introduce him to something new (soccer, lacrosse, etc?)

Is this reasonable to expect? How can I ensure or encourage someone to do these things? How do you avoid someone that just "watches" and actually enjoys their job.

Any tips parents who have hired for this?

[Anonymous]

Get a jock who wants to mentor a kid.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you can reasonably expect someone to be entertaining your elementary-aged kid 100% of the time, nor do I think it would be good for him/her. When I have worked with kids that age, we would go on hikes, to museums, and festivals and other events. If we were doing something just us then of course I was right there with them participating, BUT if we were hanging at the pool or at the local playground, I was NOT going to play with them the entire time. The kid playing with his nanny has no reason to go introduce himself to the other kids. I did my best to ensure there were other kids he knew, and then I would hang back so that he could practice his social skills. And yes, sometimes while I'm hanging back I'm on my phone.

At the house, we would play board games and card games and I'd set up projects and activities and crafts. But I would also excuse myself to go make dinner or fold laundry or just give him space to be bored so that he had time to read, build legos and just play alone, which is an important developmental skill.

I think you need to look for someone with a love of kids, a strong work ethic, and an understanding of child development and then trust them to know where the line is between hovering and helping.

[Anonymous]

You might need to pay closer to $25-30/hr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You might need to pay closer to $25-30/hr.

An elementary-aged kid needs to know that their caregiver is available when necessary, not at their whim. If the nanny or sitter is so engrossed that they dont realize when the other kids leave and your son is alone, then you have a problem. Personally, I know that it's easier for me to watch multiple kids and throw dive toys from the side.

[Anonymous]

I think it is reasonable to expect the caregiver that you hire for your son to actively engage w/him most of the time considering you are paying out $20/HR. for such services.

However he should also be playing w/others his age as well, especially at the park.
If he specifically requests the nanny to come inside the pool to play w/him, I definitely think she should have no issue obliging.

If you want a nanny who isn't constantly scrolling on her cell phone, my best advice would be to hire someone 30+over for sure.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you can reasonably expect someone to be entertaining your elementary-aged kid 100% of the time, nor do I think it would be good for him/her. When I have worked with kids that age, we would go on hikes, to museums, and festivals and other events. If we were doing something just us then of course I was right there with them participating, BUT if we were hanging at the pool or at the local playground, I was NOT going to play with them the entire time. The kid playing with his nanny has no reason to go introduce himself to the other kids. I did my best to ensure there were other kids he knew, and then I would hang back so that he could practice his social skills. And yes, sometimes while I'm hanging back I'm on my phone.

At the house, we would play board games and card games and I'd set up projects and activities and crafts. But I would also excuse myself to go make dinner or fold laundry or just give him space to be bored so that he had time to read, build legos and just play alone, which is an important developmental skill.

I think you need to look for someone with a love of kids, a strong work ethic, and an understanding of child development and then trust them to know where the line is between hovering and helping.

This is perfect! If we were still looking for a nanny, I would try to find you. I couldnt agree with this reasoning more.

[Anonymous]

My recommendation is to conduct thorough interviews. First via emails and texts, then on the phone, then in person. Weed out the ones you wouldn't want to hire. You can't figure out a potential employee in just a 15 minute interaction. It takes some time to get to know them. Observe the person's interactions with your child.

Make a written list of 30 or more questions to ask during interviews before you even reach out to a potential employee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My recommendation is to conduct thorough interviews. First via emails and texts, then on the phone, then in person. Weed out the ones you wouldn't want to hire. You can't figure out a potential employee in just a 15 minute interaction. It takes some time to get to know them. Observe the person's interactions with your child.

Make a written list of 30 or more questions to ask during interviews before you even reach out to a potential employee.

But obviously no one is going to say they plan to be on FB at the pool.... barring lousy interview skills everyones going to say they are fun, engaging, and active. But how do I convey that I actually want follow through. I'm assuming all the parents whos nannies I see at the park and pools told them when they interviewed they want them to interact with their child and be fun, but see how that turned out. I guess my point is they seem like $8 babysitters, just a set of eyes and a ride home, but I want to pay way more, and money isn't an issue, I just want a reasonable level of interaction, teaching, and care.

[Anonymous]

$25 or more is ridiculous for one school age child. I don't care whether they are on the phone or not, thats just crazy. For newborns maybe, but not school age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My recommendation is to conduct thorough interviews. First via emails and texts, then on the phone, then in person. Weed out the ones you wouldn't want to hire. You can't figure out a potential employee in just a 15 minute interaction. It takes some time to get to know them. Observe the person's interactions with your child.

Make a written list of 30 or more questions to ask during interviews before you even reach out to a potential employee.

But obviously no one is going to say they plan to be on FB at the pool.... barring lousy interview skills everyones going to say they are fun, engaging, and active. But how do I convey that I actually want follow through. I'm assuming all the parents whos nannies I see at the park and pools told them when they interviewed they want them to interact with their child and be fun, but see how that turned out. I guess my point is they seem like $8 babysitters, just a set of eyes and a ride home, but I want to pay way more, and money isn't an issue, I just want a reasonable level of interaction, teaching, and care.

You seem to want constant interaction, which isn't good for your child. Singletons have to learn to make friends and play with other kids, while kids with siblings hav to learn to play with children other than just siblings. It doesn't come naturally for many children. There's been more than once that I've told my charges that I needed to text their father (and I sent him a quick snap of kids playing because I refuse to lie to them...), and then I've sat on the bench holding my phone and pretending to be busy while watching surreptitiously. If the child will seek out adult interaction instead of talking to other children, the nanny has to get creative. It doesn't mean that the nanny is ignoring the child or putting her own interests above the child's. I don't text anyone else while observing my charges. If the child has special needs, there's aren't any other kids or my charge is young enough to need help (1 or 2, by 3 they need to be on toddler equipment and let out of arm's reach), I am within arm's reach. Otherwise, part of my job is knowing when to step back and let them learn what they can do by themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My recommendation is to conduct thorough interviews. First via emails and texts, then on the phone, then in person. Weed out the ones you wouldn't want to hire. You can't figure out a potential employee in just a 15 minute interaction. It takes some time to get to know them. Observe the person's interactions with your child.

Make a written list of 30 or more questions to ask during interviews before you even reach out to a potential employee.

But obviously no one is going to say they plan to be on FB at the pool.... barring lousy interview skills everyones going to say they are fun, engaging, and active. But how do I convey that I actually want follow through. I'm assuming all the parents whos nannies I see at the park and pools told them when they interviewed they want them to interact with their child and be fun, but see how that turned out. I guess my point is they seem like $8 babysitters, just a set of eyes and a ride home, but I want to pay way more, and money isn't an issue, I just want a reasonable level of interaction, teaching, and care.

You seem to want constant interaction, which isn't good for your child. Singletons have to learn to make friends and play with other kids, while kids with siblings hav to learn to play with children other than just siblings. It doesn't come naturally for many children. There's been more than once that I've told my charges that I needed to text their father (and I sent him a quick snap of kids playing because I refuse to lie to them...), and then I've sat on the bench holding my phone and pretending to be busy while watching surreptitiously. If the child will seek out adult interaction instead of talking to other children, the nanny has to get creative. It doesn't mean that the nanny is ignoring the child or putting her own interests above the child's. I don't text anyone else while observing my charges. If the child has special needs, there's aren't any other kids or my charge is young enough to need help (1 or 2, by 3 they need to be on toddler equipment and let out of arm's reach), I am within arm's reach. Otherwise, part of my job is knowing when to step back and let them learn what they can do by themselves.

Someone above said something along the same lines. My son is a social butterfly as it is and I have no worries about him needing to learn to approach strange kids at the park and start a game of tag if they were there. I just want a sitter/nanny who will take it upon themselves to keep busy and do fun things. I don't want to hover or micromanage, I want to leave an envelope of cash so the sitter can do things spur of the moment, I want my son to enjoy his time after school with this person, and I'd like him to keep busy and learn new things. It's not much. I'm not asking for chores or cleaning or anything else.

[Anonymous]

Ask the sitter what she would do with him on a typical week. Ask her references how she spent her time with their kids. Ask her what she enjoys about being a nanny.
Ask what are her top 5 favorite outings with a child the same age as your kid.

I posted upthread about the fact that I do sometimes "ignore" my charges when we are at an event primarily for them to socialize with peers. It sounds like what you want isn't someone who never texts, but someone who knows how to structure their time with your son to be exciting, stimulating and memorable. If you asked the above questions during an interview with me, I would be able to tell you lots of ideas for how to spend time off the top of my head, and I would include in my list of great things about being a nanny that I love to explore museums, nature, etc. with my charges. I would havemy top 5 list ready to go. My former employers would tell you that I spent my time with their kids teaching them to cook,nsetting up projects, teaching games, keeping them physically active and going on adventures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask the sitter what she would do with him on a typical week. Ask her references how she spent her time with their kids. Ask her what she enjoys about being a nanny.
Ask what are her top 5 favorite outings with a child the same age as your kid.

I posted upthread about the fact that I do sometimes "ignore" my charges when we are at an event primarily for them to socialize with peers. It sounds like what you want isn't someone who never texts, but someone who knows how to structure their time with your son to be exciting, stimulating and memorable. If you asked the above questions during an interview with me, I would be able to tell you lots of ideas for how to spend time off the top of my head, and I would include in my list of great things about being a nanny that I love to explore museums, nature, etc. with my charges. I would havemy top 5 list ready to go. My former employers would tell you that I spent my time with their kids teaching them to cook,nsetting up projects, teaching games, keeping them physically active and going on adventures.

8.56 again. This is exactly what I meant. A decent nanny knows the difference between allowing a child the freedom to play with other children without interference from the nanny and playing with the child when nobody else is around. She will be able to speak about what her experience is with children of various ages, as well as what she likes about the age level.

[Anonymous]

I feel like too many nannies are too lazy for you to find someone who can function reliably in such a laid back job. You will need to micromanage.