vacation request process

[Anonymous]

We are constantly disappointed in our nanny's approach to her time-off - doctor appts, other appts, and her vacation. She either doesn't tell us until the last minute, or tells us and changes her mind, or never works with us to pick a suitable date. It is a mess and a real time sink.

Now she has done it again with her week-long summer vacation. We emailed her our July (7 days off) and August trip (5 days off) and urged her to travel then and work with us.
She wrote back that she is taking her birthday week off at end of August, a different week, because that is when her friends' bosses let them take off (ironically). This is a difficult week due to school starting, work travel and the hassle of replacement childcare.

She actually does not have any of her vacation days left due to taking 13 full or half-days off since January 1st (dentist, doctor, court dates, car stuff). We also do not due to covering for her half that time or phoning up babysitters, flying in grandparents, etc.

We just wish she'd go over her vacation options with us just like every other employee does. You see what dates work with your employer (and in our case we need written approval to take vacation, so nothing is covert or billed wrong), and then go plan your trip one of those weeks!

What process do you guys use? Please be realistic. Most jobs have an element of request, notice, and work-around plan.

[Anonymous]

You have 2 different issues - one is that your nanny does not seem to be trying to work with you on small things like appointments and scheduling in general and the second is that she is using more time off than it sounds like she has. For the first issue, I would have a discussion that she needs to clear appointments and time off with you before making definite plans and in return you will do the courtesy of trying to work with her as much as possible to give her preferred dates. For the second issue we simply have a policy that our nanny is welcome to request additional time off beyond the PTO days that we give, but if she's out of PTO days then any other days taken will be unpaid.

We have been lucky with having courteous nannies who will ask before scheduling Dr appointments, etc if a certain day or time is ok - and it almost always is but I appreciate that they check first. They have also always asked to make sure that their vacation plans would work for us instead of arbitrarily announcing that they would be gone from x-y. There have been times when it was clear that they really did not want to change dates, but I've also worked to set up reliable backup care so that our nanny is able to take off pretty much whenever she asks since I figure I'd appreciate the same courtesy from my job. Admittedly, I know that it is also important to make vacation plans around what is going on with work so I would never ask to have off during a particularly hectic time.

I would always appreciate it if our nanny would plan her vacation at the same time as ours, but I recognize that I'm giving her PTO so she's going to use those days at some point in addition to when we're on vacation so I may as well be prepared to accommodate her chosen time off. Honestly, if my nanny was out of vacation days by June and then told me she was choosing one of the busiest weeks of the year to take off, I'd probably feel like she didn't respect me or the job and start looking for someone who would.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here- That's absurd. Totally unacceptable! I tell my bosses at least 3 months in advance and really try to work with their dates.

[Anonymous]

We have a shared family calendar (via google). Nanny can take 2 weeks vacation of her choice) we take about 3. Everything goes on the family calendar, including vacation black out dates.

We also put very important work dates on the calendar that cannot be interrupted (audits and such) and she knows not to schedule Dr's appts. We ask for 2 weeks notice of Dr's appts and ask for vacation notice ASAP.

Email and text is a horrible way to communicate (for me). We've found the shared online family calendar to be excellent. She also knows the kids schedule with that. I get an alert whenever she adds or makes changes to the calendar.

[Anonymous]

This is one of those issues that I think requires an actual sit-down discussion (I'm a MB). It involves money, what you think you are entitled to, her feelings of independence, potential resentment, etc.. Do this face to face, as if you were an HR person.

Before you sit down with her, decide what you would like the system to be, and how you will implement it.

Finally, she should already know her PTO is used up, and that any additional days would be unpaid. You needed to clarify with her that half days for doctor's appointments and such were coming out of her PTO. It seems ridiculous to those of us with jobs, but a lot of young people think it's like school, where it's an "excused absence" or something, and doesn't "count" as missed work.

I have lines on my nanny's pay stub that say how much PTO she used during the pay period and how much she has left. I also list upcoming paid holidays, and if there are holidays I don't pay for (like Columbus Day), I list those too so that there's no confusion when it rolls around. I also encourage you to go with an accrual method vs. everything at the beginning of the year (we do 1 day PTO per month, all nanny's choice).

[Anonymous]

You need to find a new nanny and tell her that your jobs are dependent on her showing up. You cannot pay her for the week she is on vacation as she has used up her vacation time and you need to pay for alternative care. You need to tell her that in less it is an emergency you need xxx notice for medical and other appointemnts.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here and this is stunningly inconsiderate. I think it's tough because obviously you have set a precedent here that this is okay, so it's going to take a full come-to-jesus talk to rectify things.

[Anonymous]

Where is the problem?!? If she doesn't have any vacation days left... Hopefully at least she won't be paid for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is the problem?!? If she doesn't have any vacation days left... Hopefully at least she won't be paid for that.

Even if they manage to find a temp for the same rate as their regular nanny, it is still very disruptive to the kids and family to have a sub that week. A great nanny takes into account how her vacations will have the least impact on her charges and at least tries to plan accordingly.

--Nanny

[Anonymous]

You need to take control, OP. She has no more vacation left. So she can't take vacation. It's that simple. If she chooses to "take unpaid vacation" that's job abandonment.

[Anonymous]

Even if she had 13 sick days and not PTO days, nannies should be conversating with their family about what weeks off make sense for everyone. It's not about notice, it is about communication and respect.
Providing reliable childcare means you are reliable.

[Anonymous]

Covering for her even more than five half days would Pisa me off. Maybe nannying is not for her.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she thought all her personal appointments were Sick Days? (Which they are not, you can't just duck out if you are in charge of children 8-9 hours a day!!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she thought all her personal appointments were Sick Days? (Which they are not, you can't just duck out if you are in charge of children 8-9 hours a day!!)

Am I wrong, I thought most jobs considered doctors appointments part of the sick leave package and wrap all appointments part of the vacation package? That's how I handle it for work. I do my best to arrange my appointments around MB's schedule and do it early in the morning so I am available after. I would move my appointment if it conflicted with MB.

My vacation time requires a notice and I always give as much as possible, but it is open for me to take at my choosing, not theirs. Their vacation is additional time off and does not effect my vacation time. I would never take more time than given. I do not expect unlimited time off, paid or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she thought all her personal appointments were Sick Days? (Which they are not, you can't just duck out if you are in charge of children 8-9 hours a day!!)

Am I wrong, I thought most jobs considered doctors appointments part of the sick leave package and wrap all appointments part of the vacation package? That's how I handle it for work. I do my best to arrange my appointments around MB's schedule and do it early in the morning so I am available after. I would move my appointment if it conflicted with MB.

My vacation time requires a notice and I always give as much as possible, but it is open for me to take at my choosing, not theirs. Their vacation is additional time off and does not effect my vacation time. I would never take more time than given. I do not expect unlimited time off, paid or not.

It depends on the contract. Some specify vacation, PTO and sick days separately, some do vacation and PTO/sick, some just do generic PTO. I don't know anyone who uses sick days for appointments unless they are combined, that's what PTO is for.

In my contracts, I specifically state that the family needs to give me a minimum of 2 months notice if I'm expected to use my vacation time while my employer is on vacation. I always give my employer a minimum of 3 months notice for vacation if choosing outside of those dates, and 3 weeks for PTO.