Sensitive??

[Anonymous]

How would you handle this situation. Your nanny family tells you how wonderful you are and how you are such a great fit for their family. Always stating they have no clue what they did before me. But last couple days it's been that but then with some negative comment or something the children don't like. I guess the mom has had issue in past telling nannies things. But constantly saying something nice then saying something negative doesn't make it okay. I was also told I don't seem sensitive. I'm actually very sensitive but when you are stating something you don't like I do I'm not going to show emotions. How do you guys suggest I handle this. I hate to think every time I'm told something positive there will be a negative right behind it.

[Anonymous]

Just a little background I've been with the family 4 months.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like they're trying to lessen the impact of giving you negative feedback and just doing it wrong.

Just take the criticism and apply it to doing your job differently.

[Anonymous]

Can you give a few examples?

[Anonymous]

Pretend your a grown up. How would you handle the situation. Do that.

[Anonymous]

They are probably trying to lessen the negative by saying something positive. It's a pretty common approacb

[Anonymous]

Their last comment makes it sound like they think you aren't listening or that you don't care.

[Anonymous]

I would be honest and tell them that you feel like every time they say something positive it will be followed by a negative and you've grown to expect it and steel yourself emotionally for the put down. Let the chips fall where they made. If they're telling you negatives often, they may not be all that happy with you and I'd see it as a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretend your a grown up. How would you handle the situation. Do that.

Pretend you can spell before handing out such helpful advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their last comment makes it sound like they think you aren't listening or that you don't care.

Well that's not true because next day I'll change what she asked me to and she'll thank me for changing.

Example: can the kids have downtime first before hw, dinner and baths.
Next day I did that and the kids were much happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their last comment makes it sound like they think you aren't listening or that you don't care.

Well that's not true because next day I'll change what she asked me to and she'll thank me for changing.

Example: can the kids have downtime first before hw, dinner and baths.
Next day I did that and the kids were much happier.

How is that a negative remark? She is just giving you an instruction.

[Anonymous]

I am a Nanny & tend to be extra-sensitive regarding my bosses and what they think of my work performance. Add to that I also am a huge people pleaser. Ugh.

I wouldn't like receiving praise only to be followed by some critique afterward. I don't think you would even have to be sensitive in nature to feel as if you are being stabbed by a double-edged sword.

It sounds like your boss simply has poor communication skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their last comment makes it sound like they think you aren't listening or that you don't care.

Well that's not true because next day I'll change what she asked me to and she'll thank me for changing.

Example: can the kids have downtime first before hw, dinner and baths.
Next day I did that and the kids were much happier.

How is that a negative remark? She is just giving you an instruction.

Yeah, if this is an example of the "criticism," then you are definitely oversensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Nanny & tend to be extra-sensitive regarding my bosses and what they think of my work performance. Add to that I also am a huge people pleaser. Ugh.

I wouldn't like receiving praise only to be followed by some critique afterward. I don't think you would even have to be sensitive in nature to feel as if you are being stabbed by a double-edged sword.

It sounds like your boss simply has poor communication skills.

But it's not even a criticism! It's an instruction about how to do something that the nanny couldn't have known.

It sounds like she's so sensitive that she takes everything as criticism, and the MB is trying to tell her it's not a criticism, its just something she'd like done differently.

It would drive me batty if I said "let's try putting Larla down an hour earlier; her bedtime has been awful this week," and the nanny took that to mean she was doing something wrong. How would she know about bedtime?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Nanny & tend to be extra-sensitive regarding my bosses and what they think of my work performance. Add to that I also am a huge people pleaser. Ugh.

I wouldn't like receiving praise only to be followed by some critique afterward. I don't think you would even have to be sensitive in nature to feel as if you are being stabbed by a double-edged sword.

It sounds like your boss simply has poor communication skills.

But it's not even a criticism! It's an instruction about how to do something that the nanny couldn't have known.

It sounds like she's so sensitive that she takes everything as criticism, and the MB is trying to tell her it's not a criticism, its just something she'd like done differently.

It would drive me batty if I said "let's try putting Larla down an hour earlier; her bedtime has been awful this week," and the nanny took that to mean she was doing something wrong. How would she know about bedtime?

Agreed. OP, you are being over sensitive to the point it could cause you to lose your job. Being given instruction on how to do things is not criticism. Now, if you can't handle a parent giving you instruction on their kids...you need to find a family that will let you have total contro.l