Very Religious Nanny for Non-religious family?

[Anonymous]

Hello!

We are looking at transitioning to a full time nanny for our 2 and 5 yos. We've been contacted by a number of qualified and engaging applicants, but in a couple of cases the email/phone/face-to-face correspondence have been peppered with highly religious language. To each his own, but my husband is an atheist and I am agnostic at best. Neither of us wants our kids exposed to religion without our oversight (following a bad experience when one of the grandmothers started talking about hell and salvation to DS and things were a mess for a while after).

Anyone have any thoughts if this situation could work or will likely be a bad fit?

[Anonymous]

What is the problem? You do not hire the religious nanny

[Anonymous]

Wearing a cross and saying she goes to church? Fine. Peppering her email about a job with highly religious language? Not professional and not ok. She clearly doesn't see the line between practicing your own religion and promoting it to others.

[Anonymous]

I think it would be a bad fit OP.

Make clear in your hiring process that you are a non-religious household. We explicity stated something along those lines and that any education on religious or moral values would come primarily from, or with direction of, the parents.

I actually don't think it's particularly fair or reasonable to expect someone who is deeply devout to keep that hidden all day so I don't think it's a good fit simply for that reason alone.

[Anonymous]

I had this problem a year or so ago. We ended up going with someone else. Here's the thread if you're interested: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/nanny-forum/posts/list/299329.page

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. I completely agree that religion should come from the parents UNLESS the parents ask the nanny to share language/religion/culture. I don't see morals in the same light that I do religion, and I won't take a job if I'm not allowed to talk to kids about what is or is not right (moral). If the child is at least 2 or 3, they are capable of understanding that some things aren't acceptable to anyone (hitting, biting, screaming). They need to understand that it's not just the adult in charge who has an issue with some things, it's everyone.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks all for weighing in and thanks for the link to the previous thread, pp. I couldn't agree more that moral education is an important component of childcare. My aversion/concern is making sure that moral education isn't packaged in religious beliefs. I really really like one of the nanny applicants and the kids just seemed to connect almost instantly with her. That said, there were numerous mentions of god (in somewhat innocuous context, as in "God has blessed me" and mentioning her salvation in the interview...so I am just torn.

We would never ask her to hid or limit own practice (hell, I don't care if she prays in front of the kids as long as it isn't all day) but I just can't imagine having the awkward talk about "hey, when larlo asks you about praying, remember to keep it to a brief note about your personal beliefs and no evangelizing"

Based on feedback here, and my gut, I think it is probably best we chose an alternative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks all for weighing in and thanks for the link to the previous thread, pp. I couldn't agree more that moral education is an important component of childcare. My aversion/concern is making sure that moral education isn't packaged in religious beliefs. I really really like one of the nanny applicants and the kids just seemed to connect almost instantly with her. That said, there were numerous mentions of god (in somewhat innocuous context, as in "God has blessed me" and mentioning her salvation in the interview...so I am just torn.

We would never ask her to hid or limit own practice (hell, I don't care if she prays in front of the kids as long as it isn't all day) but I just can't imagine having the awkward talk about "hey, when larlo asks you about praying, remember to keep it to a brief note about your personal beliefs and no evangelizing"

Based on feedback here, and my gut, I think it is probably best we chose an alternative.

I agree OP. I'd keep looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be a bad fit OP.

Make clear in your hiring process that you are a non-religious household. We explicity stated something along those lines and that any education on religious or moral values would come primarily from, or with direction of, the parents.

I actually don't think it's particularly fair or reasonable to expect someone who is deeply devout to keep that hidden all day so I don't think it's a good fit simply for that reason alone.

No, OP does not need to advertise that her household is not religious. How ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I personally wouldn't want a nanny who openly discusses religion upfront, this is a red flag that your child will most definitely be exposed to at least some talk of religion during their time spent with the new nanny.

I'm not saying that they may become indoctrinated but you just never know and don't want to take such a chance.

This is just my OWN personal opinion and how I am.
I never ever discuss religion with either my bosses or my charges. Period.

I just feel as if it is none of my business what they believe.
I also think that it is the parents choice on how to handle any topic related to Bible teachings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks all for weighing in and thanks for the link to the previous thread, pp. I couldn't agree more that moral education is an important component of childcare. My aversion/concern is making sure that moral education isn't packaged in religious beliefs. I really really like one of the nanny applicants and the kids just seemed to connect almost instantly with her. That said, there were numerous mentions of god (in somewhat innocuous context, as in "God has blessed me" and mentioning her salvation in the interview...so I am just torn.

We would never ask her to hid or limit own practice (hell, I don't care if she prays in front of the kids as long as it isn't all day) but I just can't imagine having the awkward talk about "hey, when larlo asks you about praying, remember to keep it to a brief note about your personal beliefs and no evangelizing"

Based on feedback here, and my gut, I think it is probably best we chose an alternative.

Yeah that's what I'd do. If you keep looking you'll find someone else who will click with your kids. The whole "God has blessed me" thing really bugs me. Does that mean god doesn't love people dying of a disease? I don't equate morals and ethics with religion at all.