When did you know it was time to move on...

[Anonymous]

We have been in a nanny share for over three years - all going well, great nanny. But all of a sudden, things are just not working. Our nanny, while normally sweet and wonderful, has all of a sudden been very negative and seems unhappy. It is not just one thing but over time, things are just not right. Was there one thing that finally told you it was time to move on? Our DD is 3.5 and we probably fine to go to full-time preschool/daycare.

[Anonymous]

Simple. Time to move on.

[Anonymous]

If I were you I'd move on.

I knew it was time to move on when the nanny stopped doing lots of things. Like, they'd play outside and she'd leave the toys on the front lawn. She'd eat lunch and leave her dishes on the counter rather than rinse and put them in the dishwasher. She used to get out pjs and towel for bath and stopped doing that.

We talked with her to ask if something was wrong, listed out the issues, asked if she would go back to doing those things, and she was vaguely non-committal and didn't do them, so we got someone new.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I did lots of extras that weren't part of my job, until I noticed nothing was appreciated. No thank you, no bonus, nothing. Still loved and cared for the poor child.

[Anonymous]

It could be a variety of factors OP, but the bottle line here is that I wouldn't want my child in the care of someone who just wasn't happy w/her job in general.

Yes, it's time to move on.....

Have you tried speaking to your nanny first?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she is unhappy in her job.

Are you fair employers?
Does she get vacation/sick pay?
What do you pay her hourly? $22hr is standard for nanny share.
Does she manage her own day, able to take kids places?
Did something happen in her family/personal life?
You have had her as a nanny for a long time, I would not just get rid of her.

PP(17:21) Nannies don't just stop doing things, I am sure you were difficult to work for, and didn't pay very well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I were you I'd move on.

I knew it was time to move on when the nanny stopped doing lots of things. Like, they'd play outside and she'd leave the toys on the front lawn. She'd eat lunch and leave her dishes on the counter rather than rinse and put them in the dishwasher. She used to get out pjs and towel for bath and stopped doing that.

We talked with her to ask if something was wrong, listed out the issues, asked if she would go back to doing those things, and she was vaguely non-committal and didn't do them, so we got someone new.

Job creep. If you want all these extras, PAY FOR THEM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I did lots of extras that weren't part of my job, until I noticed nothing was appreciated. No thank you, no bonus, nothing. Still loved and cared for the poor child.

This. PP who said her nanny stopped putting out PJs and and a towel for bath, that sounds like your job and she was being extra helpful. She probably felt unappreciated. Employers can get too comfortable too, especially after a couple of years, and they forget what's actually her job and what's extras they no longer appreciate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were you I'd move on.

I knew it was time to move on when the nanny stopped doing lots of things. Like, they'd play outside and she'd leave the toys on the front lawn. She'd eat lunch and leave her dishes on the counter rather than rinse and put them in the dishwasher. She used to get out pjs and towel for bath and stopped doing that.

We talked with her to ask if something was wrong, listed out the issues, asked if she would go back to doing those things, and she was vaguely non-committal and didn't do them, so we got someone new.

Job creep. If you want all these extras, PAY FOR THEM

Right. Better post title, "3 years in, my nanny seems tired of doing things for free. Is it time to find a new person to underpay?"

OP your kids aren't babies anymore. Nanny doesn't have as much down time anymore, and she can't get as many non child related things done during the day. Your children are also likely more difficult day in and out, and it sounds like your nanny is burned out and feeling unappreciated. She's working harder, you're focussed on what she's not doing, and perhaps you haven't been totally fair when it comes to raises, bonuses, time off, and recognition for the increasing difficulty of her job. Happy employees don't suddenly stop being awesome.

[Anonymous]

It was a combination of things, but it got to the point that I felt I was catering to her demands and she wasn't fulfilling her duties as specified in our contract.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the job creep poster.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'd ask her what is going on. It could be a personal or family issue that has nothing to do with her job. We all go through rough patches. She could also be worrying that at this age you're going to be putting your child in preschool and letting her go. I ran into this with our first nanny. She was super stressed and kept talking about how most people put their kids in preschool at X age. I though DC was way too young and responded to that effect very casually. She was immediately elated and relieved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were you I'd move on.

I knew it was time to move on when the nanny stopped doing lots of things. Like, they'd play outside and she'd leave the toys on the front lawn. She'd eat lunch and leave her dishes on the counter rather than rinse and put them in the dishwasher. She used to get out pjs and towel for bath and stopped doing that.

We talked with her to ask if something was wrong, listed out the issues, asked if she would go back to doing those things, and she was vaguely non-committal and didn't do them, so we got someone new.

Job creep. If you want all these extras, PAY FOR THEM

You need to get paid extra to clean up your own damn lunch dishes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were you I'd move on.

I knew it was time to move on when the nanny stopped doing lots of things. Like, they'd play outside and she'd leave the toys on the front lawn. She'd eat lunch and leave her dishes on the counter rather than rinse and put them in the dishwasher. She used to get out pjs and towel for bath and stopped doing that.

We talked with her to ask if something was wrong, listed out the issues, asked if she would go back to doing those things, and she was vaguely non-committal and didn't do them, so we got someone new.

Job creep. If you want all these extras, PAY FOR THEM

You need to get paid extra to clean up your own damn lunch dishes?

Maybe, just maybe, the nanny has her hands full with two toddlers? Maybe PP is the type to leave a sink full of dirty dishes and to clean up nanny has to clean up after them first. After a couple of years of that, most people would get fed up. Maybe she thought this was part of the give and take. She cleans their breakfast and dinner dishes, can't they handle a couple of dishes from lunch? The only way to know what the issue is would be to have a discussion with your nanny. Be a manager not a complainer.