Ok, I get that you are sick. You were sick Thursday, Friday, and you called yesterday to tell me that you were again calling out Monday (today).
Thanks for the call, but don't go on and on about how you feel 'terrible' about calling out. When you do that you are asking me to say 'it's ok'- and really it's annoying. Take your sick days, we will adjust work schedules (again) but don't try to get me to make you feel better about calling out- again. Take your vitamin C, rest, and get back to life. |
Have you considered that her guilt and her need to go on and on are a result of your attitude? She can tell that you hold it against her. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to show her some empathy. Let her know that it IS okay! It stresses you obviously, but that's your problem not hers. |
I hate this too. I am sorry that you are sick. But I have other stuff to do right now than assuage your guilt. Like attend to my children. And call around for back-up care. Call your mom if you want someone to talk to for hours about your feelings.
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Your relationship will be much better with your nanny when you don't make her feel even more terrible when she is sick. If she is sick all the time that is one thing, but if she is usually great and reliable then give her a break. |
I feel like this too, sorry nannies. We're human, too. |
That is why a backup plan is so crucial! Your nanny shouldn't be expected to never need a day off, and its your responsibility to handle it when she does. If you don't want her to try to get you to say it's okay, don't make her feel like it's not. Sorry, but this is really a problem of your own creation. |
I'm not the pp, but my back up plan, and I am guessing a lot of peoples plans include four or five people they know, maybe an agency, or taking off work myself. This is a lot of phone calls, favor asking, money spent or lost, and not all together stress free. Unless you have one child and retired parent living nearby, no one has free, unlimited back up care. |
Oh, and no one apologizes or feels bad about taking off when they have a heart attack or pneumonia. You apologize when it's a cold and you probably could have come in anyway. |
None of these are your nanny's issue. Lots of nanny's have a hard time paying their bills on their paltry pay. It's said over and over again that that burden rests fully on the nanny and not the family. This is no different. It's your burden to bear, and you should stop guilting your nanny about it if you don't want her to try to make it better. They are her sick days and you don't get to decide for her what is "sick enough" to use them. Maybe she only has the sniffles, but she didn't sleep well, and your child is a PITA on Mondays and she just didn't feel up to it. Not up to you. Get over yourself and try thinking about someone other than yourself for a 5 minute phone call. |
Dude. No one said she couldn't use them. Just having to tell her over and over again that it's fine gets annoying. |
I know it can be annoying when your nanny calls in sick OP, but if this is the first time that she has done this, offer her a little slack please.
She probably feels horrible because she knows she is putting you out, yet everything is out of her control. As her employer it is YOUR responsibility to have back up childcare in place since your nanny can fall ill anytime. |
Nanny here- Does she have the plague? Otherwise staying home 5 days is ridiculous. I haven't taken 5 days in the 7 years I've been employed with my family! |
Enough with the sick day shaming. We don't need nannies doing it too. |
FYI OP there are a number of nannies out there that don't get sick constantly and won't take sick day after sick day (I'm one, never taken a sick day.) |
Do you need a medal for your superior martyrdom? Better yet, how is your personal experience relevant here? OP was talking about her nanny apologizing for being sick...clearly something you would NEVER need to do. |