I found out my mother died at work...

[Anonymous]

I was at work when I found out that my mother died. It was tragic and very sudden.
Thankfully the baby was sleeping and the oldest was with his grandma for the day.
I had to go tell DB, who was in his office. He came upstairs just as I was completely breaking down. I am normally very professional, friendly and "together" while I'm at work, but I was sobbing almost hysterically and was barely in control of myself. DB waited with me while my husband drove over to pick me up. While things have gone back to normal at work, I can't help but wonder if an employer witnesses their employee in this state if it changes their view of them in an unfavorable way. MBs-would this change the way you feel about your nanny?

[Anonymous]

MB here. I would never think less of anyone who was grieving - employee or not. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I would never think less of anyone who was grieving - employee or not. I'm so sorry for your loss.

This. Perhaps a short-term therapist would be useful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I would never think less of anyone who was grieving - employee or not. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Ditto.

Don't worry about it OP, we are all human and we all experience grief.

[Anonymous]

You lost your mother! Of course not.

[Anonymous]

If an employer thought less of you for something like this then you should quit and never look back.

[Anonymous]

I think there's something to be said for waiting until you're home to break down and it was unprofessional of you. A better way to have handled it would have been to call your husband if you couldn't trust yourself to drive safely, to come pick you up, and then go tell the DB your mom just died, and while you're holding it together telling him, don't think you can do your job correctly and need to go home. Then cry when you're with your husband.

But be warned, I say this being a very stoic person who is EXCELLENT in a crisis, and I know not everyone can manage what I described above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there's something to be said for waiting until you're home to break down and it was unprofessional of you. A better way to have handled it would have been to call your husband if you couldn't trust yourself to drive safely, to come pick you up, and then go tell the DB your mom just died, and while you're holding it together telling him, don't think you can do your job correctly and need to go home. Then cry when you're with your husband.

But be warned, I say this being a very stoic person who is EXCELLENT in a crisis, and I know not everyone can manage what I described above.

Go get yourself a mental health evaluation, troll.

[Anonymous]

Of course not! Your mom died! You had no idea it was coming. That's very tragic.

[Anonymous]

I'm not an MB, but I would actually find it disconcerting if I was with someone when they got the news that their mother had died, and they didn't react. I wouldn't worry about it OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's something to be said for waiting until you're home to break down and it was unprofessional of you. A better way to have handled it would have been to call your husband if you couldn't trust yourself to drive safely, to come pick you up, and then go tell the DB your mom just died, and while you're holding it together telling him, don't think you can do your job correctly and need to go home. Then cry when you're with your husband.

But be warned, I say this being a very stoic person who is EXCELLENT in a crisis, and I know not everyone can manage what I described above.

Go get yourself a mental health evaluation, troll.

I am pretty sure that most mental health providers would understand his perspective and are also capable of not losing their cool at work and are able to at least handle it until they get to the parking garage.

But I don't think this level of professionalism is needed or really even wanted in a nanny. Who even wants a stoic nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's something to be said for waiting until you're home to break down and it was unprofessional of you. A better way to have handled it would have been to call your husband if you couldn't trust yourself to drive safely, to come pick you up, and then go tell the DB your mom just died, and while you're holding it together telling him, don't think you can do your job correctly and need to go home. Then cry when you're with your husband.

But be warned, I say this being a very stoic person who is EXCELLENT in a crisis, and I know not everyone can manage what I described above.

Go get yourself a mental health evaluation, troll.

I am pretty sure that most mental health providers would understand his perspective and are also capable of not losing their cool at work and are able to at least handle it until they get to the parking garage.

But I don't think this level of professionalism is needed or really even wanted in a nanny. Who even wants a stoic nanny?

I disagree. That poster is full of herself.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry for your loss. It is a very normal reaction and if you didn't react, I'd worry far more than reacting. I would not think twice about it. You have enough pain, without worrying about getting upset over a major loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there's something to be said for waiting until you're home to break down and it was unprofessional of you. A better way to have handled it would have been to call your husband if you couldn't trust yourself to drive safely, to come pick you up, and then go tell the DB your mom just died, and while you're holding it together telling him, don't think you can do your job correctly and need to go home. Then cry when you're with your husband.

But be warned, I say this being a very stoic person who is EXCELLENT in a crisis, and I know not everyone can manage what I described above.

You are truly an awful person. Her mother died!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's something to be said for waiting until you're home to break down and it was unprofessional of you. A better way to have handled it would have been to call your husband if you couldn't trust yourself to drive safely, to come pick you up, and then go tell the DB your mom just died, and while you're holding it together telling him, don't think you can do your job correctly and need to go home. Then cry when you're with your husband.

But be warned, I say this being a very stoic person who is EXCELLENT in a crisis, and I know not everyone can manage what I described above.

You are truly an awful person. Her mother died!

Exactly. She's probably suffering from her own attachment disorder.