How much do you help your nanny on non-work related matters?

[Anonymous]

Our nanny is wonderful, professional and kind but not from the United States (LPR status). She has a hard time with a lot of things due to her lack of computer skills. We helped her enroll in health insurance, file a tax return, buy a car. All of which we are delighted to do but curious if others go out of their way to help? Nothing was that big of a deal but I don't want to create a situation where we are doing WAY too much. She is alone and want to help but getting a little scared about how she will do without us!!!

[Anonymous]

You sound like a very kind employer, but I think it's important to have some professional boundaries. Maybe in the future you can point her in the direction of resources and people to help her, rather than doing it for her. This way she is learning some new skills and not continuing to be dependent upon you, but you aren't the asshole who coldly watched her flounder.

[Anonymous]

our manny is technically not from this country, but is "only" Canadian so it's not an issue. I would not blur the lines that way OP. she needs a friend to help her through these things.

[Anonymous]

Canadian nanny here- When I moved her I didn't know anything about healthcare or drivers licences or anything. That's why I did this thing called research and calling the companies/agencies directly with and questions. Your nanny is way out of line!

[Anonymous]

Ps. She doesn't sound very professional to me. In my world acting like a professional is about respecting my employers and professional boundaries.

[Anonymous]

To smug Canadian nanny- do you not realize that you were fortunate enough to speak English, know how to use a computer, and have access to one? OP's nanny doesn't seem to have either of those going for her, and she trusts them. I agree that some boundaries might be in order, but sometimes human beings are human. It doesn't make her a bad person or employee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny is wonderful, professional and kind but not from the United States (LPR status). She has a hard time with a lot of things due to her lack of computer skills. We helped her enroll in health insurance, file a tax return, buy a car. All of which we are delighted to do but curious if others go out of their way to help? Nothing was that big of a deal but I don't want to create a situation where we are doing WAY too much. She is alone and want to help but getting a little scared about how she will do without us!!!

How soon should she plan to be on her own? Maybe let her know now.

[Anonymous]

Boundaries are good, OP. Point her in the direction to get help from an agency and let her go from there. You need to not be doing everything for her.

[Anonymous]

I would not help her personally but there is no harm in passing along resources she could use to help her self. Tax preparation places, the address for the dmv, whatever.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm kind of curious. Do you feel she is taking advantage of you? If so, then of course, set some boundaries. If not, I'm not sure what you mean about helping someone too much. It sounds like she wants and needs the help, you've stated it's nothing that's been a big deal so why don't you wait until you feel you are doing too much before looking for trouble?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not help her personally but there is no harm in passing along resources she could use to help her self. Tax preparation places, the address for the dmv, whatever.

Why wouldn't you help the person who cares for your child?

[Anonymous]

Op here. I do not feel burdened and want to help. Mostly I'm just worried about her after she's out of lives and curious if others were in a similair situation. I do not feel taken advantage of at all.

[Anonymous]

How long has she been in the States OP? What you are doing is very kind of you. If your nanny is literate, maybe you could direct her to a place where she could take computer classes etc? The US system is very complicated for immigrants and it takes a lot of research to navigate.

[Anonymous]

Not sure, I've only hired legal American nannies so I've never had to hold their hand and help them use the internet or sign some forms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I do not feel burdened and want to help. Mostly I'm just worried about her after she's out of lives and curious if others were in a similair situation. I do not feel taken advantage of at all.

It's because you don't feel taken advantage of that you're a great person to take advantage of. Eventually you will, and then you'll be SO confused and SO hurt and be all "After all these things I did for you ..."