Afraid my DH prefers our nanny

[Anonymous]

Not in a physical way as far as I know bit more in terms of the kids, house.

He is constantly making comments like oh Nanny's X turns so much better, text her for recipe? after I've cooked something. Or kids ate always amazing for nanny until you come home. Or if I'm there and they are crying and ask what's wrong he Butts in with probably because you're here.

The worst was when I was away this past week and upon returning he says something like things are smoother when I'm not around.

He says this in front of nanny and the kids.

I cant talk to him and admit I'm so insecure

[Anonymous]

He's completely inappropriate. Is there any way to reduce the nanny hours (between you and your husband)?

Are one of you home sometimes while the nanny's doing the child care?

[Anonymous]

You have to talk to him OP. THis isn't about the nannny - this is about your marriage.

You need to tell him how his comments are making you feel. I feel disrespected, I feel like you think I'm a bad mother, I feel like you prefer Y to me, I feel diminished and made fun of when you say those things in front of her, I feel hurt, etc...

This is about your marriage, and it's important. You are right to be upset - it isn't ok that he is doing this.

[Anonymous]

Why punish the nanny when the husband is a jerk???

[Anonymous]

Either A. Troll or B. Divorce.

[Anonymous]

Yeah this is either a troll post or you are being emotionally abused OP.

[Anonymous]

You NEED to talk to him.

[Anonymous]

Why can't you talk to your husband about this OP???

You definitely should be able to.

You're not insecure....Those comments would bother anyone. He has no right telling you all of that, most especially in front of the nanny as well as your children!!

Doing so is hugely disrespectful to you as both a wife and an individual.

You need to be truthful here however....Are you entirely sure he doesn't have a "thing" for your nanny??

[Anonymous]

Okay, I went back to reread OP's post.

It's possible that your DH prefers the nanny's cooking. While the timing and phrasing is terrible, voicing an opinion, and asking you to get her recipe says that he likes the way you cook, but prefers that recipe. Perhaps you could point out the timing and phrasing as issues to him, but get the recipe.

The rest of it is ridiculous. You both pay for the nanny, she's there to teach, love and nurture your children. Yes, there are times when very young children prefer the nanny, because she spends more time with them, but they outgrow it. Even then, there's is no reason for a spouse to act this way. It's definitely emotional abuse, and if it doesn't stop, perhaps you need to consider a separation or divorce.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like things would be smoother without him around too. Next time he says something like that it's an opening.

Sorry to be snarky, but DH can't just compare you to the nanny. Is he measuring up to her too?

He's being a jerk.