Thinking of letting our nanny go. Advice?

[Anonymous]

We have had a part-time nanny caring for our toddler daughter for a little over a month now, and I think that we're just not a good match. The nanny is very reserved and mostly just watches our daughter play rather than engaging her in play/games/songs/etc. She also spends a lot of time staring at her phone when she should be interacting with our daughter. Our daughter gets upset every morning when she sees the nanny come in (she doesn't do this with anyone else, including our other part-time nanny). When I check in on them using our camera (which she knows about) there is usually just silence or our daughter babbling to herself. She is a very fun-loving, curious, happy, and playful little girl, and it kills me to see her basically being ignored or just stared at by the nanny all day. I think that there is just a personality/style disconnect with what we are looking for, so we are thinking of finding a new nanny and letting her go. We've never had to let someone go before, so I'm unsure how to handle it. Any advice or thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Sure, you can always look around to see if you can find someone better. Perhaps the other better nanny can recommend someone.

[Anonymous]

Have you expressed your concerns? Maybe she is having issues finding things for them to do together. If you've talked to her, and given her ideas and opportunity to plan activities, I'd start your search and once you have a replacement, let her go with 2 weeks severance. I say to offer severance because it doesn't sound as though she's done anything wrong, just that she isn't a good fit for what you want for your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Can you afford a professional nanny?

[Anonymous]

What did she say during the interview to make her stand out. If there is a significant disconnect between what she said she would do with your child and what she actually does, I would think that you give you cause to terminate her. If it wasn't asked during the interview or she's technically doing what she said she would, yes, you need to give notice and/or severance as she's not a good fit, but you don't have cause.

What does she do with your daughter? Does she take her to any activities, do any crafts or games at your house? Honestly, it sounds like you hired a babysitter for a nanny position. While there's nothing wrong with someone who will keep your kids safe but doesn't want to really interact with them, that's obviously not what you want.

Good luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

Perhaps you can ask her first if she could possibly interact more with your daughter during the day. Perhaps even offer up some suggestions for them to do. I.e., read stories, play with Playdoh, an art project, etc.

If things do not change after that then I would give her 2-3 week notice and not feel guilty since after all you gave her a fair chance.

However be prepared to have her quit on the spot as usually occurs in situations such as this, good luck.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like you hired someone with experience. You can hire a beginner for a low wage, someone with experience for a mid wage, and a professional nanny for a high wage. Decide what you can afford and do a better job at finding the best your money can buy. You should give her severence as she is not necessarily in the wrong here.

[Anonymous]

I'm an MB and my heart breaks reading your description. It would really upset me to see that. That being said, before I fired her, I would explain my concerns to her, give her a warning, and give her a period of time to make changes (1 week? 2 weeks?). If it doesn't change for the better, I'd fire her and not think twice about it. You're paying for someone to take care of your daughter, not stare at her phone.

That being said, if you feel that this nanny is obviously not the right fit for your family (and it doesn't sound like she is) I would give her notice & then let her go. Your not obligated to keep someone employed when you don't like how they perform their job, especially when it's something as personal as caring for your toddler.

It's hard to tell someone you don't like how they do their job, but this is your kid, so sometimes you have to suck it up & do the hard thing. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you afford a professional nanny?

Yes, and what % of your monthly gross are you paying her?

[Anonymous]

You MBs don't know what it's like raising your children all day. Every time you are spying on your nanny with your little cameras like she's a panda in the zoo she is probably just taking a short break from spending every waking moment with your ill behaved demon spawn.

[Anonymous]

What is the rate you are paying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You MBs don't know what it's like raising your children all day. Every time you are spying on your nanny with your little cameras like she's a panda in the zoo she is probably just taking a short break from spending every waking moment with your ill behaved demon spawn.

Oh. Wow. I hope you aren't a nanny. Ill-behaved demon spawn?!
~Nanny who may get frustrated with parents, who may think that kids are having a bad day or rough phase, who would NEVER call children demon spawn!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You MBs don't know what it's like raising your children all day. Every time you are spying on your nanny with your little cameras like she's a panda in the zoo she is probably just taking a short break from spending every waking moment with your ill behaved demon spawn.

Actually nanny's have no idea in less they are parents. Its very different being a nanny than a paid employee doing their job.