Why should age be such a priority in a nanny share?

[Anonymous]

I see parents often desperately searching for a similarly aged baby. Why? Do parents ever wish they had twins? I see twin parents of babies wanting support because of the exhausting work of two babies at once.

Why not appreciate the benefits of having an older child with a younger child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see parents often desperately searching for a similarly aged baby. Why? Do parents ever wish they had twins? I see twin parents of babies wanting support because of the exhausting work of two babies at once.

Why not appreciate the benefits of having an older child with a younger child?

Because in a nanny share it's helpful for everyone if the kids are on the same schedule and doing the same things. A mom with two different aged kids can make a judgement call about interrupting a baby's nap to bring the toddler to music class or keeping a toddler indoors all day if a baby is having sleeping trouble, but a nanny in that situation is being asked to put one kid's needs above the other- and that's pitting one family's kids against another family's kid. It's easier for the nanny and both families if the kids are at the same place in their development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see parents often desperately searching for a similarly aged baby. Why? Do parents ever wish they had twins? I see twin parents of babies wanting support because of the exhausting work of two babies at once.

Why not appreciate the benefits of having an older child with a younger child?

Because in a nanny share it's helpful for everyone if the kids are on the same schedule and doing the same things. A mom with two different aged kids can make a judgement call about interrupting a baby's nap to bring the toddler to music class or keeping a toddler indoors all day if a baby is having sleeping trouble, but a nanny in that situation is being asked to put one kid's needs above the other- and that's pitting one family's kids against another family's kid. It's easier for the nanny and both families if the kids are at the same place in their development.

I hate to say you sound like a parent who hasn't studied child development or ever provided the full-time care of two unrelated little children of the same age. And I'm also a parent.

Btw, nannies make judgment calls all day, otherwise she isn't a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see parents often desperately searching for a similarly aged baby. Why? Do parents ever wish they had twins? I see twin parents of babies wanting support because of the exhausting work of two babies at once.

Why not appreciate the benefits of having an older child with a younger child?

Because in a nanny share it's helpful for everyone if the kids are on the same schedule and doing the same things. A mom with two different aged kids can make a judgement call about interrupting a baby's nap to bring the toddler to music class or keeping a toddler indoors all day if a baby is having sleeping trouble, but a nanny in that situation is being asked to put one kid's needs above the other- and that's pitting one family's kids against another family's kid. It's easier for the nanny and both families if the kids are at the same place in their development.

I hate to say you sound like a parent who hasn't studied child development or ever provided the full-time care of two unrelated little children of the same age. And I'm also a parent.

Btw, nannies make judgment calls all day, otherwise she isn't a nanny.

Of course she does, but one family isn't going to be happy if their kid is woken up from their nap because of the needs of the other one etc on a regular basis. That's the nature of humans. Parents want the focus to be on meeting their own kids' needs- if the nanny has two kids from the same family, you don't get the tension. When you have two kids from different families, that's when there can be issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see parents often desperately searching for a similarly aged baby. Why? Do parents ever wish they had twins? I see twin parents of babies wanting support because of the exhausting work of two babies at once.

Why not appreciate the benefits of having an older child with a younger child?

Because in a nanny share it's helpful for everyone if the kids are on the same schedule and doing the same things. A mom with two different aged kids can make a judgement call about interrupting a baby's nap to bring the toddler to music class or keeping a toddler indoors all day if a baby is having sleeping trouble, but a nanny in that situation is being asked to put one kid's needs above the other- and that's pitting one family's kids against another family's kid. It's easier for the nanny and both families if the kids are at the same place in their development.

I hate to say you sound like a parent who hasn't studied child development or ever provided the full-time care of two unrelated little children of the same age. And I'm also a parent.

Btw, nannies make judgment calls all day, otherwise she isn't a nanny.

Of course she does, but one family isn't going to be happy if their kid is woken up from their nap because of the needs of the other one etc on a regular basis. That's the nature of humans. Parents want the focus to be on meeting their own kids' needs- if the nanny has two kids from the same family, you don't get the tension. When you have two kids from different families, that's when there can be issues.

An intelligent nanny will not regularly wake up one child because of another child, regardless of any parent insecurities. Why would she?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see parents often desperately searching for a similarly aged baby. Why? Do parents ever wish they had twins? I see twin parents of babies wanting support because of the exhausting work of two babies at once.

Why not appreciate the benefits of having an older child with a younger child?

Because in a nanny share it's helpful for everyone if the kids are on the same schedule and doing the same things. A mom with two different aged kids can make a judgement call about interrupting a baby's nap to bring the toddler to music class or keeping a toddler indoors all day if a baby is having sleeping trouble, but a nanny in that situation is being asked to put one kid's needs above the other- and that's pitting one family's kids against another family's kid. It's easier for the nanny and both families if the kids are at the same place in their development.

I hate to say you sound like a parent who hasn't studied child development or ever provided the full-time care of two unrelated little children of the same age. And I'm also a parent.

Btw, nannies make judgment calls all day, otherwise she isn't a nanny.

Of course she does, but one family isn't going to be happy if their kid is woken up from their nap because of the needs of the other one etc on a regular basis. That's the nature of humans. Parents want the focus to be on meeting their own kids' needs- if the nanny has two kids from the same family, you don't get the tension. When you have two kids from different families, that's when there can be issues.

An intelligent nanny will not regularly wake up one child because of another child, regardless of any parent insecurities. Why would she?

NP but what is it about this explanation that you aren't getting? Children of different ages have different schedules and sleep needs. An older child may only need 1 or 2 naps, while a younger child takes 3 naps. The older child needs more stimulation and activity. With siblings the parents make a call about which needs to prioritize. In a share, everyone wants their kid to be the priority. So does nanny prioritize getting the 2.5 year old to library story time, or does she prioritize the 1 year olds morning nap? One family won't be happy with the outcome either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see parents often desperately searching for a similarly aged baby. Why? Do parents ever wish they had twins? I see twin parents of babies wanting support because of the exhausting work of two babies at once.

Why not appreciate the benefits of having an older child with a younger child?

Similarly aged babies means the same schedule, same needs, same equipment, no need to juggle conflicting schedules, one type of entertainment works for both. It's not that nannies cannot handle two different-age children, it's that it's easier with two who are the same age. I wouldn't put my baby in a share with a toddler or preschooler without a pressing need.

There are benefits of having an older child with a younger child, but there are also disadvantages, so parents are choosing one set of benefits over the other.

[Anonymous]

And most parents with kids in a share have only one baby, so there aren't toys for other ages in the home. And a parent who has only a 3 year old doesn't have baby toys in their house any longer so the toys dont even work as they move from one share house to another.

And by the time people have 2 children of their own, they usually have their own nanny.

But you go ahead, put your 4 month old with a nanny with a 3 year old as the other share partner. See how it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see parents often desperately searching for a similarly aged baby. Why? Do parents ever wish they had twins? I see twin parents of babies wanting support because of the exhausting work of two babies at once.

Why not appreciate the benefits of having an older child with a younger child?

The parent isn't caring for two babies. Each parent only deals with their own child. The nanny gives care in the most equal way when the kids are the same age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And most parents with kids in a share have only one baby, so there aren't toys for other ages in the home. And a parent who has only a 3 year old doesn't have baby toys in their house any longer so the toys dont even work as they move from one share house to another.

And by the time people have 2 children of their own, they usually have their own nanny.

But you go ahead, put your 4 month old with a nanny with a 3 year old as the other share partner. See how it works.

Or the older child is in school and doesn't need a nanny, so only the younger child is in the share.

[Anonymous]

I'd actually prefer NOT to have two hungry babies at the same time. Bottle propping is not what I'll do, and neither should you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd actually prefer NOT to have two hungry babies at the same time. Bottle propping is not what I'll do, and neither should you.

I've worked with many sets of multiples as well a several shares and I have NEVER had to bottle prop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd actually prefer NOT to have two hungry babies at the same time. Bottle propping is not what I'll do, and neither should you.

I've worked with many sets of multiples as well a several shares and I have NEVER had to bottle prop.

Good.