I think this family think I am a housekeeper, advice please ?

[Anonymous]

Hey guys, I'd like to start by saying I have a weekday live in position and recently accepted a temp day gig for extra $$ with Christmas around. To start, I am caring for a 1 year old while this family nanny is on maternity leave. She's Filipino and she also cleans their house and does their laundry for extra $ so she basically was their housekeeper as well. I am not trying to start a controversy before anyone replies! But I know many people kind of disagrees on the nanny and housekeeping role. I strongly believe a nanny's job is to strictly take care of the child, straightening up after ourselves, doing that child's laundry on occasion and occasionally help with maybe putting dishes away ect.

Anyways, I started this new gig, the mom in law is here when I arrive and she comes back in the afternoon. I've been told plenty of times, they can't afford to pay someone for a full day and pay the maternity leave so I work 4hrs/day and granny comes in evening and get older kids and take care of all 3. So between the grandmother trying to run the home, and the parents giving me different duties some times it's gets frustrating. However, I noticed the family are very messy and when I mean messy, they basically throw everything in the sink, leave food on kitchen floor, crumbs everywhere, toys everywhere. The oldest is actually six so he could clean up before bed. So when I arrive in the mornings, the grandmother is always saying, this daughter of mine has always been messy, I wish she grows out of it ect. I would always play it off and say I understand some days, people get busy and can't get to things blah blah but she's like no, this is everyday, get used to it. Yesterday, I spent an hour just straightening this place up and the dad (works from home) said as long as the toddler is occupied and you can see him, he's safe, just straighten up. Today, they requested me to do laundry Also! I don't mind doing the toddler i care for but I've never done the family laundry. I'm not interested in spending 1/2 my day cleaning because they're too dirty to clean up after dinner so they leave it for me and the grandmother in the mornings. As I said, I know many nannies do this daily, however my question is for nannies who do not do housekeeping along with childcare. How would you approacj this family informing them, this was not apart of the agreement when I interviewed with them in Oct ?

[Anonymous]

I am not a nanny, I am a parent hence I can see how this can happen in a family. In case of some family emergency, or someone is sick or traveling, just do it for a couple of days, to help out like you would in your own family.
If this is their normality, as you describe, you have two options:
- use your contract, where you defined your duties with them, to asking about the "change of duties"
- if you do not have a contract, talk with them about defining the scope of your work, since you are a temp.
- if they do not agree to talking or changing something in the scope of your work, leave.
They maybe just messy and/or inconsiderate, and not necessary ill-intended.

[Anonymous]

and the dad (works from home) said as long as the toddler is occupied and you can see him, he's safe, just straighten up.

There is no way that I would prioritize laundry and cleaning the kitchen over taking care of the toddler (and I'm willing to do some housekeeping, if there's time). My main job is to take care of the children, physically, mentally and emotionally. That means that my time is spent with the children, talking and laughing, teaching and playing, and when they are in school or napping then I do kids' (or family) laundry, most cooking, vacuuming, etc. I don't see an issue with cooking for the toddler and having him play for a little while, but there's a conversation happening the whole time, I wouldn't be cooking and just watching him play. In your situation, I guess I can see why they would want you to do the laundry for all three kids, but only if it can be run as one big load. If you're part time, does the child nap while you are there? If not, you don't have time to do it, so they need to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

and the dad (works from home) said as long as the toddler is occupied and you can see him, he's safe, just straighten up.

There is no way that I would prioritize laundry and cleaning the kitchen over taking care of the toddler (and I'm willing to do some housekeeping, if there's time). My main job is to take care of the children, physically, mentally and emotionally. That means that my time is spent with the children, talking and laughing, teaching and playing, and when they are in school or napping then I do kids' (or family) laundry, most cooking, vacuuming, etc. I don't see an issue with cooking for the toddler and having him play for a little while, but there's a conversation happening the whole time, I wouldn't be cooking and just watching him play. In your situation, I guess I can see why they would want you to do the laundry for all three kids, but only if it can be run as one big load. If you're part time, does the child nap while you are there? If not, you don't have time to do it, so they need to do it.

she also cleans their house and does their laundry for extra $ so she basically was their housekeeper as well.

I just reread and caught that the nanny on maternity leave does the cleaning and laundry for extra money. You aren't getting extra money, heck, they're complaining about paying you fr part-time hours as it is. No, no cleaning other than tidying after yourself. And only your charge's laundry, maybe the older kids' too.

[Anonymous]

I think you have a few choices:

- decide you don't need this temporary gig that badly and just quit. Or, tell them that you're very sorry, but you aren't able to fill all of these roles and think they should look for someone else. You're happy to do the nannying part of the job that was initially discussed but you're not interested in the cleaning and housekeeping work for the family. Then see what they do.
- approach them and say that if they really need or want you to do the housekeeping work, along with the childcare, your rates for that would be ___ If they pay you, great. If they don't then you can tell them that you respect that but you will look for something else - or - that you will only plan to do what you initially discussed when they hired you.
- don't say anything to them but just only do the things they hired you to do. When asked or questions you can just respond "I'm sorry, I didn't think that was what you hired me for. I understood that your permanent nanny does that as add-on work outside the nannying job."

[Anonymous]

MB here, but I feel kind of bad for your MB. She is working FT, possibly the breadwinner in the family, and meanwhile her nanny, husband, and MIL are home gossiping about what a bad housekeeper she is.
I can also tell you that I can see my husband telling our nanny to clean the whole time she is watching the toddler. That's because he has never tried to do it and has no idea what a ridiculous thing he is asking. I personally have appreciated it when my nanny has texted me to make sure I want her to do something before getting upset.

[Anonymous]

You have a mouth. TELL THEM!

[Anonymous]

I think you should look for a different temp gig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here, but I feel kind of bad for your MB. She is working FT, possibly the breadwinner in the family, and meanwhile her nanny, husband, and MIL are home gossiping about what a bad housekeeper she is.
I can also tell you that I can see my husband telling our nanny to clean the whole time she is watching the toddler. That's because he has never tried to do it and has no idea what a ridiculous thing he is asking. I personally have appreciated it when my nanny has texted me to make sure I want her to do something before getting upset.

Good point, PP. OP, did you check with your MB to find out whether she wanted you to clean rather than doing anything with the toddler? Or is it just SAH DB who thinks cleaning is more important than the child?

[Anonymous]

16:28 OP here, the mom has a pretty "high level position "and travels a lot. I've actually only met her when I interviewed in Oct, I'll probably only see her if I was to ever do a date-night, which would be rare, that's 3 kids (1, 3, 6!) haha

Overall, I will continue to help and see how things go and if I'm still getting housekeeping requests mid next week, I will most certainly say something. Just as someone mentioned above, while I am making more than their nanny, she did it for extra $$, they didn't even offer me more $$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16:28 OP here, the mom has a pretty "high level position "and travels a lot. I've actually only met her when I interviewed in Oct, I'll probably only see her if I was to ever do a date-night, which would be rare, that's 3 kids (1, 3, 6!) haha

Overall, I will continue to help and see how things go and if I'm still getting housekeeping requests mid next week, I will most certainly say something. Just as someone mentioned above, while I am making more than their nanny, she did it for extra $$, they didn't even offer me more $$.

If she's never home, then she's not the poor housekeeper, DB is... I would have a discussion with him tomorrow, since he works from home.

[Anonymous]

OP is a doormat. Please speak up and stop it. Or get a new job.

[Anonymous]

if you wait until next week, they're going to think you're ok with the requests and are setting a bad precedent. They're going to wonder why you didn't say something in the first place. Nip it in the bud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is a doormat. Please speak up and stop it. Or get a new job.

. Hello...can you here me I was wondering if you ever loved your self or have respect to yourself.This is not a classy post at all in my opinion suck it up or move on If you can Will you?

[Anonymous]

I am a Nanny & one of my worst pet peeves is when families assume since I am in the house already, I might as well clean it up too.

Many families want a "2-for-1" deal, they want to pay Nanny wages, yet at the same time have that Nanny do housecleaning duties as well.

Since you NEVER agreed to such an arrangement OP, tell your bosses that you signed up for childcare ONLY. Meaning keeping their child fed, changed, entertained + safe. You never agreed to any housekeeping duties aside from the common sense things such as washing any dishes/bottles/cups used during your shift as well as picking up the toys/books that were used.

If you do not mind cleaning their home, let them know that you are willing to do some housework for them, but they must pay you a higher salary since at the same time you will be responsible for their child at the same time.

And if you don't want to do any chores, that is okay too. Just let them know you prefer to stick to the original agreement.