Sleep safety

[Anonymous]

I've told my nanny repeatedly not to have DC sleep with blankets. Baby is under a year.

This week I found DC not just with blankets but five other "pillows" in the crib. Nanny had placed
next to DC the mamaroo infant insert, Merlin sleep suit, stuffed animals and then a pillow under baby's head.

We had a firm discussion where she told me SIDS is make believe. I'm not certain I feel 100% comfortable
anymore. Would you fire immedietly or give one more chance?

[Anonymous]

Troll. No good parent would have to ask

[Anonymous]

OP here. Unfortunately I have to ask because my share partner was not
as concerned. Wanted to poll the Internet

[Anonymous]

If this is a genuine post, my advice is to not trust this person to watch your child again, not even one more day. How can a caregiver to infants say SIDS is not real?!? And the fact that you have, by your own words, "repeatedly" told her something, only to find out yourself that she deliberately went against your instructions, when it concerns the safety of your child, is grounds for immediate termination in my opinion.

Being in a share does complicate the matter. I'm surprised your share partner is not concerned about the safety of her own child, or the fact that the person you're paying to care for your children is acting in direct violation of your instructions, and isn't taking your concerns seriously at all.

If I were you, I would talk to my share partner once more, explain that you can no longer trust the judgment of the nanny, and therefore no longer feel your child is safe with her. I would tell her you'd like to continue to do a share with her, but only if you can agree to find a new nanny together (and when you do screen for new nannies, go over all of this: SIDS risks, baby sleeping with nothing else in crib, nanny needs to listen to your concerns and follow through on specific instructions, etc). If she disagrees, then tell her you will need to leave the share.

If the share partner is a friend of yours, you might consider covering your share of the nanny's wages for another week, just to help your friend out so nanny doesn't up and leave and maybe your friend can find a new share family.

I know this is a hard time to find a new nanny and/or a new family to do a share with, but these are SERIOUS concerns. You need a nanny who will listen to you, follow through on instructions, and also keep your baby safe!

-Nanny

[Anonymous]

Why are there blankets and pillows and such there for her to put in the crib.

You need to have a come to Jesus talk with her. She is your employee, and regardless of what she believes, this is how you want things done. If she won't do them that way, then this is not the correct job for her.

I'm pretty cold-hearted, so I'd fire her.

[Anonymous]

The other family is as irresponsible as the sitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are there blankets and pillows and such there for her to put in the crib.

You need to have a come to Jesus talk with her. She is your employee, and regardless of what she believes, this is how you want things done. If she won't do them that way, then this is not the correct job for her.

I'm pretty cold-hearted, so I'd fire her.

A mamaroo infant insert and a Merlin sleet suit are not pillows. Then she took the little
decorative pillow from the rocker. There are blankets in DC's dresser.

And yes, the other family is a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are there blankets and pillows and such there for her to put in the crib.

You need to have a come to Jesus talk with her. She is your employee, and regardless of what she believes, this is how you want things done. If she won't do them that way, then this is not the correct job for her.

I'm pretty cold-hearted, so I'd fire her.

I generally agree with this. If I weren't in a share I'd replace her. Given the share situation I would simply say that this is a non-negotiable. You understand that in a share situation not all parents and nannies will always agree. If there is anything you ever ask or require of her in caring for your child that she is fundamentally unwilling to or incapable of doing then she needs to tell you immediately and you will make other arrangements. Otherwise you expect her to follow your wishes and if she fails to do so this will be considered grounds for dismissal.

Obviously you need some level of cooperation from the other family but even if they aren't as concerned as you about the sleeping issue - the willingness/ability of the nanny to follow parental instructions is a fundamental issue that I would hope they would understand might well be problematic for them also at some point.

[Anonymous]

If she is flat out ignoring your instructions, then I would let her go.

Imagine what other things she is doing when you are not there that could affect your baby's health & well-being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Unfortunately I have to ask because my share partner was not
as concerned. Wanted to poll the Internet

You need a new share family and a new nanny. Maybe join an existing set-up and you may have better luck.

Not everyone has the best judgment with these things.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. I would get my child out of there because I don't do too well with ignorant!!! She either needs a refresher course on sid or stop looking after children.
I've worked in daycare and let me tell you, child services take this seriously…in fact in MD, it is child neglect and she could get arrested for this if reported. Last year when we had our inspection, the lady told me in 2013, 3 babies died in crib in a daycare and the place was shut down.

[Anonymous]

If any of you actually knew as much about SIDS as you are claiming, you would know that blankets/pillows in a crib have absolutely nothing to do with it.
It's still not a safe practice, but don't conflate the issue with something it is not.

[Anonymous]

SIDS isn't suffocating. SIDS is an unknown cause. If they suffocate it isn't SIDS.

That said that is still very unsafe so I would switch nannies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are there blankets and pillows and such there for her to put in the crib.

You need to have a come to Jesus talk with her. She is your employee, and regardless of what she believes, this is how you want things done. If she won't do them that way, then this is not the correct job for her.

I'm pretty cold-hearted, so I'd fire her.

Don't mist people have those things in their house? The SIDS rule is not to have them in the crib/sleep space, not mot to have them in the house.

[Anonymous]

How old is the child? You said under a year, but what is their age in Months? This to me would make a huge difference. a 6+mo old can have a blanket/lovey in their sleep area and still be safe. Its very dangerous when the child cannot sit up, roll over, or move objects.