So do all children hit these days?

[Anonymous]

The last two families I've nannied for have been for young children who haven't hesitated to hit, kick, and sometimes even bite whenever the smallest thing doesn't go their way. In all my years I've never seen this quite like I am now. I'd encounter it as a passing phase, but most parents quickly nipped it in the bud. Now, with my current family I'm getting hit almost every day. The last family I had was very similar.
As for what I do about it - I've always taken the approach of communication with parents, and following their lead with discipline. The problem is their discipline approach is "barely any discipline"... time outs (which they can't get the kids to stay in), and gentle explanation. Those are only disciplines I've seen these last few years, and it seems to be a popular thing now to never dare be somewhat "mean" (disciplinarian) to your child. Which is leaving me trying to pick up the pieces...and not get bruised.

Is this common now?

[Anonymous]

The lack of appropriate parental attention is causing the children's bad behavior. Both parents are too tired to do much of anything after an exhausting day at the office.

If a child tried to hit me, it'd be the first and last time. I do a very effective "look" that so far has always worked. Maybe get another job with younger children who haven't yet start down the angry path of hitting and biting. It's NOT normal behavior.

[Anonymous]

You and the parents have to team up on this. Talk to the kids when they are not angry and exhibiting this bad behavior. Do it over lunch, bath time, during car ride, or while at park. Talk about the consequences: no one will want to be their friends if they hit, they hurt you, …things like that. If they are angry send them in a calm down corner and ask them to return when they are calm and ready to be friendly. Don't use time out too much, it's been proven it isn't very effective.

[Anonymous]

Yes. We have decided as a generation to let our children hit adults and never discipline them. I'm sorry you weren't invited to the meeting.

[Anonymous]

I've seen tons of parents lately who state in their profiles that they don't even say no to their children, and I simply won't apply. At this point, I ask about discipline in the first interview, because I'm not willing to walk into a situation where the kids have no idea how to listen or have any self-control.

[Anonymous]

Yep. Most absentee parents have no clue how to parent.

[Anonymous]

Hell no. I have two daughters - 4 and 2.5. The 4 yr old would be in SO MUCH TROUBLE if I found out she hit the manny. The 2.5 yr old would be in less trouble because of her age, but she'd still get punished and have to apologize to him.

[Anonymous]

OMG on the west coast all the damn "attachment" parents refuse to set boundaries whatsoever. One woman still shares a bed with her ten year old and his siblings. Fucking weird. I don't know OP, but this generation of parents seems to be too afraid of shushing their special snowflake that everything takes longer than it should to resolve behaviorally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG on the west coast all the damn "attachment" parents refuse to set boundaries whatsoever. One woman still shares a bed with her ten year old and his siblings. Fucking weird. I don't know OP, but this generation of parents seems to be too afraid of shushing their special snowflake that everything takes longer than it should to resolve behaviorally.

20.31. It's not just attachment parents, unfortunately! I've read profiles that clearly state that telling their child no, picking them up to move them somewhere else as a form of redirection or imposing any form of punishment or corrective measure will result in immediate dismissal. Some of these are parents who blatantly state that the nanny gets the child up Mon-Fri, spends every waking moment with the child, and even if the parent has a week off or gets home halfway through the day, they don't want to deal with the kids (some go as far as saying that the nanny must take the kids out of the house when they are home, otherwise they can't relax). From what I'm seeing, most parents that practice attachment parenting at least allow redirection, no, time-ins and discussion of what the issue is after the child calms down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The lack of appropriate parental attention is causing the children's bad behavior. Both parents are too tired to do much of anything after an exhausting day at the office.

If a child tried to hit me, it'd be the first and last time. I do a very effective "look" that so far has always worked. Maybe get another job with younger children who haven't yet start down the angry path of hitting and biting. It's NOT normal behavior.

Your approach is to give them "a look"? LOL!

[Anonymous]

Hit the brat back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hit the brat back.

If you're the parent, you can risk that. As a childcare professional, I would be risking my career, so no thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The lack of appropriate parental attention is causing the children's bad behavior. Both parents are too tired to do much of anything after an exhausting day at the office.

If a child tried to hit me, it'd be the first and last time. I do a very effective "look" that so far has always worked. Maybe get another job with younger children who haven't yet start down the angry path of hitting and biting. It's NOT normal behavior.

Your approach is to give them "a look"? LOL!

If you could do an effective "look," why wouldn't you? Some of you are pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. We have decided as a generation to let our children hit adults and never discipline them. I'm sorry you weren't invited to the meeting.

And I am sorry for your low thinking attitude.

[Anonymous]

What discipline techniques would you like to use other than time outs? Considering the backlash against discipline all together, I think it's good that your current family is open to TOs. So use them and see what results you get. For us, the Magic 123 method works really well.