how would you handle this with new nanny?

[Anonymous]

We hired a new PT nanny about 6 weeks ago (our first nanny ever) and overall we think she's doing a good job. However, there have been some issues where she doesn't seem to be following instructions, even after being told several times. Language doesn't seem to be a barrier. How would you handle these situations?

1. Sippy cup valves. She keeps forgetting to put the silicone piece in to prevent links. On Mondays, we do the "hand off" at my daughter's ballet class and my work clothes got soaked from a leaky water bottle in the diaper bag. And, my daughter didn't have water on the way home... I've shown her a few times now how to put the valves in. Unfortunately, this is something that's difficult to do ahead of time since the cups are usually in the dishwasher overnight. However, overall this is a relatively minor, although annoying concern.

2. Dog left outside. Our older terrier dog doesn't bother with "come" (even with $$$ in training) and to help with this we have a long tether hooked to our porch. He can easily be hooked to the tether and taken off and put inside the house when the nanny needs to leave. We've repeatedly told her that the dog may not be left outside running around the fenced yard when she and the kids leave the house. However, in coming home early yesterday, I discovered that he had been left outside unattended for more than an hour while the nanny/kids were at the park. The nanny said he didn't want to come... And she "forgot" about the tether.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here.

Honestly, she just doesn't sound like she has the appropriate attention to detail to do this job well. Once you've asked her to do something, the same thing, multiple times, and she STILL doesn't do it, that is a problem. Sure, right now the things she's forgetting are small, but it sounds like her real problem is listening to you and taking your concerns seriously, and THAT is a big problem.

If you want to keep working with her, then I would tell her "we need to talk," and set aside some actual time (not just in passing at ballet class) that you can talk with her face to face, ideally without kids present, and/or with DH (or another supporting adult) present. Tell her that you appreciate her work, and list a few things that you are happy about with regard to her performance. Then explain that you asked to speak with her because you are concerned that she keeps forgetting things (mention specifics). Explain to her that constantly forgetting small things is a big problem, and that it needs to be addressed if she wants to continue to work with your family.

The sippy cup thing in particular is "small," but any halfway experienced nanny should already be familiar with inserting those little parts in there, because, duh, if you don't, they don't work! That's just part of the job basics for a nanny. The dog thing is a bigger deal; it isn't okay to just leave a dog in the yard while you're out of the house! I've worked with many families with dogs, and while I'm not exactly a dog person, I know that it's not okay to just leave them outside! They could bark too much and annoy the neighbors, or possibly escape, etc!

The fact that you've been very thorough with her already and she is still not doing as you've asked, really makes it sound to me like she is either A) lazily cutting corners, figuring she's doing the best she needs to to keep the job, or B) honestly, for whatever reason, just can't handle everything. Either way, it doesn't sound good to me. I suppose it would be worth it to have that talk and give it one more chance, but my gut feeling is that she's not the best nanny for you long term. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Unless the trip home from ballet is a 14-hour trek through the desert, your daughter is fine without water. You should just check the sippy cup when she hands you one each time.

The dog issue would be unacceptable to me. Especially with winter coming - your dog could freeze to death. This is a health hazard and I would let her know you feel strongly enough about this that if it happens again, she'll need to find another position. And then I'd tell her what to do to get the dog inside when the dog doesn't respond to "come."

[Anonymous]

She's not a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's not a nanny.

Nevermind my above comment.

[Anonymous]

Dog is not nanny's responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dog is not nanny's responsibility.

If she agreed to the responsibilities pertaining to the dog in the interview then the dog is her responsibility. OP she sounds absent minded and inexperienced. While some may say the sippy cup thing is no big deal, it's really a big sign of her lack of experience. I would start looking and make sure you find someone who cares for dogs as well as children, I have a dog and love dogs and I would never leave a dog left outside when I leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here.

Honestly, she just doesn't sound like she has the appropriate attention to detail to do this job well. Once you've asked her to do something, the same thing, multiple times, and she STILL doesn't do it, that is a problem. Sure, right now the things she's forgetting are small, but it sounds like her real problem is listening to you and taking your concerns seriously, and THAT is a big problem.

If you want to keep working with her, then I would tell her "we need to talk," and set aside some actual time (not just in passing at ballet class) that you can talk with her face to face, ideally without kids present, and/or with DH (or another supporting adult) present. Tell her that you appreciate her work, and list a few things that you are happy about with regard to her performance. Then explain that you asked to speak with her because you are concerned that she keeps forgetting things (mention specifics). Explain to her that constantly forgetting small things is a big problem, and that it needs to be addressed if she wants to continue to work with your family.

The sippy cup thing in particular is "small," but any halfway experienced nanny should already be familiar with inserting those little parts in there, because, duh, if you don't, they don't work! That's just part of the job basics for a nanny. The dog thing is a bigger deal; it isn't okay to just leave a dog in the yard while you're out of the house! I've worked with many families with dogs, and while I'm not exactly a dog person, I know that it's not okay to just leave them outside! They could bark too much and annoy the neighbors, or possibly escape, etc!

The fact that you've been very thorough with her already and she is still not doing as you've asked, really makes it sound to me like she is either A) lazily cutting corners, figuring she's doing the best she needs to to keep the job, or B) honestly, for whatever reason, just can't handle everything. Either way, it doesn't sound good to me. I suppose it would be worth it to have that talk and give it one more chance, but my gut feeling is that she's not the best nanny for you long term. Good luck.

With the exception of the bolded, this is perfect. DH is a reasonable inclusion to the conversation. Any other adult who lives in the house and has input in the way the children are raised would be a reasonable inclusion. However, nobody else belongs there for that kind of talk, and that includes the children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here.

Honestly, she just doesn't sound like she has the appropriate attention to detail to do this job well. Once you've asked her to do something, the same thing, multiple times, and she STILL doesn't do it, that is a problem. Sure, right now the things she's forgetting are small, but it sounds like her real problem is listening to you and taking your concerns seriously, and THAT is a big problem.

If you want to keep working with her, then I would tell her "we need to talk," and set aside some actual time (not just in passing at ballet class) that you can talk with her face to face, ideally without kids present, and/or with DH (or another supporting adult) present. Tell her that you appreciate her work, and list a few things that you are happy about with regard to her performance. Then explain that you asked to speak with her because you are concerned that she keeps forgetting things (mention specifics). Explain to her that constantly forgetting small things is a big problem, and that it needs to be addressed if she wants to continue to work with your family.

The sippy cup thing in particular is "small," but any halfway experienced nanny should already be familiar with inserting those little parts in there, because, duh, if you don't, they don't work! That's just part of the job basics for a nanny. The dog thing is a bigger deal; it isn't okay to just leave a dog in the yard while you're out of the house! I've worked with many families with dogs, and while I'm not exactly a dog person, I know that it's not okay to just leave them outside! They could bark too much and annoy the neighbors, or possibly escape, etc!

The fact that you've been very thorough with her already and she is still not doing as you've asked, really makes it sound to me like she is either A) lazily cutting corners, figuring she's doing the best she needs to to keep the job, or B) honestly, for whatever reason, just can't handle everything. Either way, it doesn't sound good to me. I suppose it would be worth it to have that talk and give it one more chance, but my gut feeling is that she's not the best nanny for you long term. Good luck.

MB here and I think this nanny is absolutely right with all of this advice.

Yes, these are somewhat minor specifics OP, but they indicate a lack of attention, or a willful disregard, either of which are a problem. And she's new - so I would assume that whatever challenges you are seeing now will only increase over time.

I'd have one very direct conversation with her. Very direct and clear. Then if there isn't an immediate and seemingly permanent change I'd replace her. Document the conversation in writing, be very specific, and give her a shot. Then call it a day.

[Anonymous]

Just talk to her - these are relatively minor and can be addressed early on...

[Anonymous]

Thank you for the advice. Taking care of the dog is part of her contract.

Since we have a summer home far away from DC, this nanny's job will end in the late spring (per the contract).

We'd much rather deal with these issues and better "manage" her than fire at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the advice. Taking care of the dog is part of her contract.

Since we have a summer home far away from DC, this nanny's job will end in the late spring (per the contract).

We'd much rather deal with these issues and better "manage" her than fire at this point.

If she's part-time, there's only about 6 months left for the contract and only minor issues, it makes more sense to deal with her and the issues rather than spending time and money finding a better nanny. However, there are a ton of nannies who (understandably) don't want to be micromanaged, so be prepared for her to quit if she feels like you don't trust her.

Perhaps you can take steps to minimize her accidents without making her feel micromanaged? Maybe you could have a sippy cup with you, already assembled, and a bottle of water for yourself, so that you could fill the sippy cup from your water bottle? Short of keeping the dog in the house during her shift, I'm not sure what to recommend, but I do understand that it's irresponsible to leave an animal outside when there were clear instructions and it's in the contract.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would be worried she might quit, especially since this is only part time and temporary, if an attractive job offer that is permanent or offers more hours or higher pay comes along, she might just quit, especially if she's feeling overwhelmed or micromanaged with you. I'm not saying any of that is your fault, just that you might want to consider all of that in how you proceed, particularly since you've indicated you'd rather not find a new nanny at this point. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I know from experience how easy it is to forget to put that darn little mold thing in the lid of the sippi cup so please forgive…just tell her to watch out for it. As for the dog, just send her friendly reminders on her phone about him when they are heading out. Honestly don't approach it as if she is an awful person cause we are all humans and make mistakes. Her flow and mistakes should get better with more time and experience.

Example: my former MB used to do this and I really appreciated it cause I forget quite easily. She will text me "hey guys, don't forget sunscreen while going to pool…going to be 90 degrees today" or "hey guys, please remember to refill some water and food for the dog for me. thanks." It never bothered me. I was their nanny but really we worked as a team when it came to care of their child.

[Anonymous]

Buy easier to use sippy cups.