What would you say to this

[Anonymous]

i nannied for a little girl from birth to three years old. She's now six and I still babysit about once a month. She's a great kid, very sweet and easy going but she can dawdle like nobody's business. It can be incredibly exasperating At times. Her mom is the disciplinarian at home. because of this she frequently says she doesn't love her mom and only loves her dad.

Tonight I was watching her and she told me "I love you I wish you were my mom!" I told her that while I loved her, her mother loved her even more and that it makes mama sad when she says things like that and that we need to choose kind words. I know she doesn't really understand or mean it but I know it kills her mom to hear stuff like this.

Her mother is fantastic and one of the best mbs I've ever had.

What would you have said?

[Anonymous]

What you said is fine. Don't give it another thought.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I would let DB know what the situation is doing to the relationship between MB and the daughter, but that's only because there's a long history with the family. Without that history, I would keep my mouth shut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I would let DB know what the situation is doing to the relationship between MB and the daughter, but that's only because there's a long history with the family. Without that history, I would keep my mouth shut.

Op here. I've thought of this. Db adores her and hates to see her upset at all and so he doesn't discipline here and will frequently interfere when mb does. I really feel it's the ultimate source of the problem. Why wouldn't she prefer dad over mom.

I just don't want to step where I shouldn't. It really does break my heart for my former mb.

[Anonymous]

MB here. I think what you said is fine. You can also just refuse to listen to that kind of thing. (I use this tactic w/ my kids. "That's not nice, we don't say those things." and then I move on to another topic. If they continue I say "I'm sorry, my ears don't hear things like that." Or "Oh, well I don't play with people who are mean to other people so you'll have to play by yourself." etc...)

I agree this is an issue with/for the parents to manage, but it's also pretty classic emotional manipulation for a bright child. So I'd not indulge or make more of it, or overthink it.

[Anonymous]

I would have said what you said, word for word.

You said the right thing and were on point.