How to bond when there's another nanny

[Anonymous]

So I just started a new position a few weeks ago. Three kids: 13 month old, 4 and 6 year olds. I do 3 days a week and other nanny does 2 days a week, has been working with them a little longer (little more than a month more). I know I'm stricter than the other nanny- they've asked me why I don't let them eat as much as the other nanny [the mom told me to limit snacks- they ask for food every half an hour!], and she takes them for fast food and lets them get away with more I think. I think this is creating a problem in our bonding: the oldest has quite the little attitude and she definitely doesn't like me yet, and the 4 year old is ok with me I think...this is the one who gets hungry allllll the time and gets upset when I limit snacks. But otherwise it's ok so far! Just wondering what other nannies have done in this kind of situation: I've never done a nanny job share like this.

[Anonymous]

I would make sure whatever snack you give them is protein dense so it will stick with them longer. Also, try distracting, they might be feigning hunger out of boredom. Perhaps try doing an activity on healthy growing foods or something? Have you talked to the mom about this?

[Anonymous]

It seems like you may have been brought in to possibly replace other nanny.
Second the opinion it's likely the cause.
When I babysit ( non nanny kids) I bring a special bag, that is filled with dollar store games, books, and activities geared towards the ages of the kids. It's a great ice breaker and helps give me ideas on what the kids like.
Maybe this will work for you?
Also, while you can't tolerate blatant disrespect just know that 6 year olds by nature are moody.

[Anonymous]

My advice would be to lighten up on the kids. I know it's hard and it goes against our nanny instincts but in this situation I would ease up a lot

[Anonymous]

I'd say to meet the kids in the middle. Make sweet potato fries at home. Milk shakes at home. At least that way you are in control of portion sizes and ingredients.

[Anonymous]

If you are from the get-go a little more strict than their other Nanny, you will automatically be the "Bad Cop" by default.

It sounds like both you & the other nanny are like day and night here.

What I would do is meet somewhere in the middle.

I wouldn't ask the current Nanny to change her ways a bit because this will start things off pretty bad.

Perhaps you can also seek advice from your MomBoss. No one know these children better than she does + it is likely she will have some good ideas for how you can eventually bond w/the kids.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I'm the bad cop. I've been in a 2 a nanny situation and it sucks. I have no advice. I've had to bite my tongue a lot. I finally lost it one day when she corrected to me over the youngest. My response, "I'm sorry my job is to enforce rules not have a brat." The mom heard it and agreed with me...sigh..

[Anonymous]

You can draw a picture of the stomach and tell the boy using crayon - blue is food from bfast, green is food from snacks, purple is fruit and leave a little tiny space to his next foods. I do this to my 5 yrs old charge and she understood it very well.

ALso tell him his tummy need some rest.

[Anonymous]

I'm an MB and I would consider this my job to make sure both nannies are treating the kids the same way. I don't want one good cop and one bad cop - I want two people working together, with me, to make sure the rules are the same no matter who is in charge that day.

I'd talk to the parents and ask them to lay out the groundrules clearly so that you can all be on the same page and the kids aren't getting conflicting messages.

[Anonymous]

I'm also a MB, but I can't control everything. Maybe she is going to try to replace the other nanny, and maybe she brought you in to correct some of the damage with the other nanny.

You're very new. I would focus on some fun things that you do that are special, especially for the 6-year-old, and hold the line on the snacking. They'll get with the program eventually.

My almost-6-year-old loves "activities." Call any kind of easy craft or cooking project an "activity," and he'll think you're the greatest nanny ever. Science experiments are also a big hit.

My nanny has my kids (5.5, 4, 2.5, 8 months), and she either straps the younger ones in high chairs and has everyone work at the kitchen table to facilitate these activities, or she kind of does one kid at a time while the others play nearby. She might read them all a book, for example, and then one at a time they would make the animal from the book out of construction paper (the baby doesn't make anything, obviously).