I agreed to let nanny take one month off and she bought a ticket for almost 6 weeks off

[Anonymous]

What would you do? Our nanny of one year asked if she could take a month off to go home. I agreed although only two of the weeks will be paid.
Just yesterday she informed me that she is taking 5 1/2 weeks off and already bought her plane ticket. I"m dumfounded as to why she would not ask before increasing the amount of time she is taking off. She's been good with the kids and flexible with our schedule but I feel like this is a slap in the face. My husband and I both work full time and feel her taking off so much time is simply unreasonable.
Would you start looking for someone else?

[Anonymous]

What were you planning to do for childcare during the one month?

[Anonymous]

This is why you should hire an American nanny and not a cheap foreign one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why you should hire an American nanny and not a cheap foreign one.

Agree, one of the many reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What were you planning to do for childcare during the one month?

That's part of the issue. She said one month in December which worked for us because we plan to be gone one week in early December and then I will take one week off in late December which would have left me with only two weeks where I needed to find someone to care for the kids. But she just informed me she is going to be gone mid-December until late January.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me once, too, with a nanny who was not cheap and was legal, etc.. She didn't see the big deal, since in her mind she had just added "a couple of days" to each end of the trip.

I ultimately held her job for her, but then she took another long trip (sick relatives) and then quit.

After her, I started paying time off out on an accrual basis, not giving it all at once at the beginning of the year, and decided I would never agree to more than 2 weeks off for anyone who hadn't worked for me for at least a year.

If she's been a good nanny for the last year, I would tell her what you said here, and make it clear that you're not going to hold her job the next time this happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What were you planning to do for childcare during the one month?

That's part of the issue. She said one month in December which worked for us because we plan to be gone one week in early December and then I will take one week off in late December which would have left me with only two weeks where I needed to find someone to care for the kids. But she just informed me she is going to be gone mid-December until late January.

Let her know now that she will be paid for the first two weeks, she is welcome to her job if she's back by the end of the second unpaid week, but otherwise you need to know now, that way you can have someone else start January 1st.
~Nanny who thinks that is outrageous and unprofessional

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me once, too, with a nanny who was not cheap and was legal, etc.. She didn't see the big deal, since in her mind she had just added "a couple of days" to each end of the trip.

I ultimately held her job for her, but then she took another long trip (sick relatives) and then quit.

After her, I started paying time off out on an accrual basis, not giving it all at once at the beginning of the year, and decided I would never agree to more than 2 weeks off for anyone who hadn't worked for me for at least a year.

If she's been a good nanny for the last year, I would tell her what you said here, and make it clear that you're not going to hold her job the next time this happens.

Yes, for the past year she has been good and has only taken 3 sick days off (no vacation days). But I seriously question whether she intends to stay because her actions are not that of someone who really wants or needs a job. Frankly, I am also angry at the complete lack of respect for me and my family. She could have asked for 5 1/2 weeks off and maybe I would have agreed but if I didn't agree then we could have agreed to part ways. Now, I may just fire her simply because I don't trust her - I don't trust what she says and I don't trust her judgment. Not sure this is who I want watching my children.

[Anonymous]

The nanny's moving on. OP should to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me once, too, with a nanny who was not cheap and was legal, etc.. She didn't see the big deal, since in her mind she had just added "a couple of days" to each end of the trip.

First of all, the issue here isn't whether she's legal or not, it's whether she's American or foreign. If you hire a foreign nanny, there are TWO reasons you're setting yourself up for covering 4-8 weeks of vacation for her every year. Obviously, everyone gets the issue about the cost and travel time, and wanting to spend as much time as possible with family. But the second issue that I think a lot of MBs overlook, at their own peril, is that these foreign nannies just don't have the same work ethic or take the job as seriously, or understand just how difficult it is for you to cover in their absence, as American nannies do. Europeans are known to have more annual vacation time than Americans, and it's considered typical for them to take 4-6 weeks of vacation each year. South Americans and Asians come from cultures where they often have lots of family and willing and available friends around to help with childcare; they don't seem to realize that if grandma lives in Montana, it's not so easy to expect her or anyone else to drop everything and come watch your children full time for a month or more.

Every American Nanny I know takes the job very seriously, and understands that taking any more than two weeks of vacation per year is a hardship for her nanny family. I've been a nanny for fourteen years, and every single year I've used only one week for my vacation, except one year, three years ago, when I took a two week long trip, and gave five months notice for it. And yes, maybe I have something of a chip on my shoulder, because I've interviewed for many nanny positions over the years and found out I didn't get the position because it was offered to a foreign nanny who asked for less money (I've had more than one set of parents tell me they gave the job to a nanny asking for less money even though they were very impressed with me, and then seen their child at story time or the playground with a foreign nanny). There may be some advantages to hiring a foreign nanny, such as exposure to another culture or language (although I took Spanish in college and speak it nearly fluently and teach it to my charges, along with sign language), but you will "pay" for giving the job to a foreign nanny over an American one way or another, and having to find coverage while she leaves you high and dry for 4-8 weeks a year is just one example. Don't believe that this is typical? Do a search here. There's one of these posts every couple of months.

Want to avoid having to find coverage for your kids for 4-8 weeks at a time? Hire an American.

[Anonymous]

I'm American, and I want to take a vacation that's long enough to justify flying to see friends. However, my MB, DB and I agree that I accrue weeks for two years then take the month off. Because they have so much notice, it isn't a big deal. But it's in the contract that way so that expectations are clear.

[Anonymous]

This is a hard one but I would start looking for a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why you should hire an American nanny and not a cheap foreign one.

American nanny are bad that's why parents hire foreign...you should know by now .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me once, too, with a nanny who was not cheap and was legal, etc.. She didn't see the big deal, since in her mind she had just added "a couple of days" to each end of the trip.

First of all, the issue here isn't whether she's legal or not, it's whether she's American or foreign. If you hire a foreign nanny, there are TWO reasons you're setting yourself up for covering 4-8 weeks of vacation for her every year. Obviously, everyone gets the issue about the cost and travel time, and wanting to spend as much time as possible with family. But the second issue that I think a lot of MBs overlook, at their own peril, is that these foreign nannies just don't have the same work ethic or take the job as seriously, or understand just how difficult it is for you to cover in their absence, as American nannies do. Europeans are known to have more annual vacation time than Americans, and it's considered typical for them to take 4-6 weeks of vacation each year. South Americans and Asians come from cultures where they often have lots of family and willing and available friends around to help with childcare; they don't seem to realize that if grandma lives in Montana, it's not so easy to expect her or anyone else to drop everything and come watch your children full time for a month or more.

Every American Nanny I know takes the job very seriously, and understands that taking any more than two weeks of vacation per year is a hardship for her nanny family. I've been a nanny for fourteen years, and every single year I've used only one week for my vacation, except one year, three years ago, when I took a two week long trip, and gave five months notice for it. And yes, maybe I have something of a chip on my shoulder, because I've interviewed for many nanny positions over the years and found out I didn't get the position because it was offered to a foreign nanny who asked for less money (I've had more than one set of parents tell me they gave the job to a nanny asking for less money even though they were very impressed with me, and then seen their child at story time or the playground with a foreign nanny). There may be some advantages to hiring a foreign nanny, such as exposure to another culture or language (although I took Spanish in college and speak it nearly fluently and teach it to my charges, along with sign language), but you will "pay" for giving the job to a foreign nanny over an American one way or another, and having to find coverage while she leaves you high and dry for 4-8 weeks a year is just one example. Don't believe that this is typical? Do a search here. There's one of these posts every couple of months.

Want to avoid having to find coverage for your kids for 4-8 weeks at a time? Hire an American.

You look very desperate. .

[Anonymous]

A slap in the face? Really OP?