I agreed to let nanny take one month off and she bought a ticket for almost 6 weeks off

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she's planning on leaving and would like to collect a paycheck until then. Wonder how she would react if you took away some of her vacation days and said it's just a couple of extra days . . .

[Anonymous]

Wonder why she didn't give you the courtesy of a quick phone call saying "now that I'm looking at flight schedules it would be great if I could return on day Y instead of day X. She's pretty much telling you to take it or leave it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello OP, She isn't coming back. Stop kidding yourself, ok?

This is what I think, too. She doesn't want to lose her job in advance, and she may not have decided 100% that she wants to stay, but I also think she's planning to not come back.

Maybe she's afraid of op having a temper tantrum if she gives formal notice. That happens quite a bit.

[Anonymous]

We ran into the same issue last year with our nanny. We agreed to 4 weeks off (after her 14 mo employment with us), all paid and to include the time off between Christmas and New Year's (when my work closes/ she borrowed against future vacation time.) Then she took off between Thanksgiving and Christmas because tickets were cheaper, which left me with a whole month of childcare to cover, rather than 2 weeks which I was planning on. Originally, I was upset and asked her to find a childcare solution for me for those 2 weeks or take it out of her pay. Then I looked into how much it would be to change her ticket, which was $700, so not a great option. It was obvious she felt sorry about the situation and didn't have a solution. We ended up working a deal for additional childcare (gratis- off hours) for the rest of the next year so that she could take that "precious" time off and not miss a paycheck. She was very thankful. I was still annoyed.

A year later I can report that I do not feel taken advantage of (she was a blessing for our family during the last 2 years) and all-in-all, we ended up taking a 12 day family vacation (on the cheap) that was really awesome and we wouldn't have done otherwise. My husband and I worked a rotating schedule during those weeks with some extra babysitting where we could find it, and managed our way through. My boss was less than thrilled but it worked out.

Sometimes it helps to sleep on it a few days and then make a decision. Good nannies are hard to come by but if you are not able to be flexible about the extended trip, you will know what the right thing is to do.

[Anonymous]

This is a tough one, OP. I have been a nanny in the past, and now employ a nanny.

As a former nanny, I cannot imagine doing what your nanny is. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon. I've heard too many stories like this where, in the end, the nanny does not return, so I would personally be very uncomfortable with how this has all gone down.

Only you can weigh whether is it worth keeping her despite having to find childcare for 5 1/2 weeks. I know very few people in the working world who can take a 4 week vacation, let alone almost 6 weeks.

If it were me, I think I would put feelers out and if I found a truly stellar nanny with perfect references, I might consider hiring her. 4-6 weeks is enough time for your children to have established new routines and developed a relationship with a new caregiver (which they'll have to do anyway since you will need back-up care).

[Anonymous]

23:37, you not only have a chip on your shoulder, but a complete ignorant. Grow up, I wouldn't hire you because of that attitude; where'd you get that ideas? Aaah stereotype!!

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should start looking for someone new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:23:37, you not only have a chip on your shoulder, but a complete ignorant. Grow up, I wouldn't hire you because of that attitude; where'd you get that ideas? Aaah stereotype!!

You're not in a position to hire anyone since you are also a nanny. Sad story is this PP is correct. American nannies don't need a month off to visit family in Montana. American nannies speak understandable English and are able to communicate clearly when they need help and during employment negotiations. American nannies who have graduated college with skills that are marketable in America don't take nanny jobs because it's the only job they can get without papers. American nannies are a little less likely to be glued to their cell phones (emphasis on the work 'little'). American nannies do not clean toilets. I could go on and on here but hopefully you get the picture. And the picture ain't PC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:23:37, you not only have a chip on your shoulder, but a complete ignorant. Grow up, I wouldn't hire you because of that attitude; where'd you get that ideas? Aaah stereotype!!

You're not in a position to hire anyone since you are also a nanny. Sad story is this PP is correct. American nannies don't need a month off to visit family in Montana. American nannies speak understandable English and are able to communicate clearly when they need help and during employment negotiations. American nannies who have graduated college with skills that are marketable in America don't take nanny jobs because it's the only job they can get without papers. American nannies are a little less likely to be glued to their cell phones (emphasis on the work 'little'). American nannies do not clean toilets. I could go on and on here but hopefully you get the picture. And the picture ain't PC.

American nanny here. Please don't generalize. I know plenty of nannies (myself included) who clean a toilet when a little boy pees all over it or as part of light housekeeping while kids are in school. I would much rather spend 3 minutes cleaning the toilet thrice per week than doing a number of tasks normally included in "light" housekeeping, including dusting! And although I am American, my family and friends are scattered worldwide, so I prefer using two years of vacation at once for a longer trip (coordinating with MB/DB of course). Yes, most American nannies have English as a first language, but there are a number who don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:23:37, you not only have a chip on your shoulder, but a complete ignorant. Grow up, I wouldn't hire you because of that attitude; where'd you get that ideas? Aaah stereotype!!

You're not in a position to hire anyone since you are also a nanny. Sad story is this PP is correct. American nannies don't need a month off to visit family in Montana. American nannies speak understandable English and are able to communicate clearly when they need help and during employment negotiations. American nannies who have graduated college with skills that are marketable in America don't take nanny jobs because it's the only job they can get without papers. American nannies are a little less likely to be glued to their cell phones (emphasis on the work 'little'). American nannies do not clean toilets. I could go on and on here but hopefully you get the picture. And the picture ain't PC.

American nanny here. Please don't generalize. I know plenty of nannies (myself included) who clean a toilet when a little boy pees all over it or as part of light housekeeping while kids are in school. I would much rather spend 3 minutes cleaning the toilet thrice per week than doing a number of tasks normally included in "light" housekeeping, including dusting! And although I am American, my family and friends are scattered worldwide, so I prefer using two years of vacation at once for a longer trip (coordinating with MB/DB of course). Yes, most American nannies have English as a first language, but there are a number who don't.

I'm sorry, but you sound more like a doormat rather than a nanny. You should be teaching your charge to clean his own pee from the toilet seat. Then he'll probably figure out how to pee IN the toilet. Little children need to participate in cleaning up after themselves, or they'll become lifelong slobs. Or should his wife do what you're doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:23:37, you not only have a chip on your shoulder, but a complete ignorant. Grow up, I wouldn't hire you because of that attitude; where'd you get that ideas? Aaah stereotype!!

You're not in a position to hire anyone since you are also a nanny. Sad story is this PP is correct. American nannies don't need a month off to visit family in Montana. American nannies speak understandable English and are able to communicate clearly when they need help and during employment negotiations. American nannies who have graduated college with skills that are marketable in America don't take nanny jobs because it's the only job they can get without papers. American nannies are a little less likely to be glued to their cell phones (emphasis on the work 'little'). American nannies do not clean toilets. I could go on and on here but hopefully you get the picture. And the picture ain't PC.

American nanny here. Please don't generalize. I know plenty of nannies (myself included) who clean a toilet when a little boy pees all over it or as part of light housekeeping while kids are in school. I would much rather spend 3 minutes cleaning the toilet thrice per week than doing a number of tasks normally included in "light" housekeeping, including dusting! And although I am American, my family and friends are scattered worldwide, so I prefer using two years of vacation at once for a longer trip (coordinating with MB/DB of course). Yes, most American nannies have English as a first language, but there are a number who don't.

I'm sorry, but you sound more like a doormat rather than a nanny. You should be teaching your charge to clean his own pee from the toilet seat. Then he'll probably figure out how to pee IN the toilet. Little children need to participate in cleaning up after themselves, or they'll become lifelong slobs. Or should his wife do what you're doing?

I start potty training at 1.5 if the parents are amenable and the child is interested. While the toddler may want to help, I'm more interested in getting it clean and not needing to give the child a bath.