How to Resolve Schedule Conflicts in Nanny Share

[Anonymous]

Whose schedule takes priority in a nanny-share, especially when one party is joining another's existing set-up? I know there's probably not a one-size-fits-all solution, but trying to see how other families may have resolved any conflict in their shares.

[Anonymous]

We need more specifics to offer helpful advice. What's the situation exactly?

[Anonymous]

Well, we're considering sharing another family's nanny. Their napping and feeding schedules are firmly set, so ours will be figured out around the existing one, according to the nanny. That in itself isn't too big of a deal considering it is a share situation. My paranoia is making me wonder if this is an indication that the existing child's needs might take priority over the add-on's

[Anonymous]

What age are the kids?

[Anonymous]

I'm a share nanny, and I agree with your nanny. She has a routine that works within the hours she works and it'd be best for everyone if your child is eased into that schedule. This is what I do whenever a new family joins the share after it has been established. That certainly doesn't mean that one child's needs will always come first. If you find that to be happening, you should definitely speak up. What you've described is more about the logistic of the share than either child. The first child just happens to already be on the schedule nanny prefers.

[Anonymous]

I'm a share nanny and I agree with the above poster. I was in a share for 5 years when one family left and when the new one came in their infant went right on the original family's schedule (the original family continued to have more children if that wasn't obvious).

I never placed the existing child's needs over the new child, but that was a schedule that work for us. is adjusting naptime 30 minutes really that big a deal? If you think about it, your nanny will already need to work with adjusting your child to the share. is adjusting the existing schedule really worth her having to adjust the schedule of two children?

[Anonymous]

It's much easier to adjust for one family/child than it is for two. If the nanny already has a schedule set, and it will work for your child (big difference between sliding nap 30 minutes earlier or later versus eliminating a nap), what's the issue?

[Anonymous]

Get your own nanny, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP here. After talking with another mother who is just coming out of a nanny share - don't know all the details but was clear nanny was favoring the existing kid - we're on a new search for our own care. Like mentioned before, schedule conflict was not big deal at all. There were many other 'red flags' during interview with nanny that I had a hard time processing. Whether my instincts were true or not, I'll never know, cause I don't want to'd rather not have to find out.

That being said, out of curiosity, as nannies interviewing a family to potentially add on to your existing care, what type of information or questions would you be most interested in finding out about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. After talking with another mother who is just coming out of a nanny share - don't know all the details but was clear nanny was favoring the existing kid - we're on a new search for our own care. Like mentioned before, schedule conflict was not big deal at all. There were many other 'red flags' during interview with nanny that I had a hard time processing. Whether my instincts were true or not, I'll never know, cause I don't want to'd rather not have to find out.

That being said, out of curiosity, as nannies interviewing a family to potentially add on to your existing care, what type of information or questions would you be most interested in finding out about?

The questions I have concern things like schedule, sleep routines, discipline and eating habits if that applies, and general temperament of the child and family. If I'm talking to a potential family, I know that they have already agreed to my contract terms as laid out by the existing family. I'm looking to see if your child and family will mesh well with how we already do things. Of course the new child's needs are taken into account, but I'm not looking to make any drastic changes to a system I already know works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. After talking with another mother who is just coming out of a nanny share - don't know all the details but was clear nanny was favoring the existing kid - we're on a new search for our own care. Like mentioned before, schedule conflict was not big deal at all. There were many other 'red flags' during interview with nanny that I had a hard time processing. Whether my instincts were true or not, I'll never know, cause I don't want to'd rather not have to find out.

That being said, out of curiosity, as nannies interviewing a family to potentially add on to your existing care, what type of information or questions would you be most interested in finding out about?

The questions I have concern things like schedule, sleep routines, discipline and eating habits if that applies, and general temperament of the child and family. If I'm talking to a potential family, I know that they have already agreed to my contract terms as laid out by the existing family. I'm looking to see if your child and family will mesh well with how we already do things. Of course the new child's needs are taken into account, but I'm not looking to make any drastic changes to a system I already know works.

Exactly! I also ask one question each about the possibility of other children (yours or family relatives) dropping in or being added, how long you foresee staying in the share, and what your goals are for your child during that time period (social, emotional, milestones, education, etc).

[Anonymous]

This is why I don't do nanny share. As a nanny I stay away from them.They always turn out bad.