Do you call your nanny when you hear your child cry on drop-cam?
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Anonymous
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We have two drop-cams that I watch on the internet when I am working and/or check when I get home in the evening. Yesterday, I heard DC cry off camera and called the nanny to see what happened. She got angry with me and said that I never call or mention when she or DC does something well or amazing but always call or mention it when I think something is wrong. Yes, DC was fine and I could see that on the camera yesterday but I still wanted to know what happened.
DC is two and nanny has been his nanny since his birth. I do think she is a wonderful nanny and DC loves her. Am I wrong? I feel I have the right to know why my child is crying. |
Anonymous
| If you were watching on the drop cam yesterday and saw that your child was fine - why did you bother your nanny with a call? What difference does it make why your kid was crying? Kids cry. Kids fall. |
Anonymous
Op here. I have a right to know! He's my child!!! |
Anonymous
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Do you never mention when your nanny does something good and you see it on the nanny cam? If so then yes, your nanny has reason to be angry with you. No one should ever have to work (in any field) without positive feedback.
I am an MB and I would be bugged if my employer did what you did. Your baby was fine. You should have left the situation alone. Your "rights" have nothing to do with making an employee feel appreciated. |
Anonymous
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Look at it this way:
You provide feedback to the nanny, calling her to ask what is going on. You're getting the information not because she is talking to you, but because you are watching the camera. Nannies are aware of cameras, we don't need the constant reminder that you might be watching. You call anytime the child cries. A two year old might cry when told they aren't allowed to watch television or have candy, fighting the nanny's attempt at redirection for a minute or two. Or they run through the house and skid on hard wood floor, falling and bumping a knee. Either way, it's not something that the parent needs to know every single time, the only reason to include it in the evening wrap up or log would be if it's becoming a pattern. You don't provide any feedback in regards to the good things that the nanny is doing with your child that you notice on camera. If you're checking that often, there's zero excuse for no feedback; even a little post-it on the counter when she gets in some mornings would be fine. Can you see that you seem like you're overbearing and micro-managing? A two year old might throw himself on the floor and have a 30 second temper tantrum while the nanny ignores it, but he'll get back up if not given attention; when you call, you are telling the nanny you don't trust her judgement. |
Anonymous
| You don't have a "right" to anything. You have a right to ask whatever you wish of your employee and she has a right to tell you that you are being too controlling (which she has) and to quit (which she will). |
Anonymous
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Of course you have a right to do this OP.
The question you need to think about is how necessary it is to check in that way, and whether the potential harm done to your nanny's sense of satisfaction in the job, trust in her, etc... is damaged. If you want to retain the nanny you are getting a very clear message that your actions are jeopardizing that goal. Try to imagine your boss and how you want his/her interaction with you to go? The golden rule is often a great guideline. |
Anonymous
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Omg. It's troll again!
But for the record, op, if you did that shit to any nanny I know, you'd be toast. Pronto. They have mental health services for people like you. |
Anonymous
Then you should stay home eith him to ensure that he never cries. You are a troublemaker and I hope your nanny quits aand finds a job working for someone who understands that kids cry. |
Anonymous
| If I were your boss I would fire you for watching your child on the clock. |
Anonymous
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Honestly, I wouldn't mind you watching us all day.
But calling whenever your child cries would drive me crazy and I eventually quit. 2 yo cry all the time. My two yea old cries when he can't have chocolate, or TV, or we can go outside at that time or when he falls. You calling me is not going to make me give in on chocolate, TV or outside time. And if he hurt himself, calling me is going to take attention away from him when I try to comfort him or check him out to make sure he is ok. It's distracting. Imagine your Boss calling you at every move. |
Anonymous
| Employer from hell. Stay home and watch your own kid. |
Anonymous
Agree. Dear Insecure Parent, Please don't punish your child with your problems, and a parade of nannies. That's just mean. Get a good therapist and do some hard work. Thank you. |
Anonymous
| People like you make me thank God for my amazing MB/DB. |
Anonymous
| No, that is never okay. But I think you know that, OP. |