At what age do you stop debriefing the child's day in front of the child?

[Anonymous]

I am the nanny to a nearly two-year-old with both eating and "sharing" issues (all typical and age appropriate). While I think it is great to "gossip" to the parents about how well my charge did or handled something that day - I am beginning to think that the negative aspects should be discussed in private - especially with potty training around the corner.

What say you MBs and Nannies?

[Anonymous]

I've never felt the need to discuss something in private, especially as I don't consider it gossip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never felt the need to discuss something in private, especially as I don't consider it gossip

OP here - by "gossip" I mean the Dr. Karp model of having the child "overhear" you praise them. "Gossip" in this context is a good thing.

Sorry, I should have been more clear.

[Anonymous]

I think the OP is right for some things. So, yes, you for sure want the child to hear you reporting the good things, and even the less good things they did that day - said in a positive way. "she had a hard time sharing at the beginning when we were at the library today, but then she did and had fun with another little girl about her age."

But for the things that are really about solving problems or concerns, I do think some things shouldn't be discussed in front of others - both discipline issues, potty training, simply not eating at lunch, or whatever.

[Anonymous]

All depends on the individual child. You need to learn how to be sensitive and how to correctly interpret the child's cues.

[Anonymous]

I don't discuss anything in front of a child, no matter how young, that way I'm not in the habit as the child starts understanding more and becomes verbal. The child knows that mommy and daddy know what happened, because the parents talk to the child about the day. But it's never appropriate to discuss issues in front of the child, imo, and the nanny shouldn't need to seem like she's praising the child a second time for the positive things that happened earlier in the day. Yes, reinforcement from the parents for both praise and verbal disappointment are good, no, the child doesn't need to hear either from the nanny a second time.

[Anonymous]

I write down the things I don't want the child to overhear in our daily log, and keep my verbal debrief positive.

[Anonymous]

My charges are school age. I debrief everyday infront of them. Neve been an issue.

[Anonymous]

Thank you!

Ding-dong, the troll is dead!

I encourage everyone to report that freak every time she posts. Reporting works.

[Anonymous]

What I do is keep a daily written log and/or text parent during the day.

If they would like to discuss the matter on the phone, then they are always welcome to call me after said child goes to bed or on their days off.