Religious Differences With Potential Nanny

[Anonymous]

I am currently interviewing for a part time position for my school aged children (so predominantly after school care). One of the leading candidates is very active in a local evangelical megachurch-- it is a very big part of her life. We are liberal and agnostic. This is not our first nanny, and I have never before even been aware of our nanny's religion. If you are a parent or a caregiver, would these religious differences be a concern to you?

[Anonymous]

Listen to your gut and be done with her. End of story, otherwise you're a fool.

[Anonymous]

Why do you know her religious affiliation?
Did you ask and she answered?
Did you ask what she did in her spare time and church was her answer?
Did you Googler her and find out the information?
Did she just randomly tell you about her religion?

If any of the first four I'd say it's worth a shot.

If it's the last I would pass.

I say this as a religious nanny who does use work as a mission field. I also grew up with nannies of various backgrounds and beliefs than my parents helping me grow into a tolerant and respectful adult.

[Anonymous]

Let's see what op has to say about that...

[Anonymous]

She gave me her pastor's name and church as a personal (not professional) reference. She mentioned that she moved to area for this specific church, and that her child attended the school affiliated with the church. I would never ask about religion in an interview, since I'm agnostic, it just isn't at the forefront of my mind.

[Anonymous]

Op again, other than mentioned the church in the context above, she did not discuss its beliefs, etc. . . I did google it later.

[Anonymous]

She should be mature and professional enough to know that she cannot evangelize during this job to your kids or to anyone else. That goes without saying. I would make sure of that. I think it is worth it to address before the offer. "Will you be trying to indoctrinate my kid?" And get a firm no.

Although I am also agnostic like you, send my kids to a small church-based preschool and they sing G-d songs all the time and I'm fine with it. She will be answer questions like "what is santa clause" from a religious aspect and you should be OK with that. I think it is good to grow up with an awareness of G-d as something that someone may choose to believe in, and what that means.

[Anonymous]

My nanny is very religious but we come from a different religious background (Jewish) but only culturally celebrate our religion (ie no synagoge on the weekends, no kosher, etc). I am also pretty liberal and her religion is...not. I was concerned at first, but I asked one of her former employers about it, and the former employer said there was never an issue. I have since found the same thing - she is very respectful of my religion, but we don't discuss social/religious issues deeply. She is a kind, respectful, and loving person and that is all I can really ask of our nanny!

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the responses. My kids actually went to a religiously affiliated preschool with weekly chapel, so I am not opposed to talk about god. What concerns me more is that this church is anti-homosexual and anti-choice, and we are very socially liberal. Perhaps I am overthinking.

[Anonymous]

You're not overthinking, OP. I wouldn't risk even the chance of an off-handed comment that runs contrary to my family's values if I had the knowledge of that potential. What if one of your children has a schoolmate with two moms or two dads; do you think this woman could 100% conceal her feelings on that? Your children are certainly old enough to pick up on more subtle social clues. I'd pass.

[Anonymous]

Why is it so difficult to follow your gut with this, OP?

[Anonymous]

I would not hire her, OP. I'm a MB, and would not hire anyone affiliated with any extremes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not overthinking, OP. I wouldn't risk even the chance of an off-handed comment that runs contrary to my family's values if I had the knowledge of that potential. What if one of your children has a schoolmate with two moms or two dads; do you think this woman could 100% conceal her feelings on that? Your children are certainly old enough to pick up on more subtle social clues. I'd pass.

I'm very religious and belive that most people will burn in hell especially those you listed. However I keep my thoughts to myself. I can be nice and kind to anyone regardless of their differences and beliefs. My chages don't know my stance of gays or Jewish people. I am a professional and keep them to myself. I also have no issue being friendly and social with gays.

[Anonymous]

Here is my post on this exact topic from last year. We ended up going with a different candidate:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/nanny-forum/posts/list/299329.page

[Anonymous]

I am the MB who posted my thread from last year. Prior to our move last summer, or previous nanny was a very religious Mormon who fit in great in our liberal, culturally Jewish family.

Before her, we had a part time nanny who was Pentacostal. She also fit in just fine.

Neither of those nannies brought up their church or religion in the interview. We have enough Jewish stuff out in the house that I am sure they also would have turned the job down if our religion had been an issue for them. The nanny we didn't hire talked about religion (hers and ours) in the interview to the extent that I worried about how it would work out.